杰茜驾到（2011）

New Girl S06E18

Part 2 Nov. 20, 2020, 3:29 p.m.

under the weight of my full body,
把法佛尔先生压制在身下
look him in the eyes and tell him to repeat after me:
看着他的双眼叫他跟我重复这句话
"I got drunk playing football and remember nothing since.
"我打橄榄球打醉了之后的事都不记得了
"I would never knowingly wear a tuxedo, drive a tractor
我清醒的时候绝不会故意穿燕尾服或把拖拉机
"into a swimming pool or eat a salad.
开到泳池里或是吃沙拉
"And I would never knowingly
而且我清醒的时候
leave my Bronco Blue Jeans behind."
绝不会丢下我的野马牌牛仔裤"
And the maître d'?
那个服务生怎么处理
I rented the tractor in his name.
我用他的名义租的拖拉机
The next call he'll be making will be from the police station.
他下一次打电♥话♥就是在警♥察♥局里了
Welcome to Ass Strat.
欢迎加入♥联♥合策略
Muffin? Muffin. They're homemade.
吃玛芬蛋糕吗我自己做的哦
Blueberry.
蓝莓味的
Look out, principal's coming!
小心点校长来了
Bah. Just kidding. Muffin?
逗你们的吃玛芬蛋糕吗
Either way, no.
两种我都拒绝
Okay. Well, cool, cool, cool, cool.
好吧没事没事
I think Bayou Sue sent the letter...
我觉得苏贝欧寄信...
Sorry, what did you say?
不好意思你刚刚说什么
Sorry. Are we in trouble?
抱歉我们惹麻烦了吗
No, I just... Did you say Bayou Sue?
没有你刚刚是说苏贝欧吗
She's just a character in this book that we're obsessed with.
她是我们很沉迷的一本书里的角色
Yeah, Pepperwood Chronicles.
是的《加州桂传》
Anyway, you probably wouldn't know anything about it.
反正你应该连听都没听过
I put a couple copies in the library,
我在图书馆放了几本
and the librarian didn't think it'd go anywhere.
管♥理♥员♥还觉得肯定没人会借来看
I can't wait to rub it in Esther's smug face.
我等不及要看艾斯特打脸了
That's very flattering. Please come and talk to these girls.
谢谢夸奖拜托你来学校跟这些女生聊聊
They're obsessed with Pepperwood.
她们都迷恋加州桂
I don't have time for this. I'm only on page two.
我没时间我才写到第二页
And page one is just a dedication to Winston.
第一页也只是写了献给温斯顿
Ugh. Come on.
拜托
The kids used to love Vice Principal Jess,
孩子们以前爱死杰茜副校长了
and now they won't have anything to do with Principal Jess.
可现在他们根本不想跟杰茜校长打交道
It's like I'm living in my own damn adorable shadow.
就好像我被自己可爱的阴影笼罩着
Please? You-you might get some ideas from your audience.
求你了或许你也能从读者那里得到灵感
My audience is the men who built this great country.
我的读者是建立起这个伟大国家的男人
Your students would never understand
你的学生永远无法理解
that Pepperwood's just a New Orleans story
加州桂是发生在新奥尔良
about a guy fighting with the alligator within.
关于一个男人和内心的鳄鱼作斗争的故事
Well, could you just do it for me?
能不能就为了我去一趟呢
Yeah, I'll-- I mean, I'll do it for you, Jess, sure.
可以为了你我会去的杰茜
Well, then why didn't you--
那你刚才怎么...
You know what, I'm happy with where we ended up,
算了结果我很满意
but you took me on a real spin around the block there.
但你刚才真是让我好忐忑
So, as you can see here, I treat Furguson right.
你也看到了我对弗格森很好
Okay? Organic kitty litter.
好吗有机猫砂
I got the miniature piano,
我买♥♥了迷你钢琴
the tiny, tiny treadmill,
和超小型跑步机
and right over here is where we do couples yoga.
这里就是我们一起做瑜伽的地方
Fish nuggets? Oh, well, that would explain
鱼块吗这就解释了他最近的便便
his recent oily eliminations,
为什么会那么油
which I document on the cloud.
我已经把证据拍照上传云端了
You track his poop?
你记录他的便便
What, you just weigh his hairballs and clock out?
怎么你就称一下他的毛团块就完事了吗
I mean, I... Furguson is happy here, okay?
我... 弗格森在这里很开心好吗
Around people that actually cherish him.
他身边的人都真心爱着他
Don't you start, Cece.
别开这茬啊希希
And who helped him become the cat that he is.
他们助他成长为今天这只猫
Now ain't the time. I'm sorry, but it's true.
现在可不是时候抱歉但这都是事实
