飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E18

Part 3 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

也就是你你个混♥蛋♥
which is you, you jerk.
你们以为那是我？
ye think me be he?
没错
si!
不不是我
nee. i mean, no.
许多年前我在北极观鸟的时候被下了诅咒
i was given the curse many a year ago while on a bird-watching trip to the arctic.
我被一个邪恶的机动雪橇袭击了
i was attacked by a vicious motorized sled.
当地人称它为可憎的雪地车
the natives called it...the abominable snowmobile.
是的这是真的
yes, it's true.
我撞了那个观鸟的混♥蛋♥还有其他一百个人
i ran over that bird-watching jerk and a hundred others
甚至包括我在芳香疗法学校最好的朋友
even my best friend from aromatherapy school.
我曾经有一个最好的朋友
i once had a best friend
他喜欢跟我一起闻东西
who liked to smell things with me.
唉我恐怕不是那个初代的狼车
alas! i'm afraid i'm not the original were-car.
我在参加一个著名机器人演员的学习附加课程时受到了诅咒
i received the curse while taking a learning annex class from a famous robot actor.
你们知道他就是...
you know him as...
Calculon!
银薄粉饼
铁薄粉饼
命运是最残酷的
oh, fate most cruel!
但愿我的演技能为我提供一把剑
would that my boundless acting skills might avail me a sword
以斩断这可恶的诅咒
with which to slay this wretched curse.
我们再狠揍他一顿
let's kick him some more!
不等等听我解释
no, wait, let me explain.
这一切都是从一千年前那个命中注定的夜晚开始
it all began one fateful night a thousand years ago.
你有一千岁了？
you're 1,000 years old?
你的简历上写着你27岁
your bio says you're 27.
骗人的我每隔几十年就会改变自己的身份外表
注：这可能是致敬1959年版《阴阳魔界》S01E24《至死方休》
lies! i change my identity and upgrade my appearance
以避免被人怀疑
every few decades to avoid suspicion.
我曾是历史上有名的机器人演员
i was all of history's great acting robots:
表演处理器0.8 模仿者 David Duchovny
acting unit 0.8, thespomat, David Duchovny.
你到底是不是初代狼车？
look, are you the original were-car or not?
并不是但你们已经非常接近目标了
no, but you are nearing the end of your search
我是被初代狼车袭击的
for, you see, i was attacked by the original were-car.
告诉我们他的名字 “麦克白屁♥股♥”
注：“Macbutt”是Macbeth（麦克白）+butt（屁♥股♥）
give us a name, Macbutt!
那是2019年
the year was 2019
而我只是一个在汽车研究实验室
and i was just a lowly robot arm
工作的卑微的机器人手臂
working in an automotive research lab.
我当时正在研究“撒旦项目”
i was working on project satan
是一种野蛮的智能军用车辆
a savage, intelligent military vehicle
由世界上最邪恶的汽车的
built from the most evil parts
最邪恶的部件制♥造♥而成
of the most evil cars in all the world--
方向盘来自希♥特♥勒♥的汽车
the steering wheel from hitler's staff car
左转向灯来自查尔斯·曼森的大众牌汽车
注：Charles Manson为美国著名邪教教主、连续杀人狂
the left turn signal from Charles Manson's vw
还有挡风玻璃雨刷
the windshield wipers
来自霹雳游侠的
from that car that played knight rider.
霹雳游侠并不邪恶
knight rider wasn't evil.
他的雨刷邪恶
his windshield wipers were.
只是电视剧里没演
it didn't come up much in the show, though.
总之...只有在将“撒旦项目”付诸实施后
anyway... only after bringing project satan to life
他们才发现自己犯了一个可怕的错误
did they discover they had made a horrible mistake.
因为你看...它是纯粹的邪恶
for you see...it was pure evil.
那“撒旦项目”后来怎么样了？
so what happened to project satan?
它要么在巴黎要么更可能
it's either in paris, or, much more likely...
克莱斯勒汽车
反-
还在废弃的汽车实验室里
still in the abandoned automotive lab.
你们引开狼车
you guys distract the were-car
我就用这个银土豆堵住它的排气管这就能把它干掉
and i'll kill it by plugging its exhaust pipe with this silver potato.
在那里
psst! there it is.
它看起来并不快乐
it looks so unhappy.
抱歉请问你是“撒旦项目”吗？
excuse me, are you project satan?
不用怕
don't be afraid.
我们知道你是什么
we know what you are.
你们知道？
you do?
你希望我们把你从痛苦中解救出来吗？
would you like us to... put you out of your misery?
痛苦什么痛苦？
misery, what misery?
我喜欢杀人
i love killing people--
碾着他们直到他们的内脏像芥末酱一样喷出来
squishing them till their organs squirt out like chunky mustard.
每个人都喜欢杀人
look, everyone loves killing people
但是我不想伤害我的朋友
but i don't want to hurt my friends.
不已经午夜了
oh, no! it's midnight!
这开始感觉很好了
hey, this is starting to feel pretty good.
Fry 引开他
Fry, distract him!
“撒旦项目” 看这边
hey, project satan, over here!
我是一个失明的旅人
i'm a blind pedestrian!
20分
20 points!
不
oh no!
它没有排气管
there's no exhaust pipe.
没错多亏了小Ed Begley的电动马达
注：Ed Begley为美国电影演员，曾出演《十二怒汉》
that's right, thanks to Ed Begley, jr.'s electric motor
这是有史以来最邪恶的推进系统
the most evil propulsion system ever conceived!
想干掉哪个就干掉哪个
take whichever one you want.
我觉得自己就像糖果店里的小汽车
oh, boy, i feel like a car in a candy store.
太好了他选择了我
yes! he chose me.
他要杀我
he's trying to kill me.
Leela 我好开心
Leela, i'm so happy.
谢谢你 Bender
oh, thanks, Bender.
太紧了太紧了
hey, too tight, too tight!
碰撞测试区
危险：
倾斜路面
不不不不
no! no! no! no!
Bender 你被治好了
Bender, you're cured!
但是Fry怎么样了？
but what happened to Fry?
我一定把他给杀了
i must have killed him.
他是我最好的朋友而我却把他给杀了
he was my best friend, and i killed him.
我的内心从未如此空虚
i never felt so empty inside.
Bender 我还活着
Bender, i'm alive!
你一点也没有伤害到我
you didn't hurt me at all
但我知道你是想杀我的这个最重要
but i know you wanted to, and that's what matters.
敬你
here's to you.
这是我最后一瓶啤酒你这个混♥蛋♥
hey, that's my last beer, you bastard!
我要杀了你
i'll kill you!
我也要杀了你兄弟
i'll kill you, too, buddy.
我也要杀了你
i'll kill you, too.
嘿！
hey!