飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E13

Part 2 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

no, no, i-i was just picking my nose.
他在抠鼻子！揍他！
he's picking his nose! get him!
吃霸王餐嗯？
the old dine-and-dash, eh?
我爸爸以前也是开餐厅就是因为你们这样的小流氓
my daddy owned a restaurant, and it's punks like you
他才没开成连锁店
that kept him from going regional.
这就是为什么我当了警♥察♥
that's why i became a cop.
现在是复仇时间哦耶！
now it's payback time. aw, yeah.
请不要打我我很脆弱！
please don't hit me-- i'm brittle!
嘿等一下我有个好办法
hey, wait a second.
听听这个聪明的机器人的主意吧
i've got the perfect solution. listen to the smart robot.
我喜欢做菜 Elzar喜欢别人拍他马屁对吗？
i love cooking, and Elzar's ass loves getting kissed, right?
没错
no question.
那不如我到你的餐厅打工还债？
so, how about i work part-time at the restaurant to pay off our debt?
我不知道
i don't know.
我通常都是雇那些没那么难相处的人
i usually hire people who are a little less unbearable.
Bender可是个模范员工
oh, Bender's a model employee.
他特别有礼貌
he's so polite.
工作勤奋
and hardworking.
大家都喜欢他
he's made of candy.
好吧那让他试试吧
okay, fine, i'll give it a shot.
太好啦！
hot diggity!
你的鼻子最好保持干净
you better keep your nose clean.
这好办我压根就没有那该死的东西
that'll be easy. i never wear the damn thing.
又到了我宝贵的10点会议时间了
ah, time for my precious 10:00 a.m. meeting.
Leela跑哪去了？
where in legoland is Leela?
我在这我一个人过的非常好谢谢
i'm here, and i'm getting along just fine, thank you.
今天上班的路比平常远了一些
my walk to work just took a little longer today than usual.
不知道为什么 Nibbler带我去了趟动物园
Nibbler took me through the zoo for some reason.
Leela 请人帮点小忙没什么丢人的
Leela, a little help is nothing to be embarrassed about.
比如或许我可以帮你化妆
like, maybe i could do your makeup.
我不需要帮助
i don't need help.
告诉你今天的妆全是我自己化的
for your information, i did this all by myself.
你看起来真漂亮！
you look beautiful!
顺便说一句我最喜欢的艺术家是毕加索
incidentally, my favorite artist is picasso.
好了我要去餐厅打工了
well, i'm off to work at the restaurant.
我不在的时候你们谁来替我的工作
one of you will have to fill in for me while i'm gone.
不如我造个东西来接替你
better yet, i'll build someone to fill in for you.
造个伽马动力的机械怪兽
some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster
要有像高速公路立交桥一样的机械手臂
with freeway on-ramps for arms
和一颗像煤炭一样黑的心
and a heart as black as coal.
好吧要是新来的做不好就打电♥话♥给我
well, if that new guy can't handle things, give me a call.
我用虹吸管清理完隔油池了
i'm done siphoning out the grease trap.
我想吃一块薄荷糖
i think i need a mint.
所以我接下来要做什么？
so, uh, what job do i move up to?
做糕点？调味？煮汤？
pastry chef? saucier? soup guy?
梆！
bam!
梆你个头！
yeah... bam yourself.
喂他们是谁？
hey, who are they?
我只能告诉你他们是贵宾
let's just say they're very good customers
提问到此为止
and i'm not answering any more questions.
他们是机器人黑♥手♥党♥吗？没错
are they the robot mafia? yes.
你叫这桌子？
you call this a table?
这也能算桌子？
you call this a table?
让我用这玩意儿砸别人我都嫌弃
i wouldn't hit a guy over the head with this table.
你听到没？
you hear that?
我们老大不喜欢
the don-bot don't like it.
我要夹死你！
i ought to clamp you!
真要让我夹你吗？
you want to be clamped?!
喔喔冷静点夹钳
whoa, whoa, calm down, clamps.
我们Dod老大喜欢背靠墙的座位
the boss, he likes a wall against which his back can be put against...
就像那边那个
such as like this there.