Now ain't the time. What's happening?
现在可不是时候怎么回事
I'm trying, okay?
我也在努力啊
I've just got to breathe for a second.
我得先深呼吸一下
Let me explain something to you, okay?
我跟你解释清楚好吗
Furguson is my cat.
弗格森是我的猫
I found him first.
我先找到他的
Well, you may have found Furguson,
也许你找到了弗格森
but Sweatshirt found me.
可是是运动衫找到我的
I see you want to play hardball here. How about this?
看样子你吃硬不吃软那这样吧
We settle things the way we do on the street.
我们用街头方式来解决
Catcall. What?
唤猫什么
We let Furguson decide. Oh, yeah.
我们让弗格森来决定没错
Fine. We'll leave the decision in his paws.
行决定权就握在他爪子里
Which are now incredibly strong,
他爪子现在可有力了
thanks to his new set of, uh, mini-dumbbells.
多亏了这副新买♥♥的迷你哑铃
You're welcome.
不客气
Okay, Pepper-heads!
加州桂迷妹们
Get ready for a memorable experience,
准备好迎接一场难忘的经历
which I hope you will recount at your weddings,
希望你们婚礼时能回想起今天
which I will also be at,
当然我也会出席婚礼的
brought to you by your favorite
由你们最喜欢的
principal-slash-friend, Jessica Day.
校长兼朋友杰茜卡·戴呈献
Please welcome your favorite author, Nick Miller!
请热烈欢迎你们最爱的作者尼克·米勒
No, no, no. Stop it, stop it.
行了行了别拍了
All right, let's get this over with.
好吧赶紧结束了事
Uh, let's talk about the book
我们来聊聊这本
you guys most certainly don't understand
你们绝对无法理解的书
because it wasn't written for you
因为这不是写给你们
or people your age. Go ahead.
或你们同龄人看的说吧
The kissing. OMG, the romance.
那些吻里面的恋情
The make out scene at the levee. Oh, the romance.
在堤坝的亲热戏码美好的恋情
Guys! Pepperwood's about way more than just a romance.
各位加州桂的故事可不只是关于小小的恋情
It's... it's, uh, it's about life, you know?
而是关于关于生活懂吗
Race.
种族
The sexualization of the American handgun.
美国手♥枪♥的性化
Keep it clean. Okay.
注意尺度好
It's a story about his ambiguous relationship
这故事说的是他和正义之间
with... with justice.
模糊的关系
But the romance is amazing.
但是那恋情太美好了
It made me realize
它让我意识到
it doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay;
我是直是弯并不重要
I'm just me.
我就是我
You got that from my book?
你从我的书里悟出了这个
That's-- yeah. That was positive.
这真是这挺积极的
Do you think that's because of the gay dog character?
你觉得这是因为那个同性恋的角色吗
Yeah.
是的
What I really respect about that is
关于角色我真的觉得了不起的是
it's never mentioned that he's a gay dog.
从没直接提过他是同性恋
But you got that from the writing.
但你能从上下文从读出来
And that's pretty dope.
这点真的很酷
You write female desire so well.
你对女性♥欲♥望的描写非常贴切
Thank you. That's okay to say, right?
谢谢你可以这样说对吗
Yah, Ramona.
当然拉蒙纳
I'm-I'm just like you.
我也跟你们一样
I'm your princi-pal. I'm your friend.
我是你们的校长伙伴你们的朋友
I like to just throw on my rollerblades,
我也喜欢匆匆穿上我的旱冰鞋
and just go out there and think.
然后出门去思考
Can I ask you guys
我能问问你们关于
about the scene in the fish morgue?
鱼停尸房♥场景的想法吗
Oh, my God, that was my favorite chapter. Mine, too.
我的天那是我最喜欢的章节我也是
I read it, like, five times. Yeah, same!
我差不多读了五遍我也是
What? I stayed up all night. It was such a good chapter.
什么我彻夜未眠真是很棒的一章
Thank you.
"谢谢你"
Oh, yeah. You're welcome. Why'd you whisper it?
别客气为什么小声说
Jeremy, I'm just gonna go grab a coffee, and then I will...
杰里米我要去喝杯咖啡然后我会
Dark roast, soy creamer, 160 degrees.
深度烘焙大豆奶油 70度
How was your lunch, sir? Disappointing.
午餐怎么样先生失望
Why don't you eat the homemade bucatini I brought for myself?
不如你尝尝我带来的自♥制♥通心粉吧
Well, thank you, Jeremy.
好的谢谢你杰里米
You know, I'm not getting e-mails on my...
知道吗我手♥机♥一直收不到邮...