飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E04

Part 2 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

when everyone you know died a thousand years ago?
我是地球上最孤独的人
i'm the loneliest person on earth.
嘿，Leela
hey, Leela
嗨，给点同情心如何？
how about a little sympathy here, huh?
怎么回事？
yoiks. what was that about?
她是一个孤儿
fluh. she's an orphan.
已知宇宙中她的族人只有她一个
yes, and the only one of her species in all the known universe.
多么孤独的人生啊
what a lonely life.
天呐可怜的Leela
my god. poor Leela.
嘿朋友
hey, buddy.
听说你需要振作
heard you needed cheering up.
来吧老Bender让你开心开心
well, old Bender will make you laugh.
♪看过来看♪
♪look at me, look♪
♪哔-嗒-啪-啵，嘀-嗒-啪-啵...♪
♪be-da-bah-boo, de-da-be-bah-boom...♪
嘿，伙计，我已经尽力表演了
aw, man, i got to work on my act.
我觉得自己像一只老鼠
i feel like a rat.
我像猪一样抱怨
here i am whining like a pig
而Leela像青蛙一样孤独
while all along, Leela was as lonely as a frog.
我真想踢自己
i could kick myself.
我替你
i'll do it for you.
谢谢
thanks.
你应该为自己感到羞愧, Fry
you should be ashamed of yourself, Fry.
你肯定是瞎了眼
you'd have to be blind not to notice
才没注意到 Leela是个独眼人
that Leela's a cyclops.
Fry在那里教授
Fry's over there, mon.
圣诞节前夜
Xmas eve--
又是什么都没做的无聊的一天
another pointless day where i accomplish nothing.
节日是大多数人欢庆的时候
the holiday season is a time of celebration for most
但是同时也该想想
but it is also a time to remember
那些遭遇不幸的可怜人
the tragic suffering of the less fortunate.
大多数人并不知道苦难的意义
earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.
前些日子我访问了
earlier today, i visited a shelter
一个贫困机器人庇护所
for down-and-out robots--
无家可归的机器人
homeless robots, too poor to afford
甚至买♥♥不起供他们电路用的基本酒精
even the basic alcohol they need to fuel their circuits.
还有比这更悲惨的吗？
is there anything sadder?
不仅是只有这几个倒霉蛋
only drowning puppies
他们的数目还会更多
and there would have to be a lot of them.
你去哪，Bender?
where you going, Bender?
去为无家可归的机器人募捐一个酒精作坊
to volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
行了吧
yeah, right.
说得好像你曾做过不少善事似的
as if you ever did anything charitable.
我很慷慨的
i'm very generous.
我那次献血怎么样？
what about that time i gave blood?
谁的血？
whose blood?
某个伙计的
some guy's.
我得做点什么表达下我对Leela的歉意
i've got to do something to show Leela how sorry i am.
那有什么难的？
so what's the problem?
只要蹲下来举起你的爪子
simply get down on your claws
跳一个道歉舞
and do the apology dance.
就是左左右...等等！
so it's left, left, right... wait!
我有个更好的主意
i have a better idea.
我要出去给她找个完美的圣诞节礼物
i'll go out and get her the perfect Xmas present--
非常好的东西这样她就不会再不开心了
something so great, she'll never want to be unhappy again.
日落前要回来伙计
just be back by sundown, mon.
到时见我喜欢砍价
we'll see. i like to haggle.
圣诞节前夜你不能待在外面
you can't stay out on Xmas eve.
你会被杀的！
you'll be killed.
你说什么？
say what?
天呐！
good lord!
他不知道关于圣诞老人的事
he doesn't know about Santa Claus.
我知道圣诞老人
i know about Santa Claus.
2801年，友谊机器人公♥司♥
back in 2801,the friendly robot company
制♥造♥了一个机器圣诞老人
built a robotic Santa to determine
来判断谁是好人谁是恶人
who'd been naughty and who'd been nice
并据此来送礼物
and distribute presents accordingly
但有些地方出了差错
but something went wrong.
哇 2801年
wow, 2801.
不管怎样
anyway...
等等你个傻子！
wait, you fool!
由于程序错误
due to a programming error
圣诞老人的判断标准被设的太高了
Santa's standards were set too high
他把所有人都判断为恶人
and he invariably judges everyone to be naughty.
如果他在天黑后抓到你
if he catches you after dark
他就会砍掉你的脑袋
he'll chop off your head
然后从他可怕的袋子里拿出玩具
and stuff your neck full of toys
塞满你的脖子
from his sack of horrors.
很高兴见到你
nice meeting you.
怜悯之芯
酒精作坊
欢迎你兄弟
welcome, brother.
愿节日的祝福降临于你
may the blessings of the season be upon you.
好的阿门
yeah, yeah, amen.
我就是我听过的懒惰的、无家可归的游民之一
listen,i'm one of those lazy,homeless bums i've been hearing about.
请问哪里可以领到免费的酒？
could you point me to the free booze?
哦好的
oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
外星霸王
和泰勒
有一个我很喜欢的女孩
there's this girl who i really like
但是她觉得我很混♥蛋♥
but she thinks i'm a jerk.
你能帮帮我吗？
can you help me?
可以在美食街有一个自杀亭
yeah, there's a suicide booth in the food court--
每年的这个时候总会排长队
though there's a line this time of year.
不我想给她个礼物
no, i need to get her a gift
而且要在日落前拿到
and i need it before sundown.
送传统的礼物肯定不会出错的
well, you can't go wrong with something traditional
一把针对圣诞老人的火箭炮
a surface-to-Santa rocket launcher.
附赠3枚寻欢型导弹
it comes with three jolly-seeking missiles.
真有趣
that's funny.
小心点先生
careful, sir.
酒精存放处
哦不错
oh, yeah.
你们这些肮脏的流浪汉还真知道如何过日子
you filthy hobos sure know how to live.
嘿老大
hey, chief
有人正偷你那个装满废物的手帕
someone's stealing your handkerchief full of crap.
打扰了先生
excuse me, sir.
能再给我点酒吗？
might i have a sip of booze?
抱歉，Tinny Tim
i'm sorry, Tinny Tim.
我们今晚早早就喝光了
seems we ran out early tonight.
我明白了
i understand.
天呐可怜的孩子
my god, that poor kid.
你这是最后一家还在营业的商店
you're the last store open.
乔的方舟宠物店
先前是诺亚方舟鞋店
我想为我的朋友Leela买♥♥些东西
i need something for my friend Leela.
给我你这最好的动物
just give me your best animal.
最好的？这是一种主观印象
best? well, that's a matter of opinion.
我个人喜欢这只电蜗牛
i personally like the electric snail.
那是只愚蠢的动物
that's a stupid animal.
你真蠢
you're stupid.
我说了我想要最好的
i said i want the best one.
哪个更贵一些？鹦鹉还是这些臭蜥蜴？
now which costs more--the parrot or the stink lizard?
蜥蜴每只一美元
the lizards are a buck each.
鹦鹉是500美元
the parrot is $500.
真是一只该死的好鹦鹉
that's a hell of a good parrot.
不过我能以同样的价格买♥♥500只蜥蜴
although, i could get 500 lizards for the same price.
女孩喜欢成群的蜥蜴对吗？
girls like swarms of lizards, right?
先生本店2分钟后关门
sir, the store is closingin two minutes.
好吧我要500只蜥蜴
okay, okay. i'll take the 500 lizards.
不等等
no, wait.
是
yes.
不是
no. yes.
是是
yes. yes.
就鹦鹉了
the parrot.