飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E03

Part 3 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

我怀念我的身体
i remember my body.
肌肉松弛的、肤色苍白的、被静脉炎破坏了的
flabby, pasty-skinned, riddled with phlebitis.
一副优秀共和党人的身体
a good republican body.
天啊，我爱死它了
god, i loved it.
我同意
i hear that.
我青少年时期都很喜爱我的身体
i spent most of my teen years loving my body.
当然，爱的比较粗鲁，但是...
course, it was tough love
Fry，他开启了中国的外交关系
Fry, he opened up relations with china.
他可不想在这听你絮叨
he doesn't want to hear about your ding-dong.
可是，尼克松,即使你很怀念你的身体
so, Nixon, even if you miss your body
做一个头活着也不错吗？
being a head's great, too, right?
不，孩子
no, son.
这是一种悲伤而孤独的生活
it's a sad and lonely life.
太棒了！现在告诉我这个
oh, great. now you tell me.
这就是我的作风
that's my style.
我就是喜欢在别人摔倒的时候再踩他们几脚
i like to kick 'em when they're down.
1 、0…
one, zero, uh--
1、 1、 0 、0 、1…
one, one, zero, zero, one--
Bender，怎么了？
Bender, what is it?
我做了个噩梦
whoa, what an awful dream.
注：指机器人代码是二进制；二进制只有0和1，不存在2，
之前Bender入教那集祈祷词里也出现了2
到处都是1和0
ones and zeros everywhere.
我想我还看见了一个2
and i thought i saw a two.
这只是一个梦，ender
it was just a dream,Bender.
没有2这种东西
there's no such thing as two.
我知道这是怎么回事了
i know what this is about.
我的身体很爱我，但我却抛弃了它
my body loved me and i turned its back on it.
好的，老伙计，系一个黄丝带在你的脖子上
well, old friend, tie a yellow ribbon 'round your neck
注：黄丝带象征平安归来，起源于1971年美国
《纽约邮报》刊登的小说：刑满释放者以树上
是否系黄丝带判断能否回家
我要回家了
'cause i'm a-comin' home.
你把我的身体卖♥♥了？卖♥♥给谁了？
you sold my body?! to who?!
我不能透露卖♥♥家信息
i can't reveal that information
但你看起来像是个不错的机器人
but you look like a nice robot.
这样吧，我出50刀买♥♥你身后这孩子
tell you what--i'll give you 50 bucks for the kid.
嘿，我的衣服就值50刀
hey, my clothes are worth 50 bucks.
成交
deal.
我怎么会让这种事情发生？
how could i let this happen?
我不能这个样子度过我的余生
i can't go through the rest of my life like this.
你不是有个自我毁灭的按钮吗？
don't you have a self-destruct button?
是…可是在我身体上
yeah...but it's on my body.
我该怎么办？
what am i going to do?
额，我没法眼睁睁的看着一个机器人哭
uh, i can't stand to see a robot cry.
我们还是看电视吧
let's watch tv.
女士们先生们
and so, ladies and gentlemen
我要以人头参与角逐
i'm throwing my head into the ring.
我现在宣布我参选地球总统
i'm announcing my candidacy for the presidency of earth.
陈独家，北♥京♥军号♥报记者
scoop chang, beijing bugle.
阁下，宪法明确规定
Sir, the constitution clearly states
没有人可以担任美国总统2届以上
that nobody can be elected president more than twice.
对…没有人
注：没有人（nobody），没有身体（no body），谐音梗
that's right... no body.
但是你可以看见，我有了一个闪亮的新身体
but as you can plainly see, i've got a shiny new body.
Bender，他拿到了你的身体！
Bender, he's got your body!
那个肮脏的背信弃义的杂种身体！
that dirty,double-crossing bastard!
它怎么敢和尼克松私奔？
how dare he run off with Richard Nixon.
尼克松一定是从当铺买♥♥走了你的身体
Nixon must have bought your body from the pawnshop.
是的，还有那个电吉他
yeah, and that electric guitar.
记住睡鼠说过的话
注：这是美国乐队Jefferson Airplane的单曲White Rabbit
remember what the dormouse said
喂饱你的大脑…
feed your head...
我向你们妥协,你们这些愚蠢的嬉皮士
i'm meeting you halfway, you stupid hippies.
我不是颗骗人的头
i am not a crook's head.
不，你是，你偷了我的身体！
yeah, you are. you stole my body!
Fry, Leela，你们得帮我
Fry, Leela, you got to help me.
