飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E19

Part 1 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

不能替代人际互动
冷冻女人
The Cryonic Woman
巨型太空机器人号♥ 这里是美国行星快车号♥飞船的Fry船长
giant space robot, this is captain Fry of the u.s.s. planet express ship.
我们为和平而来
we come in peace.
运气真差
tough luck!
我们消灭了玩具飞船
well, we destroyed the toy spaceship.
现在做什么？
now what are we going to do?
你看
hey, look!
真宇宙飞船的钥匙
the keys to the real spaceship.
你觉得我们可以吗？
do you think we should?
当然
yes, i do.
Leela 你看见飞船的钥匙了吗？
Leela, have you seen the keys to the spaceship?
宇宙1号♥太空飞行员
宇宙4307697号♥送货员
我一定是把它忘在飞船上了
uh, i must have left them on board.
哦好的什么？
oh, well-- i mean, what!
放心吧飞船飞不走的
relax, the ship's not going anywhere.
我用牢不可破的钻石系绳把它固定了
i anchored it with the unbreakable diamond tether.
哦不
oh, no.
这对Zoidberg来说不是什么好事
this isn't good for Zoidberg.
耶
yeah!
Fry 我在用我的屁♥股♥驾驶
hey, Fry... i'm steering with my ass.
这是我见过最牛的了
that's the best thing i ever saw.
真是棒极了
that was great!
而且没有人会怀疑
and no one suspects a thing.
我们知道错了
and that's how we learned our lesson.
你们这次做得太过了
you've gone too far this time.
你们三个都是
all three of you.
我做了什么？
what did i do?
你把钥匙忘在了点火开关上
you left the keys in the ignition.
看看这两个家伙
i mean, look at those two.
后果会怎么样不是很明显吗？
wasn't it obvious what would happen?
是啊 Leela
yeah, Leela.
我们对你真的非常失望
we're all very disappointed in you.
我应该把你们三个马上解雇
i should fire you three right now.
但我不是狠心的人
but i'm just not that cold-hearted.
你们都被开除了
you're all fired.
再见了朋友们我会想你们的
good-bye, friends. i'll miss you.
总算赶走他们了
good riddance to them.
现在Zoidberg是最受欢迎的人了
now Zoidberg is the popular one.
是啊我们去找Zoidberg聊聊天
yes, yes, let's all talk to Zoidberg.
嘿
hey--
Zoidberg…有什么新情况？
so, Zoidberg... what's new?
你们知道的
oh, you know--
我们要怎么挣钱？
what are we supposed to do for money?
我只有一张我经常吃的太妃糖的卡
all i've got is my frequent taffy eater's card...
我的第一缕胡须
my first mustache...
还有一张我和前女友的合照
and this picture of me and my old girlfriend
Michelle和这个滑雪教练只是她的朋友
Michelle, and that ski instructor she was just friends with.
打搅了
pardon me, brother.
愿意为你的反抢劫基金捐款吗？
care to donate to the anti-mugging you fund?
我们还不至于乞讨 Bender
we don't need to beg, Bender.
看在上帝的份上我们不是退役老兵
for god's sake, we're not veterans.
好吧你有什么建议？
well, what do you suggest?
光天化日之下骑着大象抢劫诺克斯堡吗？
注：诺克斯堡位于肯塔基州是美国国家黄金储藏地
a daring daylight robbery of fort knox on elephant back?
这是我听过最愚蠢的主意了
that's the dumbest thing i ever heard.
不我们可以去找工作
no, we can get jobs.
我们刚刚还有工作的
but we just had jobs.
幸运的是我还保留着我们以前的职业芯片
fortunately, i still have our old career chips.
我们的什么？
our what?
职业芯片
career chips.
你还记得吗
you remember--
他们给你分配了你最擅长的工作
they assign you the job you're best at.
我想给你注入芯片可你逃跑了
i tried to give you one and you ran away?
我们就是这样认识的
it's how we met?
