飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E01

Part 1 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

《飞出个未来》
futurama is brought to you by...
由Glagnar人皮脆赞助播出
Glagnar's human rinds.
量足又好嚼的人皮脆
it's a buncha muncha cruncha humans!
我感同身受
I Second That Emotion
由肉类副产品制成
猪鼻子宠物粮
哦
ooh!
看起来有人很爱猪鼻子
aw, somebody likes snouts.
是在说我吗？
is it me?
哦,我的头
oh, my head!
我宝贝的头！
my precious head!
哦！
oh!
这个傻♥逼♥开罐器！
stupid can opener!
你杀死我爸爸现在你又瞄上我了！
you killed my father and now you've come back for me!
你没事吧，Bender?
you all right, Bender?
额，是的，我觉得没事
uh, yeah, i guess so.
但我不明白为什么我们要留着这么个定时炸♥弹♥
but i don't see why we keep this ticking time bomb around
就是为了这个傻乎乎的动物
just for that dumb animal!
别这样对着Nibble吼
don't yell at Nibbler like that.
你伤害到他的感情了
you hurt his feelings.
来，拍拍他和个好
come on, pet him and make up.
不！
no!
我叫你拍拍他
i said pet him.
我拍
i'll pet him.
我用两只手拍死它！
i'll pet him with both hands!
嗷，我的屁♥股♥！
ow, my ass!
下去！下去！
get off! get off!
你没事吧？
are you all right?
没事，咱们法庭上见
eh, it's nothing a lawsuit won't cure!
不是问你
not you.
小可怜
oh, poor baby.
牙齿崩了一个
chipped a fang.
嘿，我屁♥股♥被咬了，就这！
hey, i got a busted ass, here!
怎么没人来亲亲它的！
i don't see anyone kissing it!
好，我来亲吧
all right, i'm coming.
动物诊所
修理虚拟宠物
修理虚拟宠物
记着
remember:
Rover口服用药
Rover gets the pill
Pepper肛♥门♥用药
and Pepper gets the suppository.
下一位
next!
嗷！
ow!
只不过断了颗牙并不严重
ah, it's just a simple broken fang.
并不严重
nothing serious.
你说什么，医生？
what's that you say there, doctor?
你准备把它安乐死？
you're going to have to put him down?
没，我…但我…
no, i...but i...
那太遗憾了
terrible shame, that.
泻药
我能有这荣幸代劳吗？
shall i do the honors?
不！
no!
用完了没？
you about done?
下次我就不还给你了
next time i'm keeping it.
我相信有颗适合你们宠物的备用牙
well, i believe i have a replacement fang for your pet
就在隔壁
in the next room.
美洲豹不愿意配合
the jaguar didn't want to cooperate
不过幸好它敲掉了我的一颗牙
but luckily he knocked one of my teeth out.
现在，来吧…
now, then...
嘿，Nibble牙上的那些圈圈是什么？
hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?
额，我还有点晕
um, i'm still a little woozy
我脑袋今早被羚羊踢了
from a gazelle kick this morning
不过可能和树的年轮一个样
but if he's anything like the common tree
圈数代表了它的年龄
the rings might indicate his age.
是啊，好吧，那得加油
yeah, well, good luck.
能数清到底有几圈的得是个天才
it would take some kind of genius to count all those rings.
它五岁了
he's five.
五岁生日快乐，Nibbler
happy birthday, young Nibbler.
看看它穿上新的斗篷多么可爱
aw, look how cuddly he looks in his new cape.
给我个新斗篷，我也可以很可爱
i'd be cuddly, too, if someone gave me a new cape.
谁要玩“钉月蛆尾巴” ？
who's playing "pin the tail on the moon maggot"?
我！大家都看看我有多厉害！
ooh, me! everyone watch how good i am!
瞄准中
目标锁定
耶！现场观众沸腾了！
yay! and the crowd goes wild!
奖品是什么？钱吗？
what prize do i get, cash?
嘿，快Nibbler
hey, look at Nibbler!
哇哦，他还会拿勺子啊
aw, he's holding a spoon.
他可真能干
he's so talented.
你管这叫能干？
you call that talent?
快来老Bender的身边
gather 'round ol' Bender
我要让你欣赏毕生难忘的表演
and get ready for the show of a lifetime.
现在他戴上生日帽了！
now, he's wearing a hat!
来吧，大家一起来唱《生日快乐》
come on, let's all sing "happy birthday."
今天是个什么日子
what day is today
Nibbler的生日
it's Nibbler's birthday
生日多美好
what a day for a birthday
快把蛋糕分掉
let's all have some cake.
你闻起来和蛋糕一样甜
and you smell like one, too.
嘿！
hey!
再看这个？
what about this?
Bender
我认为你现在应该在准备这次派对的食物
you were supposed to be cooking for this party.
好，我们吃烤Nibbler吧！
fine. we'll have rack of Nibbler.
就做个蛋糕好了
just make a simple cake.
还有，这次如果有什么要从蛋糕里跳出来，
and this time if someone's going to jump out of it
注：根据后面的剧情，Leela这里指的应该是老鼠
做熟再放他们进去
make sure to put them in afteryou cook it.
那么你就想要个蛋糕，是吗？
so it's a cake you want, is it?
我会做一个你这辈子也不会忘记的蛋糕
i'll make you a cake you'll never forget.
耗子药
注：应该是上次蛋糕里进老鼠了
这就能解决那些烦人的老鼠了
that'll take care of those annoying rats.
现在，做一个美味可口的蛋糕
now, to make a cake so delicious
他们就会崇拜和喜欢我了
they'll have no choice but to love and worship me.
各种等
级鸟蛋
橙汁
自
家
烧
烤
油
面粉
333牛奶
冷藏
简单烘焙
完成！
there!
这下那些混♥蛋♥总能明白谁最可爱了
this will teach those filthy bastards who's lovable.
现在检查一下拼写错误
now, all i have to do is spell check it
然后准备享受大家的崇拜吧
and it's ready for my admiring public.
不要！快走开
no! get away from there.
够了
that's it!
生日快乐
happy birthday!
Bender，出什么事…
Bender, what's going...
不！
no!
嘿！没看到我在用厕所吗？
hey, can't you see i'm using the toilet?
Bender，你怎么能把Nibbler冲下厕所呢？
Bender, how could you flush Nibbler down the toilet?
第一步，我先掀起坐垫
well, step one, i had to lift the seat.
这是第一个小麻烦
that was the first little annoyance.
对吧，兄弟们？
am i right, men?
你一点都不难受吗？
aren't you upset at all?
如果我把Fry冲下厕所你什么感觉？
how would you feel if i flushed Fry down the toilet?
试试就知道了
only one way to find out.
你对别人没有一丁点同情心
you have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings.
当然有
of course i do.
我现在就为你感到难过
right now, i feel sorry for you.
是吗？
you do?
是啊，我意思是
yeah. i mean
你有一个哈密瓜那么大布满红血丝的眼睛
one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye.
你没机会赢选美比赛的，小姐
you ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady.
在此我们向我们深爱的宠物Nibbler告别
and so we say "good-bye" to our beloved pet, Nibbler