一般来说，我会拒绝并教导你一番
ordinarily, i'd say no and lecture you
让你明白做这种蠢事完全是你自己的错
on how this is your own fault for being such an idiot.
但是当一个机器人尼克松如此放肆时
but when a robotic Nixon is on the loose,
我们有义务采取行动
we have a duty to take action.
你个傻♥逼♥
idiot.
华盛顿纪念碑克♥林♥顿♥纪念碑
今晚：总统辩论
明天：副总统“你妈妈很肥”辩论
Morbo将介绍今晚的候选人
Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates.
弱比1号♥
puny human number one,
弱比2号♥
puny human number two,
以及我的挚友,理查德·尼克松
and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
你好，Morbo，你家人也好吗？
hello, Morbo.how's the family?
人丁兴旺，还好战
belligerent and numerous.
很好
good man.
尼克松支持战争优先和家庭优先
Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
好极了，先是偷了我的身体，现在又乱碰我的东西
great. first he steals my body, now he's touching my stuff.
来，我们需要找个方法和他谈谈
come on. we've got to find some way to talk to him.
Morbo需要你们回答以下问题
Morbo demands an answer to the following question:
“如果你看见一个小朋友手里有好吃的糖”
"if you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child
“你会抢过来吃吗？”
would you seize and consume it?"
难以想象！
unthinkable!
想不会想！
i wouldn't think of it!
你呢，尼克松先生？
what about you, Mr. Nixon?
我提醒你，你现在处于真♥相♥监控器范围
注：水门事件就是尼克松派人在民♥主♥党总部安装窃听设备
i remind you, you are under a truth-o-scope.
好吧…
uh, well, uh...
这个问题很含糊
the question is-is vague.
你没有说什么样的糖
you don't say what kind of candy,
额，是否有人在看着…
uh, whether anyone is watching...
无论怎样，我都不会伤害小孩子
at any rate, i certainly wouldn't harm the child.
看好你的帽子和大衣
今晚你表现不错，先生
you scored big points tonight, sir.
你在说什么？他们都快把我活吞了
what are you talking about? they ate me alive out there.
是的，但你的身体一直在展示一个信息
yes, but your body stayed on message
那就是“快看我闪亮的新身体”
and that message is, "look at my shiny new body."
机器人就吃这套
the robots ate it up.
你脖子以下的那部分可真是有号♥召力
you've got real charisma from the neck down.
有号♥召力的尼克松？
Nixon with charisma.
天啊！
my god!
我可以统治宇宙！
i can rule the universe!
把我的身体还给我，你这个恶贼！
give me my body back, you two-bit thief!
听着，你这个嗑药太多的共♥产♥主义者
now, look here, you drugged-out communist,
这身体是我花钱买♥♥的，我绝对不会把你身体还回去
i paid for this body and i'd no sooner return it
我宁可把我的小可卡犬给你
than i would my little cocker spaniel dog, checkers.
闭嘴！TMD！
shut up, damn it!
求求了，尼克松先生
please, Mr. Nixon
我们请求你展现一下道德感
we're appealing to your sense of decency.
太棒了！
very good!
说真的，我永远不会把这身体还你
seriously, though, i'm never giving back this body.
现在，滚吧，否则我让柬埔寨人揍你！
now, beat it, before i get cambodian on your asses!
第60届总统
没有希望了
it's hopeless.
我们最好用我的脑袋换回5美分押金
we might as well turn in my head for the five-cent deposit.
不行
no way.
我不能把我最好的朋友送去做回收利用
i'm not letting my best friend get recycled--
5美分不行，500美分也不行
not for five cents, not for 500 cents.
Leela，我有个计划
Leela, i've got a plan.
床垫污渍
我有个更好的
i've got a better plan.
水门酒店
尼克松为什么会住水门酒店？
注：应该就是水门事件的水门大厦，当时是民♥主♥党总部
why would Nixon stay at the watergate?
如果你以前来过，他们会给你打折
注：讽刺水门事件
they give you a discount if you've been here before.
继续，我们就在你后面
keep going. we're right behind you.
哇，哇呀，开间房♥吧，你们俩
whoa, mama. get a room, you two.
我们就在房♥间里！
we're in a room!
那么就减减肥吧
well, then, lose some weight.
哦，耶，你们这群女权真懂聚会啊
oh, yeah, you women's libbers really know how to party.
嘘，我来了
psst, there i am.
嘿，Betty Friedan