后来发生了什么？
and then what happened?
把手伸给我
just give me your hand.
真像个孩子
baby.
应用低温技术
公♥司♥
“似乎在正常工作”
我想重新申请我过去的工作
i'd like to reapply for my old job.
为解冻者提供咨♥询♥和分配工作
counseling defrostees and assigning them careers.
我一直希望你能回来
oh, i was hoping you would come back.
我甚至还留着你对周一表达厌恶之情的黑猩猩海报
i even saved your poster of a chimp expressing your distaste for mondays.
我讨厌
周一
周一的猴子为周末而活先生
monday monkey lives for the weekend, sir.
把手放在扫描仪下
just put your hand under the scanner
我就可以验证你的职业芯片了
so i can verify your career chip.
Calcutta 出问题了
Calcutta, we have a problem.
职业：送货员
送货员？
delivery boy?
我一定是把芯片搞错了
i must have mixed up the chips.
这是个简单的…
it's a simple--
职业：冷冻人顾问
这才是我们的冷冻人顾问
oh, here's our cryogenic counselor.
你喜欢周一吗？还行吧
do you like mondays? they're okay.
那我们要重新装饰你的办公室了
then we'll have to redecorate your office.
这里的工作让人疯狂
how do you feel about it
而且是没有必要的你觉得怎么样？
helping to be crazy to work here but not being necessary?
嘿来看看我的吧
hey! let's see what it says about me.
职业：电锯杂耍者
欢迎加入先生
welcome aboard, sir.
记住当门打开的时候要说
remember, when the tube opens, say
欢迎来到未来世界
"welcome to the world of tomorrow!"
我曾被冷冻过
hey, i was frozen.
我想我知道人们醒来的时候想听什么
i think i know what people want to hear when they first wake up.
洗手间在那边
bathroom's that way.
趁你在检测台上说说你为什么会来未来世界
so, while you're on the probulator, tell me what brings you to the future.
我想见见莎士比亚
oh, well, i wanted to meet Shakespeare
我以为时间是循环的
and i figured that time was cyclical.
并不是是直线的
nope, straight line.
检测器好了
ah! the probulator's done.
不算太坏
oh, that wasn't so bad.
等等还没开始呢
oh, wait, it hasn't started yet.
好了马上开始了
okay, it's about to start.
欢迎来到未来人类奴隶
welcome to the future, human slave.
放松朋友
ah, relax, chum.
我不是真的巨蝇
i'm not really a giant fly.
我是可怕的机器人
i'm a horrible robot!
杀光全人类
kill all humans!
上帝啊
dear god!
他心脏病犯了
he's having a heart attack!
也许未来可以有法子治好他
they'll probably find a cure for that in the future.
我们现在就能治好
we have a cure for it now!
好吧那你不会介意我戴上这个吧
oh, good, then you won't mind if i use this.
应用低温技术公♥司♥
没有什么比小憩一下更有力量了
nothing like a power nap.
苍蝇苍蝇和大猩猩
flies, flies and gorillas!
探测器
探测器
保持美丽娃娃脸
stay beautiful, dollface.
那个检测器真是懂得如何取悦男人
ooh, that probulator sure knows how to please a man.
中饭吃什么？
so, what's for lunch?
我定了一个披萨
i ordered a pizza.
送披萨给…
pizza delivery for...
I.C. Wiener.
笑够了吧
yeah, very funny.
赶紧付钱12.95美元
now cough up the $12.95.
抱歉如果半小时内没送到就是免费
sorry, but if it's not here in half an hour, it's free.
才23分钟
it's only been 23 minutes.
我的表显示是33分钟
well, uh, i've got 33 minutes.
只有23分钟你这个愚蠢的煎饼果子
it's only been 23 minutes, you dumb cannoli.
如果你要找麻烦？
you got a problem?
我们出去单挑
we can take it outside.
好吧我和盒子打一架我想我能搞定
okay, i'll fight the box. i think i can take him.