但是那张桌子已经...
but that table's already--
先生们让我来为你们收拾一下
ah, let me bus that for you gentlemen.
不我的意思是...
no. what i meant to do was--
我简直不敢相信！
i can't believe this.
少管闲事出去！
mind your own business and get out!
我喜欢这个家伙的大大咧咧
hmm, i like this guy's lack of style.
所以我最后给了这家伙
so's i finally give this guy
香料鼬
补货
一双水泥鞋他很喜欢
a pair of cement shoes, which he likes
比他之前的铅鞋轻多了
'cause they're lighter than his lead ones.
喂你算清楚了吗？
hey, you think this computes over here?
找给我的零钱呢？我可给了你100块
where's all my change? i gave you a 100.
不你给的50块
no, you gave me a 50.
没有你有
oh, no, i didn't. yeah, you did.
你想讹我们Dod老大的钱？
hey, you trying to steal from the don-bot?
我是想但是他不配合
i'm trying, but he's not making it easy.
你这家伙滚珠轴承负载量挺大的啊？
get a load of the ball bearings on this guy, huh?
我喜欢你小子
i like you, kid.
这个给你做小费
here's something for your trouble.
是现金
it's money.
哇谢谢！
wow, thanks.
嘿你赚了我50块
hey, you earned that 50 bucks.
明明是20块
you gave me a 20.
是吗？不好意思
i did? oh, i'm sorry.
我是想...等等
i meant-- hey, wait a minute.
我很欣赏你
i got a good feeling about you.
快说你想来我这儿当打手吗？
say, you want to work for me as a hired goon?
真的吗？
are you kidding?
我一直都想当打手
i've always wanted to break into gooning.
喂 Elzar 我不干了！
hey, Elzar, i quit!
好！
'kay!
我们要考验你你去送个东西
we're going to try you out with a little delivery job.
是这个...额...我们经营的地下彩票
it's for a, uh, private lottery that we run.
你们还做彩票生意啊？
wow! you guys run numbers?
是啊也没什么特别的你知道的就是一些0和1
well, nothing fancy-- you know, ones and zeros mostly.
把这个磁盘送到投♥注♥大厅
just take this disk over to the pool hall
交给“机械公牛”Sammy Gravano
and give it to Sammy "the mechanical bull" Gravano
小心条子
and watch out for the cops.
我妈妈以前也经常跟我说
that's just what my mom used to tell me.
小比塔利街集市
机油挺不错小家伙
that's some fine oil-ade, son.
我们机器人黑♥手♥党♥ 用得上你这样的人才
we could use a man like you in the robot mafia...
签名50美元
正好我也是黑♥手♥党♥的人
which i'm sort of in.
您过奖了好心的打手先生
you flatter me, kind goon
但我的程序设置我只能卖♥♥机油
but i'm only programmed to sell oil-ade
还有写倒过来的可爱字体
and write in cute backwards letters
像这个牌子上这样
like on the sign here.
啊！见鬼有条子！
aw, crap. the cops.
有什么可疑的事吗？
seen any suspicious activity?
没但在看今天的《多事狗》
nope, but check out today's "marmaduke."
不错
solid.
哎是Elzar餐厅的那个家伙
hey, it's that skel from Elzar's.
卧底行动进行中···
undercover pursuit in progress...
宝贝
baby.
抓到你了！
gotcha!
有什么问题吗警官？
what seems to be the problem, officers?
我超速了吗？
was i speeding?
先来个非法搜查了再说
we'll decide what you were doing after an illegal search.
没东西
he's clean.
闻起来也不错
smells nice, too.
比我还好闻？哦是啊
better than me? aw, yeah.
PAT投♥注♥大厅
欢迎有钱的新人
来自Bender先生的问候
courtesy of Mr. Bender.
干得漂亮 Bender
nice job, Bender.
测试通过
you passed the test.
想不想加入我夹钳和鼠标垫的...
you want to join me, Clamps and Joey Mousepad
额...明晚的社交活动
at our, uh, social club tomorrow night?
额我更想整一些违法犯罪活动
uh, i'd rather plan some felonies.
那我们在黑♥手♥党♥总部碰面
oh. then we should meet at our mafia crime headquarters.
时髦肉类市场