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但是 你看看他
But... just look at him now.
好像你对他做的一切从来就没有发生过
It's as if what you did to him never happened,
他真的很快乐 妮可
and he's truly happy, Nico,
比他曾经任何时候都要开心
happier than he's ever, ever been.
你妈妈都不知道
Your mother didn't recognize him
他是个这么聪明 善良的人
for the kind, brilliant man he is.
我知道
I do.
我妈妈要是知道你把他变成了一个
My mother won't be too happy you've turned him
戴首饰的小白脸 衬衫还敞开了
into a man-jewelry-wearing boy toy
这么多颗扣子 可不会太开心
who has way too many buttons open on his shirt.
你妈妈这一生伤害了很多人
Your mother hurt a lot of people in her lifetime.
她要为她的罪行付出代价
She has to pay for her sins.
不如你不要杀了我 我们一起共进午餐
Now, how about you don't kill me and we have a nice lunch?
这里的羊肉球很棒
The lamb meatballs are amazing.
我之前所在的地方 食物都在我嘴里化成灰
Of course, all food turns to ash in your mouth where I've been,
所以现在看来什么都很精致美味
so anything would be exquisite right now.
你知道该怎么办 妮可
You know how this works, Nico.
我不能逼你 你是自主的女巫
I can't force you to do anything. You are your own witch.
不管你需不需要我的帮助 都是你自己的决定
Whether you want my help or not, it's up to you.
妮可 这是摩根
Nico, this is Morgan.
她救了我的命
The woman who saved my life.
来 坐下
Come, sit down.
谢谢
Thank you.
她还拯救了巫师
She also saved Wizard.
什么 她...在巫师工作吗
What? She's... working at Wizard?
你妈妈差点炸掉地球 然后又消失后
After your mom almost blew up that plant and disappeared,
巫师就陷入了危机
Wizard was in crisis.
但是摩根是个营销天才 她扭转了一切
But Morgan, marketing genius that she is, turned it all around.
我们是一起成功的
Oh, we did it together.
你父亲真是了不起
Your father is a marvel.
我们今晚就要在这里
We're actually celebrating Wizard's
庆祝巫师的全新方向
brand-new direction here, tonight.
我希望你也能来
I hope you come.
我很期待
I would love that.
我知道你一时难以接受
I know it's a lot to take in.
但是...我现在开心多了
But... I've never felt happier.
更像是我自己了
More myself.
我希望你也能成为我们的一份子
And I want you to be a part of it.
我保证 等你了解了摩根
I promise, you get to know Morgan...
你也会像我一样爱上她
you'll love her as much as I do.
我告诉你 这个手♥机♥
I'm telling you, there's something weird
有点不对劲
going on with those phones.
格特
Gert?
手♥机♥
The phones.
-嗯 很棒吧 -不 我觉得这很邪恶
- Oh, yeah, they're great, right? - No. I think they're evil.
什么
What?
我刚和麦克斯说你觉得这些手♥机♥很邪恶
I just told Max what you said about the phones being evil
他给我发了一张尼古拉斯·凯奇发疯的动图
and he sent me this gif of Nicolas Cage looking crazy.
和他说你不懂的
Told him you wouldn't get it.
等等 格特 停下
Wait, Gert, stop!
你把它摔坏了
You cracked it!
你做了什么
What did you do?!
对不起 我能修好的 好吗
I'm sorry. I can fix it, okay?
真不敢相信你说服我来了
Can't believe you convinced me to come to this.
要是被人知道尼莫的总裁
What if it gets out that the CEO of Nemo
和一堆废物待了一天会怎么样
spends his days with a bunch of screwballs?
他们不是废物 维克多 他们是人
They are not screwballs, Victor, they are people...
在消化他们的创伤 我们要是想要治愈
processing their trauma, which is what we need to do
我们经历的事 我们也该这么做
if we want to heal from what we've been through.
再说了 这是匿名的 名字上都说了是匿名交流
Besides, it's anonymous. It's in the name.
先说清楚 我说得废物里
Just to be clear, I was including you
也包括你
in the screwball category.
脆弱也是没有关系的
You know, it is okay to be vulnerable.
这里很安全
This is a safe place.
欢迎来到外星人绑♥架♥创伤匿名分享会
Welcome to Alien Abductee Anonymous.
