欢乐一家亲（1993）
Frasier S10E05
Part 1
March 30, 2022, 10:59 a.m.
第十季 第五集
嘿 Roz 嗨 嗨 Roz
Hey, Roz... Hi, hi, hi. Roz,
你刚刚错过了一个史上绝妙的恶作剧
you just missed the classic prank of all time.
我必须要说 那是我的杰作
I'll admit it, this was my masterpiece.
噢 谁啊 谁啊 你整谁了 - 给你说
Oh, who, who? Who'd you get? - OK...
干得漂亮 Bulldog - 他在那儿呢
Way to go, Bulldog! - There he is!
我在地下车♥库♥用一台报废的宝马
I got this friend down at the impound lot,
整到了这个伙计
who came across a smashed-up BMW,
那台破车和Frasier爱车的型号♥一模一样
same make and model as Frasier's.
真的啊 你整到了Frasier
You didn't! You got Frasier!
我把他的车拖出车♥库♥ 然后把那个破车停在车位上
I had his car towed from the garage, the wreck went in its place.
他看见的时候吓坏了
The doc totally freaked when he saw it.
他先是爆粗口
First, he started swearing,
然后又求天告地
and then he implored the heavens,
当他嘴唇都开始发抖的时候
and just when his lip started trembling,
Bulldog出来告诉他这一切都是恶作剧
Bulldog comes out, tells him it's all a prank.
嘿 我可是见好就收了
Hey, Bulldog observes the mercy rule.
再说了 我把这一切都录下来了
Besides, I got the whole thing on tape.
承认吧 医生 我整到你了
Admit it, Doc, I got you good.
来吧 说"Bulldog最棒了"
Come on, say it: "Bulldog's the best!"
好吧 好吧 来一段儿我教你的热舞怎么样
OK, OK, how 'bout the bitch dance I taught you?
那么 至少击个掌吧 来
Well, at least give me one up high! Come on...
噢 行了 别让我白举个手
oh, come on, don't leave me hanging,
医生 你的万圣节精神呢
Doc! Where's your Halloween spirit?
放心 我一直举手等着呢
Don't worry, it'll be here waiting for you.
声明一下 我一开始就看出来那不是我的车了
For the record, I knew immediately it was not my car.
我车上有车尾贴 上面写着
Mine has a bumper sticker on it that says,
"拥护奥普拉 行使选举权"
"I AM PRO OPERA AND I VOTE!"
Frasier 你得承认 他手段很高明
Frasier, you've got to admit, it was clever.
我什么也不会承认
I admit nothing.
再也不要讨论这件事了
That is the last we shall discuss of it,
我们还要做节目呢
We have a show to do.
下午好 西雅图
Good afternoon, Seattle,
欢迎来到Crane医生秀的万圣节特别节目
and welcome to the Halloween edition of the Dr. Frasier Crane Show.
今天我们来谈一谈 恐惧
Today we will be discussing the topic... of fears.
人们会恐惧莫名的阻碍 还是更新换代的工具呢
Are they irrational hindrances, or evolutionary tools?
嗯 说了这么多 答案竟然是
Hmmm... the surprising answer, after these words.
我的车 噢不要 我的车
My car! Ohhhh, no my caaar!
他们对你做了什么 噢我的宝贝车车
What did they do to you?! Oh, my bay-beee...!
举手等着呢
Whenever you're ready.
又到了10月31日吗
你找到点儿东西没
Did you find something?
你觉得他们会要酱油包吗
Do you think they'll take soy sauce packets?
谁一直在摁门铃啊 - 嘘 是来要糖的小孩子
Who keeps ringing the doorbell? - Shh! It's trick or treaters.
好了 他们走了 - 怎么 为什么不让他们进来
OK, they're gone. - Well, why didn't you let them in?
因为某些人忘了准备万圣节糖果
Because someone forgot to get Halloween candy.
尽管如此 有的人本来可以买♥♥糖的
Although, someone else could have picked it up
因为她就在商店里啊
since she was already in the store.
但是 那样就破坏了某些人
But, that would override the duty list
一直坚持实施的任务表啊
that someone insisted on implementing.
如果你们管这也叫吵架
If this is what you two call a fight,
那你们根本不配结婚
you're not fit to be married.
有一次我把你♥爸♥的头按到水下 然后 - 嘘
I once held your father's head underwater, and... - Shh!
哦 天哪 我们没有糖 走开
Oh, for heaven's sake! We haven't got any candy, shove off!
这下好了 他们知道家里有人了
Great, now they know we're here.
这个国家的症结所在就是
That is precisely what's wrong with this country,
没人敢站出来反抗这些孩子
everyone's afraid to stand up to the children.
不给糖就捣蛋 - 你没听见吗 我们没有糖
Trick-or-treat! - Didn't you hear? We've got no candy!
我们可以给你酒店里带回来的香皂
We can offer you hotel soaps.
但这是万圣节啊 我盛装打扮 你得给我糖啊
But it's Halloween. I dress up, you give me candy.
你这衣服是要吓人的吗 - 不是啊 你的是吗
That costume's supposed to be scary? - No, is yours?
噢 你那张小嘴
Oh, a nice bite into an onion
真该被塞满洋葱
is what that mouth of yours deserves.
