飞出个未来（1999）
Futurama
第二季
剧集 | 飞出个未来（1999） | 导航列表
飞出个未来（1999）
Futurama S02E08
Part 2
Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.
我不参加了
count me out.
不 你一定要去
no, you've got to do it.
我不管它有多危险
i don't care how suicidal it is.
嘿 为什么每次我要做
hey, how come when i want
那些会害死我的趣事时你都反对
to do fun stuff that will kill me, you're against it?
这可比吃大理石比赛重要多了 Fry
this is more important than that marble-eating contest, Fry.
这事关尊严
it's about pride.
给你讲个我儿时的故事
let me tell you a story from my childhood.
又要讲孤儿武馆的故事了
ah, again with the orphanarium.
我在孤儿武馆的时候
when i was growing up at the orphanarium,
总是被人欺负
i got picked on a lot.
我唯一的发泄手段就是大角星功夫
my only outlet was octouran kung fu.
非常好
excellent.
Bill、Keith你们去参加青年锦标赛
Bill, Keith, you will go to junior championships.
Bill 等Keith醒来后向他道贺
Bill, congratulate Keith when he regains consciousness.
但是 Funog大♥师♥ 我闭一只眼睛都能打败这些笨蛋
but Master Funog, i can beat these dorks with one eye closed.
可能吧 但这不只是打败对手的问题
perhaps, but there is more to winning than beating your opponent.
你缺乏武士的意志
you lack the will of a warrior.
什么意思 你看
what do you mean? watch this.
没有女孩会有武士的意志
no girl has the will of a warrior.
你有家庭主妇的意志
you have the will of a housewife
顶多有女教师的意志
or at best, the schoolmarm.
够了 我现在就要把你打倒
that's it. i'll take you on right now.
很好 但你看到了我有武士意志
very well, but you see, i have the will of the warrior.
所以战斗实际上已经结束了
therefore, the battle is already over.
胜利者是谁？是我！哈哈
the winner? me. ha, ha!
再比 你还是输了
rematch? you lose again.
够了吗 我想够了吧
had enough? i thought so.
我失去了自己成为冠军的机会
i lost my chance to be a champion.
我不会让你白白丢掉你的机会
i won't let you throw away yours.
Leela说得对
Leela is right.
我不想成为她那样的失败者
i don't want to end up a loser like her.
我还是要参加
count me back in.
看看你都会些什么
let's see what you got.
摸脚尖
touch your toes.
还是……够……不到
still... can't... reach.
咱们开始准备战斗吧
let's commence preparations for rumbling!
机器人狂热27
（锈油）
（防锈）
（光泽保护剂）
女士们 先生们 情侣们
ladies and gentlemen and smizmars
欢迎观看今晚的重头戏
welcome to tonight's main event.
这边是是来自老妈友好机器人工厂
in this corner, from mom's friendly robot factory
美洲中部墨西哥的-Bender
in america's heartland, mexico- Bender!
掌 声
另一边是来自未知区域和未知零件制♥造♥的
and, in this corner, from and made of parts unknown,
切割清道夫
the clear-cutter.
BENDER必胜
Bender必胜
Bender rules!
我给你准备了一顶正宗的Bender帽子
i got you an official Bender hat.
哇 谢了 Hermes
wow! thanks, Hermes.
嘿 别这样
i... hey, cut that out!
你打不到你看不到的东西
you can't hit what you can't see.
起来 Bender
get up, Bender.
你不能每次背上挨了一斧子或脸上被钻了个洞就退出
you can't quit every time you get an ax in the back or a drill through your face.
别再挠你斧眼了 给我站起来
now, quit scratching your ax hole and get out there.
获胜者是...Bender!
and the winner is...Bender!
干得不错 小伙子
nice work out there, kid.
只限机器
斗士使用
我觉得他可能死了
you know, i think he might be dead.
我捡了条命
i took a life!
老板好 哟 帅哥
hi, boss. yo, dude.
嘿 他没死 怎么回事
hey! he's not dead. what's up with that?
什么 你没读手册吗
what, you didn't read the pamphlet?
机器人终极搏击是个骗局 孩子 比赛是被♥操♥纵的
ultimate robot fighting's a scam, kid. it's rigged.
这是个秘密 记着就行了
it's a secret, so keep it under your head...