大家都坐下吧
Everyone find a seat.
她们看起来像性感的金发单纯小妞
They looked like hot blond chicks.
她们对我很感兴趣
And they were very interested in me.
肉体上那种
Sexually.
她们用光照我和我的奶牛
They beamed both me and my cow up.
照了很久 就和奶牛说话
For the longest time, just talked to the cow,
好像...好像他们觉得它才是管事的
like... like I think they thought he was in charge.
他们说他们会向我揭露
Well, they told me they would reveal
宇宙最深的秘密
the secrets of the universe to me.
然后她们把我爆菊了
Then they probed me, anally.
然后他们捅我
Then they probed me.
我觉得他们没有捅我的牛
I don't think they ever probed my cow.
他们好像很尊重它
They seemed to respect him too much.
然后他们给我灌输了关于存在的
And they probed me with incredible knowledge
无与伦比的知识
about the meaning of existence.
还有通过肛♥交♥的方式
And with an anal probe.
其实我只是来支持我的朋友
Oh, actually, I'm just here to support my friend.
没事的 维克多 也许这样能有帮助
It's okay, Victor, it might help.
好吧
Well...
我的经历开始于一个外星人
my experience began when an alien
混入了我的朋友圈
ingratiated himself into my friend group.
他治愈了我的癌症
He cured my cancer,
给我注入了他的DNA
by injecting me with his DNA,
让我发了疯 还想杀我儿子
which caused me to go berserk and try to kill my son.
幸好我的妻子及时朝我开枪
Luckily, my wife shot me in time.
我破坏了外星飞船
I sabotaged the alien ship
那个外星人就占领了我的身体
and he responded by leaping into my body,
我就一直处于混沌之中
where I lived in a state of constant drowning.
他控制了我的身体
While he was in control of my body,
和我的妻子上♥床♥ 囚禁了我的儿子
he slept with my wife, imprisoned my son,
还逼我和她做♥爱♥
and indirectly forced me to have sex with her.
最后只有他的能量被扯出我的身体后
The only way I was finally rid of them
我终于摆脱了他们
was when his energy was torn from my body
却被扔到了另一个维度里
as I was thrown into an alternate dimension,
然后一遍遍重温我在孩童时受到的虐待
where I was forced to relive childhood abuse over and over again.
你说他给你注入DNA时
When you say that he injected you with his DNA,
你是指爆菊的吧
you mean by anal probe, right?
我没有被爆菊
I was never anally probed.
我不会容忍♥你来这样
I will not stand for you coming in here
嘲讽组员取乐
and getting your jollies by mocking this group.
什么 这是真事
What?! That's what happened.
谁对这家伙的冷漠而感到愤怒
Who here is triggered by this guy's insensitivity?
真...
Real--
搞什么
Really?
你要去哪里 回家吗
So, where you headed? Home?
我想是吧 我也不知道该去哪里
Uh, I guess. I mean, don't really know where to go.
我不知道戴尔在哪里
I don't know where Dale is.
格特和茉莉也说得很清楚
And Gert and Molly kind of made it clear
她们想要远离我一阵子 所以
that they need a little time away from me, so...
我的实验室在进行一个项目的研究
I'm working on a project in the lab,
你愿意来做顾问吗
if you wanted a consultant.
愿意
Yeah.
拜托 切萝卜
Hey, come on, let's put some muscle
用点力 埃尔南德斯
on those carrots, Hernandez.
要是你不对我步步紧逼 那我可能还快点
I'd get it done faster if you weren't breathing down my neck.
不 这样
No. Like... like this.
跟着节奏来
To the beat.
你的节奏感很好
You've got good rhythm.
我是我们学校舞队的
I was on my school dance team.
是吗 我觉得这里有几个孩子是会跳舞的
Oh, yeah? I think a couple of the kids here dance.
-嗯 -也许你能组个新队伍
- Yeah. - Maybe you could start a new team.
-你觉得他们会喜欢吗 -他们肯定喜欢
- You think they'd like that? - They'd love it.
这儿的味道可是绝了
Mm. This smells dead-ass bomb in here, fam.
这家伙不懂梗
That guy does not understand slang.
他的口袋里有一张
He has a spreadsheet of Generation Z
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