飞出个未来（1999）

Futurama S02E11

Part 3 Feb. 14, 2026, 6:10 p.m.

不是这样的我这个级别的官僚
no, you see, a bureaucrat of my rank
不允许和别人有私交
isn't supposed to fraternize.
所以这八卦才劲爆
that's what makes it so juicy.
偷吃禁果大家都喜欢
it's a forbidden fruit angle everybody loves.
我会这样开头 “你根本猜不到
first i'll say, "you'll never guess
谁看到了Fry和Morgan在做”
who saw Fry and Morgan doing it."
对方就会问 “谁？Bender？是谁？”
and they'll say, "who, Bender, who?"
我会说
and i'll say...
“就是你们可爱的老Bender”
"it was lovable old Bender."
你对他做了什么
hey, what did you do to him?
我下载了他的大脑
i downloaded his brain.
所有与Bender相关的东西都在这里
everything that is Bender is right here.
他的思想他的记忆
his mind, his memories--
他那种咄咄逼人的界面
his in-your-face interface.
我是压弯机
i am Bender.
请放入钢梁
please insert girder.
但Bender需要大脑才能做事
but, but, Bender need brain for smart making.
你又在做什么
what did you do now?
快停止
stop doing things.
我把磁盘报给了中♥央♥官僚
i sent the disk to be filed at the central bureaucracy.
我必须这么做 Fry
i did what i had to do, Fry.
他是个坏机器人
he was a bad robot.
不他只是个坏朋友而已
no, he was a bad friend.
你现在就给他恢复原样
i want him back right now.
那你得在20年前就填写申请
then you should have filed a request 20 years ago.
我恨透了你还有你的官僚系统
i'm sick of you and your bureaucracy.
邋遢鬼
dirty boy!
邋遢鬼
dirty boy!
你和Morgan有奸♥情♥
you and Morgan were having an affair?
我有什么办法
i couldn't help it.
她爱我因为我是个邋遢鬼
she loved me because of the part of me that's a slob.
我爱她因为我觉得自己很没前途
i loved her because of the part of me that's desperate.
我是压弯机
i am Bender.
请放入钢梁
please insert girder.
可怜的Bender
poor Bender.
没了大脑
without his brain
他变得如此安静和友善
he's become all quiet and helpful.
我们得去中♥央♥官僚
we've got to go to the central bureaucracy
把他的磁盘拿回来
and get that disk back.
是的我们必须去
oh, yes, we must.
是的
yeah.
为什么
why?
抛开那些争论我们还是要去的
well, those arguments aside, we're still going.
你不能大摇大摆地走进中♥央♥官僚
you can't just waltz into the central bureaucracy.
那里满是错综复杂的繁文缛节和规章制度
it's a tangled web of red tape and regulations.
我从来没去过
i've never been
但是我有个朋友曾疯了
but a friend of mine went completely mad
只是因为他想在那里找厕所
just trying to find the washroom there.
那么我们就需要一个导游
then we'll need a guide.
一个曾经去过那里的人
someone who's been there before.
我去过那里
oh, i've been there.
很多次
lots of times.
看那个
look at that.
推车出去的时候是满的回来就空了
the carts go out full, but they come in empty.
这非常的没效率
it's criminally inefficient.
安静点伙计
quiet, mate.
拉空推车是最接近睡觉的方法了
pulling the empty carts is the closest thing we get to sleep.
但你看不明白吗
but don't ya see?
他们可以提升4%的效率
they could increase efficiency four percent
如果用空车把沉重的挖掘器械搬进来
if they used the empty carts to bring in heavy mining machinery.
我支持你的想法
hey, i like the way you think.
哦天啊
oh, lord.
你得做一个官僚或其他什么
you know, you ought to be a bureaucrat or something.
这得等多久啊
man, how long is this going to take?
中♥央♥官僚机构
美东时间公元2159年执照申请中
我还在等我的出生证明
i'm still waiting on my birth certificate.
我应该是等不了那么久了
well, it doesn't look like i'll make it inside with the rest of you.
但祝你们好运
but good luck.
我就留在这里了
just leave me where i drop.
绝了
oh, great.
有人刚生了个孩子
someone had a baby.
别等了我有个更好的主意
come on. i have a better idea.
你好
excuse me.
我们是星球快递送货公♥司♥
we're from the planet express delivery company.
我们来送货货品是机器人
we're here to deliver a robot.
我是压弯机
i am Bender.
请放入钢梁
please insert girder.
看来办公室又有乐子了
looks like we've got a new office cutup.
都闪开都闪开
look out! look out!
我的慢速交通工具要撞毁了
i'm going to crash my slow-mobile.
我得急转弯避开你们
i had to swerve to avoid you.
你慢慢撞
while you're crashing
请问你知道这些金属罐会送到哪里吗
could you tell us where all these canisters end up?
中♥央♥档案室
oh, you want central filing.
好的
okay.
谢谢
thank you.
谢谢
thanks.
太棒了
wonderful.
不
no!
中♥央♥档案室
central filing?
我知道它在哪里
of course i know where that is.
我是20级
i'm a grade 20.
在哪里
where is it?
我不能告诉你
i can't tell you.
我难道看起来是个16级吗
what do i look like? a grade 16?
我们会在这里磨叽到死的
we're getting nowhere slowly. here.
我把这个标记成送至中♥央♥档案室
i'll address this to the central filing room.
然后用我的腕式追踪器
then we'll track it with my wrist lojack-a-mater.
冷
cold.
暖
warmer.
热热热热热热
hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
拜托不要告诉我的领导我在睡觉
please don't tell my supervisor i was sleeping.
中♥央♥档案室
就是这里
this is it.
我们冲进去拿到Bender的磁盘就跑懂了吗
we'll just run in, grab Bender's disk, and run out. got it?
我们永远都找不到那个磁盘了是吗 Bender
we'll never find that disk, will we, Bender?
我是压弯机
i am Bender.
请放入钢梁
please insert girder.
你是对的只要有一丝希望我们就不该放弃
you're right. nothing is over as long as there's one thin ray of hope.
你们丢东西了吗
lost something?
我早该知道你们会来这里
i should have known you'd come here
而不是遵守流程
rather than follow proper procedure.
其实我早就知道所以我才来了
and i did know, and that's why i came here.
听着Morgan 我们结束了
listen, Morgan, we're through.
你就是个魔鬼你个冷血无情的女人
you're an evil, heartless woman
我再也不想见到你了
and i never want to see you again.
但你得把Bender的磁盘找回来
would you help us get Bender back
念在旧时的情分
for old times' sake?
恐怕他的磁盘已经混在主输入文件堆里了
i'm afraid he's lost in the master in-pile.
得用那种大型
and it would take some sort of giant
原子能分类机器才能找出来
mechanical atomic-powered sorting machine to find him.
你肯定？
you rang?
够了Hermes 赶快跳吧
damn it, Hermes, just jump already.
别折腾那颗健康的肝了
stop hogging that healthy liver.
不我想要活着
no, i want to live.
组织那个SPA劳♥改♥营
organizing that forced-labor SPA
让我重新燃起了对官僚的永恒热爱
rekindled my lifelong love of bureaucracy.
Hermes让那个地狱变得特别有效率
my Hermes got that hellhole running so efficiently
所有的体力活只需要一个
that all the physical labor is now done
澳大利亚男士来做了
by a single australian man.
但你怎么知道我们在这里的