最受欢迎的机器人总是会赢
but the most popular robot always wins.
你意思是我不是一个伟大的战士
you mean i'm not a great fighter?
我赢是因为我人气高
i just won 'cause i'm popular?
没错
bingo.
我人气高耶
woo-hoo! i'm popular!
事实上 你不仅人气高
in fact, you're more than popular.
你还是最接地气最平民化的
you're pure lowest common denominator.
加油 Bender 加油 Bender
go, Bender. go, Bender. go, Bender.
有请 Bender
presenting... Bender
一个罪犯
the offender.
我曾是犯人 我想重新做人 要回我的孩子
i'm just an ex-con trying to go straight and get my kids back.
我爱你 Bender.
i love you, Bender.
对阵 亿万富翁机器人
Versus, Billionaire-Bot!
非常穷
对阵 异乡人
versus the foreigner.
我来自异国他乡 我有自己的习俗
i'm not from here. i have my own customs.
看看我疯狂的护照
look at my crazy passport.
对阵 老烟枪
versus the chain smoker.
我嗜烟如命 如果赢了比赛
i love smoking, and after i win the fight
我就去你们最喜欢的餐厅
i'm headed straight to your favorite restaurant.
你们知道吗 我还是终极机器情人
you know, i'm also an ultimate robot lover.
Bender 你迟到了三小时
Bender, you're three hours late.
罪犯BENDER
你现在不能放弃训练
you can't give up on your training now
咱们都花了很多心血
after both of us worked so hard.
你说“我们”是什么意思
what do you mean, "we"?
我说的是咱们
i said "us."
嘿 罪犯Bender不需要你
hey, Bender the offender doesn't need you.
罪犯Bender不需要任何人
Bender the offender doesn't need anybody.
那我们呢 罪犯先生
what about us, Mr. the Offender?
我当然需要美女了
well, obviously, i need floozies.
我们走
let's roll.
终 极
机器人搏击联盟
招募：
大块头
乡巴佬
机器人
嗨 头儿
howdy, chief.
下场比赛 你觉得我和她们在泥地里肉搏怎样
for my next bout, what do you say i fight these two bimbos in some mud?
事实上 我们决定向另一方向发展剧情
actually, we've decided to go in a different direction.
如果我告诉你
what if i told you
我们不用传统方式搏斗呢
we wouldn't be fighting in the conventional sense?
Bender 你的人气下降了
Bender, your popularity is slipping.
Bender牌法国沐浴皂销量下降了百分之二十
Sales of your Bender-brand french-milled bath soaps are down 20%.
这些白♥痴♥
those morons.
我说过要树莓味的 不要檀香的
i said teaberry, not sandalwood.
见鬼 Bender
damn it, Bender,
如果你不能推销檀香香皂
if you can't move sandalwood
你就得离开搏击联盟
you don't belong in this league!
所以你要输掉下周的锦标赛
that's why you're going to lose next week's title match.
但是观众们喜欢我
but the crowd loves me.
也许吧 那得看他们
perhaps, but let's see how they feel
对你的新角色怎么想了-变性人Bender
about your new persona- the gender Bender.
你将会成为自粪便处理者以后最不受欢迎的机器人斗士
you'll be the most unpopular robot fighter since sergeant feces processor.
是吗？
oh, yeah?
如果我不让新来的赢呢
well, what if i don't let the new guy win?
那么他会用
then, he'll just have to beat you
老方法来击倒你-打死你
the old-fashioned way- to death!
Melissa 让新来的进来
Melissa, send in the new kid.
我...是...破坏者
i... am... destructor!
搏击场见
see you at the fight.
然后我说 “搏击场见”
so then i said, "see you at the fight,"
事情就是这样
and that's the story.
我还以为机器人终极搏击是真枪实弹
man, i thought ultimate robot fighting was real
像职业摔跤一样 但没想到和拳击一样设计好了剧本
like pro wrestling, but it turns out it's fixed like boxing.
赢得一场设计好的比赛是一回事
it's one thing to win a fixed fight-
体面有尊严
there's dignity in that-
但输掉一场 还要穿这么丢人的衣服
but to lose, and in this atrocity-
我做不到
i can't do it.
飞出个未来（1999）
Futurama
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