飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E08

Part 3 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

Leela 你要训练我获胜
Leela, you've got to train me to win.
没门你不需要的时候就不接受我帮助
no way! if you wouldn't take my help when you didn't need it,
凭什么你需要我就得帮你
why should i give it to you now when you do need it?
你到底在说什么
what the hell are you talking about?
不知道不过我不会帮忙的
i don't know, but i'm not helping.
你们因为他是罪犯Bender而爱他
you loved him as Bender the offender.
现在开始恨他吧因为他的新角色威胁到了
now, get ready to hate him as he threatens your sexuality
你们的性取向变性人Bender
in his new persona- the gender Bender.
我是个小骚货
i'm a real toughie.
本周日擂主迎战...破坏者
squaring off this sunday, Versus... destructor.
我会毁灭你
i will destroy you!
别再打给我了
and stop calling me.
我是破坏者的教练 Funog大♥师♥
i am destructor's trainer, Master Funog.
我的学生会获胜的
my pupil will be victorious
因为他有武士意志
for he has the will of a warrior.
去死吧 Funog!
not Funog!
Bender 我们去健身房♥
Bender, let's hit the gym.
我要教你像女孩子那样去搏斗
i'm going to teach you to fight like a girl.
我要穿上我的短裙
i'll put on my tutu.
冠军争夺战
破坏者对阵变性人BENDER
“禁止”赌博
大家好欢迎来到
hello and welcome
万众瞩目的冠军战
to a remarkable championship bout-
破坏者全身装甲的机器人
destructor, a robotic armored tank
战场上使用他会被判战争罪
whose very use in battle has been ruled a war crime...
对抗穿粉色短裙的变性人Bender
Versus gender Bender, who wears a pink tutu.
这里是Rich Little在模仿Howard Cosell
this is Rich Little, imitating Howard Cosell
注：Rich Little为美国幽默明星，Howard Cosell为著名体育解说员
与前拳王George Foreman现场为您解说
注：George Foreman、Ali、Joe Frazier均为前拳王
here at ringside with George Foreman.
George 你怎么看
George, a word in edgewise.
这可能是1973年以来最一边倒的比赛
this could be the most one-sided fight since 1973
当时Ali对阵24.4米高的机械人Joe Frazier
when Ali faced an 80-foot-tall, mechanical Joe Frazier.
我记得不太清楚了
m-my memory's not what it used to be,
但当时我还以为整个地球被摧毁了
but i think the entire earth was destroyed.
是真的就有意思了
interesting, if true.
今晚拉斯维加斯赔率开出了空前的1000比0
the vegas odds tonight stand at an unprecedented 1,000:0.
免费押Bender 获胜可获得1000美元
a bet of zero dollars on Bender pays $1,000 if he wins.
但还是几乎没有人押他赢
still, very few takers.
这可不是明智的选择
it's not-not a smart bet.
根据剧本
according to the script,
你要跳上去用仙女棒给他搔痒
you're supposed to prance out and tickle him with your fairy wand.
而我要你冲上去踢爆他的头
instead, i want you to prance out and kick his head off.
明白猛踢不用仙女棒
got it. large kickle, hold the tickle.
谢天谢地我终于摆脱那个噩梦了
thank god, i'm free of that nightmare!
对不起老兄还给你
sorry, buddy. here you go.
谢谢
thank you.
地板真凉
it was cold on the floor.
教授我给你带了节目单
here, professor, i got you a program.
太好了
oh, good.
让我先戴上眼镜
just let me put on my reading glasses.
为什么 Zoidberg 这里会有张你可爱的照片
why, ,Zoidberg there's a lovely photo of you in here.
这边是金色卷发的年轻失足机器人
in this corner, the confused young robot with the golden curls,
体重525磅的...变性人Bender
weighing 525 pounds-the gender Bender!
把这个嬉皮士打下来
get that hippie out of the ring!
而这边的是体重400吨♥的
and in these two corners, weighing 400 tons,
来自pismo...海滩的...小玩意儿...破坏者
the gizmo from pismo... beach-Destructor!
我们又见面了
so, we meet again.
真有趣
most amusing.
看起来像搏击手的女孩
girl who acts like fighter
训练看起来像女孩的搏击手
training fighter who acts like girl.
尽管笑吧 Funog
keep laughing, Funog.
准备好了吗 Bender?
ready, Bender?
我等不及了敲钟吧
i was built ready. give me the bell.
你听到刚才的噪音了吗
did you hear a noise?
航♥班♥406最后一次登机通知
final boarding call for flight 406
提供无尽的疼痛服务
nonstop service to pain.
现在登机乘客请等候
now boarding stand-by passengers-
现在和往常一样
this seems as good a time as any
该无缘无故拿出我的烤肉架了
to bring up my new grill for no reason.
它的专利设计
with its patented design,
能让油脂直接流到我的嘴里
the fat drains directly into my mouth.
Fry 快扔毛巾认输
Fry, throw in the towel.
看在上帝的份上 Fry
for god sakes, Fry!
这真是我所想的
that's exactly what i was thinking.
不~
nooooo!
妈妈
mommy.
好了 Funog 够了
okay, Funog, that's enough.
叫他住手 Funog?
call him off. Funog?
为什么没有人救我
why won't anyone help me?
再说一遍我们又见面了
so... once more, we meet again.
你没有训练破坏者
you didn't train destructor.
你只是像操纵木偶一样控制他
you're just controlling him like a puppet.
在假格斗里作弊
i mean, cheating in a fake fight-
真卑鄙
that's low.
那也比做个女孩好比如你
better than being a girl... like you.
你是个女孩
you're a girl.
对啊
oh, right.
女孩缺乏武士意志
girls lack the will of the warrior.
现在是Bender时间
it's Benderin' time.
接招
take this...
看招
and this.
你是个优秀的学生
you were an excellent student.
只可惜我是个卑鄙的老师
too bad i was a lousy teacher.
我想你误会“Bender时间”意思了
i think you misunderstood the concept of Bendering time.
女生地狱见
see you in girl hell.
我会在男生地狱那里好多了
i'll be in boy hell- much nicer.
好耶
yes!
好耶
yes!
胜利者是..
and the winner is...
破坏者
Destructor!
我做体育解说员这么多年来
i've not seen a spectacle of this nature
从没遇到过这种场面
in all my years impersonating a sportscaster.
确实打得精彩
it sure was some fight.
顺便说一句
interesting side note:
作为一个没有身体的脑袋我嫉妒那死去的人
as a head without a body, i envy the dead.
完全赞同
no argument here.
Bender 比赛怎样
Bender, how did the fight go?
听说有人被打扁了
i heard somebody got flattened.
Fry 你的大脑鼻涕虫呢
Fry, where's your brain slug?
可怜的小东西饿死了
poor little guy starved to death.
我为你骄傲 Bender
i'm proud of you, Bender.
你是输了输得很惨
sure, you lost- you lost bad-
但重要的是
but the important thing is
我痛揍了高中时伤害我感情的人
i beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school.
我现在好痛苦
i'm in tremendous pain here.
干得好小伙子
great job, kid.
你输了而且演得好像真的似的
you lost, and you made it look almost half-real.
送你一张卡
i want you to have this card
这是床品世界九折卡
good for ten percent off at bed, bath and beyond.
好
yes...
我是最棒的
i'm the greatest...
最棒的
the greatest!
史上最伟大的斗士之一的时代就这样终结了
and so ends the chronicle of one of the greatest ever to play the sport.
而且他穿短裙也不赖
an-and he didn't look half-bad in a tutu.
是啊还不赖
that he did surely not.
什么？
what?