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The world's been ending since it started.
这不是答案
That's not an answer.
问题是什么
What's the question?
你在找什么 证据吗
What are you looking for? Proof?
你一直在宣扬的就是这个 对吧
Well, that's what you're advertising here, right?
天启的迹象之类的
"Signs of the apocalypse" and all that?
那更多是隐喻
That's mostly just metaphor.
我听到东西 看到东西
I hear things. I see things.
有人来找我 各种疯言疯语
People come up to me, they say all sorts of crazy stuff.
自从汤姆·克鲁斯爆♥炸♥后 疯言疯语变多了
And there has been an uptick ever since Tom Cruise exploded,
毫无疑问
no question.
小熊队赢了
The Cubs winning...
特朗普 还有那头会飞的猪
...Trump, this -- this flying pig.
那才是真正的上帝之怒 对吧
That's real wrath of god stuff, right?
但迟早会有解释
But sooner or later, there's always an explanation --
强力投球 克格勃干涉之类的
Strong pitching, KGB interference, whatever.
最后 肯定会有解释
In the end, there's always a good reason.
所以你是出来吓人的 为了钱吗
So you're just out here scaring people? For money?
他们早就害怕了
They're already scared.
他们来听我说世界末日
They come listen to me talk about the end of the world
是为了去担心那个
so they can worry about that
好不去想真正让他们害怕的东西
instead of what really scares them.
那是什么
Which is what?
他们自己
Themselves.
还有什么比我们和我们做的事更让人害怕
What is more frightening than who we are and what we done?
我得还车贷 我还酗酒
Well, I have got car payments and a drinking problem,
所以我该回去了
so I should probably get back to it.
你听说过"出♥卖♥♥♥灵魂"的事吗
You hear about this whole fractional "Soul-selling" thing?
当然了 那个日本人
The Japanese, sure.
有个信徒因为那个来找我
This parishioner came to me about it.
他想卖♥♥一小部分自己的灵魂
He's thinking about selling a small amount of his, you know.
当然 我告诉他不行
And, of course, I said, "No way."
但这个人情况很困难
But this guy was in quite a tough situation.
他朋友有麻烦 需要帮助
Friends were in trouble, needed help.
所以通过卖♥♥一小部分他的灵魂
So by selling off this small part of his soul --
我是说 很小一部分 大概1%
And I mean, tiny, like one percent --
我觉得...
I thought...
这样的牺牲可能是值得的
Maybe it was a sacrifice worth making.
知道吗
You know?
我会告诉你的信徒
I would tell your parishioner
如果他想帮助朋友
that if he wants to help his friends,
他应该去卖♥♥肾
he should give a kidney.
如果你在找天启的证据
And if you're looking for signs of the apocalypse,
那人卖♥♥灵魂就是一个
I would start with men selling off their souls.
处理好了
The situation has been handled.
下面去哪里
Where to next?
新奥尔良
New Orleans, sir.
目标呢
And the target?
一个传教士 杰西卡斯特
Uh, a preacher. "Jesse Custer."
我马上过去
I'm on my way.
那里的水有剧毒
The water was highly toxic.
不好意思 能请你再解释一下吗
I'm sorry, but would you mind explaining it again?
水害死了整个村子的人
The water killed the whole village.
让那头猪浮起来了
Made the pig float.
水让那头猪浮起来了
The water made the pig float?
被污染了的水怎么能
How could contaminated water produce
产生这样的效果呢
such an unusual effect?
它里面全是氢原子
It was saturated with hydrogen atoms.
渗透进了猪的组织
Permeated the pig's tissue.
导致了一点悬浮
Resulted in limited levitation.
就跟肉气球一样
Like a meat balloon.
"肉气球"
"Meat balloon"?
是肉气球
Meat balloon.
-真是太难以置信了 -请问
- It just seems so incredible. - Remind me --
你是科学家吗
Are you a scientist?
不是
No.
那你就闭嘴
Well, then shut up!
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