如果你不给糖 我就会捣蛋的
If you don't have treats, you're going to get a trick.
随你怎么办 我不怕你
Do your worst! I'm not afraid of you.
认真的
Honestly!
也许我还是应该去买♥♥点糖回来
OK, well, maybe I'll go and get some candy after all.
好吧 我还是去拿我的雨衣和壁球护目镜吧
OK, I'm going to need my slicker and my squash goggles!
好吧 要是气球是蓝色怎么办
早上好 Roz 一起吃吧 - 好啊 Frasier
Good morning, Roz. May I join you? - Sure, Frasier.
很高兴见到你今天不是怒气冲冲的
Well, I'm glad to see you're not sulking today.
是啊 我好好地想了想
Yes, well, I had a little time to think about it,
决定要把Bulldog整我这事儿抛在脑后
and I've decided to put Bulldog's prank behind me...
很成熟的想法 - 我没说完呐
That's very mature. - I'm not finished!
前提是我得整回去
...by visiting upon him a prank
还得用比他损十倍的招儿 看这个
that is ten times more dastardly. Look at this.
看起来像是绑着气球的汽车啊 - 的确是
Looks like a car with a balloon tied to it. - Precisely.
每次他最爱的海鹰队输比赛时
I will tie a red balloon to the antenna
我就会在他车的天线上绑一个
of Bulldog's car every time his precious Seahawks...
红气球
...lose a game.
假以时日 这种条件反射
Over time, the conditioned response
在他的心里就会变得根深蒂固
will become ingrained in his psyche.
最终 他一看到红色的气球
Eventually, the mere sight of a red balloon...
就会有一种无法言说的
...will bring about in him an inexplicable sense...
挫败
...of loss.
完胜
Check and mate
这是不有点 过头了
Isn't that... kind of out there?
要的就是这样 当然了
That's the point. Well, of course,
我可以随便弄一个你们那种小儿科整蛊
I could go with any one of your basic pranks:
递一杯开水什么的 相信我
hand in warm water, and whatnot... Believe me,
我对这些了如指掌
I have an intimate knowledge of all of them.
但是我在寻求一种专属于我的方式
But what I'm looking for is something unmistakably ME.
可以说是一个整蛊代表作
A signature prank, if you will.
你为什么不能忘了报复
Why don't you just forget about revenge
给他时间休息休息
and give him his two minutes in the sun?
什么 我付薪水他休息 - 看看他的生活吧
What, at my expense? - Look at his life!
你们原本是平等的
You guys used to be equals,
现在他必须待在楼下那个
now he's stuck downstairs in that
不见天日的 发霉的档案室
dark, musty archives room.
你得同情同情他 不是吗
You must have some sympathy for him, don't you?
"不见天日 发霉的档案室" 我也许能用到
"Dark, musty archives"... I think I could use that!
大家好啊 - 你好 Niles
Hello, all. - Hello, Niles.
我们为什么非得在这儿耽误
Why do we have to stop here?
我在家我也可以做咖啡
I could make coffee at home.
现在 还是不回家比较好
Now, now, it's good to get out of the house,
呼吸呼吸新鲜空气 锻炼一下肺部什么的
get some fresh air, exercise those lungs.
我的肺一直都很好啊
My lungs are as strong as ever.
就昨天 我两口就把整个雪茄抽完了
Just yesterday, I finished a whole cigarette in two drags.
破纪录了
One off me record!
这是什么 - 我在设计一个终极整蛊
What's this? - I'm devising the ultimate prank,
来报复Bulldog
to get my revenge on Bulldog.
呃 就是要小心点儿年轻人也许技高一筹
Ah, well just beware the dangers of juvenile one-upsmanship.
就是昨晚 Moon女士
Only last night, Mrs. Moon
教训了一个要糖果的孩子
challenged a trick-or-treater,
他就朝我们家门上砸鸡蛋
and he responded by pelting our door with eggs.
对 但是我算是扳平了
Yeah, but I got the little monster back,
我涂了一大坨润滑的凡士林
by putting a big, greasy glob of Vaseline
在那小鬼家的门把手上
on his doorknob!
你说了要了结这个事儿的 - 所以我才用凡士林啊
You said you'd put an end to it! - Hence the Vaseline.
妈 他还是个孩子啊
Mum, he's a child!
那是该让他知道跟Gertrude Moon胡来
Well, it's time he learned you don't mess with Gertrude Moon,
是会有严重后果的
without incurring my wrath.
那么就这样 我要一杯可可
Now, excuse me, I require cocoa.
其实 我觉得她的心态很正确
You know, I think she has the right attitude.
如果我想让Bulldog不再惹我
If I expect Bulldog to leave me alone,
我就得让他知道他是在和一个聪明绝顶的人打交道
I've got to show him that he's dealing with a superior intellect.
先给他们看看那个带气球的车
Show them the balloon car.
我相信达芬奇早期的手稿也是被人嘲笑过的
I'm sure Da Vinci's early notes were full of laughs too!
不好意思 我还有设计要做
Excuse me, I have devising to do!
一共是 32.03美元
That'll be... $32.03.
一杯饮料这么贵
For one drink?!
你的孙子还点了一篮蛋糕
欢乐一家亲（1993）
Frasier
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