飞出个未来（1999）
Futurama
第二季
剧集 | 飞出个未来（1999） | 导航列表
飞出个未来（1999）
Futurama S02E05
Part 2
Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.
who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?
看 户外角斗场
look, outdoor theater.
我们快去买♥♥票吧 快去吧
let's get tickets.oh, let's do.
不 这是螯钳决斗仪式
no, it's the ceremony of claw plock
我的族人在这里
where my species
为了荣誉战斗至死
fight to the death over matters of honor.
也为了填字游戏里缩写词是否算数战斗至死
注：scrabble即英语填字游戏，就是按提示横纵填英文单词的那种游戏
also whether abbreviations count in scrabble.
开玩笑的啦
they don't.
我来这里可不是为了
i didn't come here
看两个男人之间的运动
to see any activity involving two guys.
你们的人在哪里进行色情秀
where do you people do your erotic display?
和你们一样
same place as your species...
海滩上
the beach.
男更衣室
我看起来怎么样
how do i look?
像刚从鲸鱼嘴里吐出来的
like whale barf.
正合我意
then the illusion is complete.
嘿 我估计这些家伙
hey, i wonder if these guys are here
也是来看色情秀的
to watch the erotic display, too.
很好 这会让我与众不同
perfect. this ought to make me stand out.
看看他们多滑稽
look how ridiculous they look.
拜托 他和你们这些
please, he's no different
其他有机生命没什么两样
from the rest of you organisms
都是相互喷射DNA来制♥造♥婴儿
shooting dna at each other to make babies.
我觉得这种方式充满了攻击性
i find it offensive.
休想用你的“果酱”碰我的卵子
keep your jelly away from my eggs.
没兴趣
so not interested.
一路走来我听过这话N次了
hmm! i've heard that line before.
噢 该怎么办呢
oh, what's the point?
为什么Zoidberg还是孤身一人
why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
因为他是个失败者，那就是原因
'cause he's a loser, that's why.
他就是Fry的龙虾版
he's the lobster equivalent of Fry.
嘿 我什么时候都能找到心仪的女生
hey, i can get any girl i want, anytime i want.
我只是太忙了
i'm just too busy.
Edna
Edna 是我 Zoidberg
Edna, it's me, Zoidberg.
记得吗 我们是高中同学
remember? from high school?
你以前常笑话我
you used to laugh at me
脸上总是有藤壶
because my face was covered with barnacles?
Zoidberg?
我不知道你回来了
well, i didn't know you were back in town.
我听说你离开这里，成为了一位富有的医生
i heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
我为别人做过几次安乐死
i've performed a few mercy killings.
那么 我想既然我在这里
so, as long as i'm in town
也许我们
i was wondering if maybe...
呃 我
oh, gee... yeah, i'm...
最近事比较多
just going through a lot of things right now
而且 你看 Zoidberg
and... look, Zoidberg
我比其他雌性有更多的卵子
i carry more eggs than any other female
我觉得为了我们种族的利益
and i... owe it to our race
我得去找一个充满雄性“果酱”的配偶
to pick a mate who's stuffed with male jelly.
比如一个摇滚明星
maybe a rock star.
或者一个医生
or maybe a doctor.
对不起，Zoidberg
i'm sorry, Zoidberg
你只是个典型的次等雄性
you're just an inferior male specimen.
不过很高兴见到你
nice seeing you again.
没有人愿意和我交♥配♥
no one will ever want to mate with me.
和只有一双弱小钳子的我
not with a puny claw like this.
看见其他家伙了吗
did you see those other guys?
他们就像是两个大钳子上长了个身体
they look like giant claws with bodies attached.
至少你闻起来没有他们那么糟糕
at least you didn't smell as bad as them.
你说的没错
you're right!
我的臭味腺太弱了 闻闻
my stink gland is weak. smell.
听着 医生 如果你想把雌性搞到手
listen, doc, if you want to score
你就得假装你爱上她了
you've got to fake like you're in love.
看着她的眼睛开始哭泣 说
just look her in the eye, start crying and say
“我从来没有这样快乐过”
"i've never been so happy."
要是有家伙这么对我 我会察觉到的
oh... if a guy ever did that to me, i'd know it.
等等
wait a second.
他们都这么骗了我
they've all been doing that to me.
就连Sean也是
even Sean.
这个“爱”有点意思
hmm... this "love"intrigues me.
快教我几手
teach me to fake it.
好 假设你在约会
okay, you're on a date.
你第一件事会做什么
what's the first thing you do?
首次约会:
-香槟
-鲜花
-一堆废话
请求她和我交♥配♥
ask her to mate with me.
不 告诉她 她很特别
no. tell her she's special.
但她并不特别
but she's not.
她无非就是个有最多卵子的雌性
she's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
那好 这么告诉她 然后呢
well, tell her that, and then...
然后交♥配♥
then mating.
不 你要营造一些浪漫的氛围
no, make up some feelings
然后告诉她
and tell her you have them.
是吗？
yes?
渴望交♥配♥算不算一种感觉
is desire to mate a feeling?
你根本都没在好好听
oh, you're not even trying.
太麻烦了 又是鲜花又是浪漫
it's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance
还要加上层层谎言
and the lies upon lies...
好吧 好吧 别担心
okay, okay, don't worry.
爱情大♥师♥的羽翼会罩着你的
the love-meister will take you under his wing.
什么 现在又扯进来一只鸟
what, now there's a bird involved?
好了 去吧
okay, go ahead.
什么鬼 Zoidberg医生
what the..? Dr. Zoidberg?
你的交♥配♥演出失败了
your mating display failed.
干嘛还来找我
why are you trying to talk to me?
我不知道
i have no idea.
你只是想聊聊
you just want to talk.
和求偶无关
it has nothing to do with mating.
我只是想聊聊
i just want to talk.
和求偶无关
it has nothing to do with mating.
Fry，这太扯了
Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Zoidberg医生 这很扯 但没事
Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense... but okay.
先夸夸她
start with a compliment.
告诉她她很苗条
tell her she looks thin.
你看起来好像营养不良
you seem malnourished.
你是不是体内有寄生虫
are you suffering from internal parasites?
是啊 谢谢你的关心
why, yes. thanks for noticing.
现在问她今天过得怎么样
now ask her how her day was.
我为什么要知道
why would i want to know?
你不想知道 但还是要问
you wouldn't. ask anyway.
今天过得怎样
how was your day?
我早上起床 吃了一片面包
well, first, i got up and had a piece of toast
然后刷牙
then i brushed my teeth
之后我去商店买♥♥了些鱼 再然后……
then i went to the store to buy some fish, then i...
Fry 看看你的建议
Fry, look what you did.
她现在说个不停了
she won't shut up.
这很正常
that's normal.
现在时不时点点头 然后说哦哦
just nod your head and say,"uh-huh."
哦哦哦
uh-huh, uh-huh.
然后你朝我窗户扔了一只章鱼
and then you threw an octopus at my window.
你知道吗 Zoidberg 可能有点神奇不过你这样说话
you know, Zoidberg, it's crazy, but when you talk this way
让你作为雄性的明显的缺陷
your obvious deficiencies as a male seem...
变得不明显了
less obvious.
你的基因看起来也不再那么低劣了
your genes seem less detrimental.
你甚至闻起来也更臭了
you even stink more.
我该现在要求和她交♥配♥吗
do i ask her to mate now?
第三次约会再提
third date.
红色灵长目
为了热爱土地和食物的你
我退还了他的人工心脏
so i returned his artificial heart
从那时起
飞出个未来（1999）
Futurama
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