美式主妇

American Housewife S02E24

Part 4 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:25 p.m.

Come on, guys.
我的天凯蒂
Oh...my God, Katie.
去年只有虾没有了
Last year, it was just the shrimp that ran out,
但你什么也没有
but you don't have anything.
五小时后就是晚会
The Gala is five hours away,
除了空帐篷你什么都没有
and you have nothing but an empty tent.
我会第一个到场
I'm gonna be the first one here
这样可以看到你崩溃
so I can watch you crash and burn.
你恰好在晚会搞砸之前
So you just happened to be strolling by
路经此地吗
moments after the Gala fell apart?
愚蠢的泰拉和你老公不同我时刻在关注你
Stupid Tara -- unlike your husband, I'm all over you.
史黛西我是凯蒂·奥图
Stacy? It's Katie Otto.
我打来是告诉你你是对的
I'm calling to tell you that you were right.
有人破坏了我的晚会
Someone is messing with my Gala,
也破坏了你的
and they messed with yours, too.
我就知道
I knew it!
有人取消了你订的虾
Someone canceled your shrimp order.
她们当然取消了
Damn right they did!
不是她们是她
Not "They." She.
泰拉·萨莫斯
Tara Summers.
泰拉·萨莫斯
Tara Summers?
泰拉·萨莫斯
Tara Summers!
哪一个是泰拉·萨莫斯
Which one is Tara Summers?
头发偏金一身豆腐味
Blonde-ish. Smells like tofu.
泰拉·萨莫斯
Tara Summers!
桔子酱
You see, Marmalade?
我没疯
I am not crazy.
放在桌边的帐篷里
Okay, guys, in the tent by the table.
就像拉杰在网上跳的
Come on, just like Rajnee showed us on YouTube.
拧灯泡
Screw in the light bulb.
拧灯泡
Screw in the light bulb.
我说了洒一点玛丽亚
I said just a splash, Maria!
这些郁金香不是你和你的闺蜜们
Those tulips aren't you and your gal pals
在班尼根酒吧喝打折酒
at Bennigan's for happy hour!
说得好
Nailed it!
摸狗狗
Now, pet the dog.
摸狗狗
Pet the dog.
我的天真好喝
Oh, my God. This is so good.
是啊
I know.
我会醉到"脱掉鞋子告诉我的孩子们我爱他们"
I'm gonna get all "Lose my shoes, tell my kids I love 'em" Drunk.
谢谢
Thank you!
我爱你的老公
I love your husband.
我知道
I know.
我一直遭受痢疾的痛苦
I was wracked with dysentery the whole time,
但好的一面我瘦到可以穿三角泳裤
but bright side -- I got down to my Speedo weight.
太好喝了
This is so good.
从现在开始我只喝垃圾箱里的东西
From now on, I'm only drinking out of garbage cans.
不敢相信居然搞定了
I can't believe this all came together.
我真为你骄傲
I am so proud of you.
对你们穷♥人♥我有一样很佩服
You know, one thing I will give to you poors --
你们真是神通广大
you are resourceful.
愚蠢愚蠢的泰拉
Well, stupid, stupid Tara,
尽管你尽一切能力破坏我的晚会
even with you doing all that you could do to sabotage my Gala,
我依然完成了
I still pulled it off.
凯蒂我真的不知道你在说什么
Katie, I honestly have no idea what you're talking --
我知道我订了足够多的虾
I knew I ordered enough shrimp!
拉...
Get --
拉她下去
Get her off me!
你毁了我的人生
You ruined my life!
所有人以为我是疯子
Everyone thought I was crazy!
我不是疯子
Well, I'm not crazy!
是你害我的
You did this to me!
救命救命
Help me! Help me!
让她们打
Let 'em go.
凯蒂我不想承认但晚会太棒了
Katie, I hate to admit it, but this Gala is amazing.
有史以来最棒的
I mean, best ever.
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
女士们我是真心说这句话
And, ladies, I mean this from the bottom of my heart...
去死
Suck it!
克劳泽回来了
Clouser's back!
-她是最棒的 -我一直喜欢她
- She is the best! - I've always liked her.
不是我
It wasn't me!
才怪
Yeah, right.
如果不是你那是谁
If it wasn't you, then who?
我不知道
I don't know.
我为什么要破坏每年的晚会
Why do I sabotage the Gala every year?
是因为混乱让我兴奋
Is it because chaos turns me on?
还是这些墨西哥减肥药让我疯狂
Or maybe these Mexican diet pills are making me psychotic.
凯蒂
Katie!
潘趣酒太好喝了
This punch is so yummy!
苏珊你最好了
Suzanne, you're the best.
我的天真是内森·菲利安
Oh, my gosh. It really is Nathan Fillion.
他骑着...那是什么鬼东西
And he's riding on a -- What the hell is that?
我在西港的晚会上骑着一头
I'm at a Gala in Westport riding a camel
扮成大象的骆驼我从未觉得如此有活力
disguised as an elephant, and I've never felt more alive!
你怎么知道他会接受骆驼象
How did you know he'd go for the camel-elephant?
晚会前他来到家里安娜凯特和我
Well, Anna-Kat and I prepared him a little snack
为他准备了零食
when he stopped by before the Gala.
大象
Elephant.
骆驼
Camel.
全是大象和骆驼
It's all elephants and camels.
又一征兆
It's another sign.
饼干们你们又做到了
Cookies, you've done it again.
你成功了
You did it.
我成功了
I did do it.
我以为你会说"我们成功了" 不过没关系
I thought you'd say, "We did it," But all right.
这样说怎么样我成功了
How about this -- I did it,
但没有你我不可能成功
but I couldn't have done it without you.
有进步
Better.
-打板 -我的天
- A-mark. - Oh, my God!
我觉得我的眼睛在干呕
I feel like my eyes are dry-heaving!
怎么了我们只是表现出喜欢彼此
What? We're just showing that we like each other.
对 D真是压住我了
Yeah. D really laid it on me!
我喘不过气
I couldn't breathe!
我不经常用它
All right, I don't use it very much,
但我还算喜欢它所以好了
but I'm kind of fond of it, so... there we go.
开拍
Action.
妈妈爸爸猜猜错了
Mama, Daddy, guess...Yes, that was wrong.
你还好吗
You all right?
我年轻时候如果想作弊
Back in my day, if you wanted to cheat,
把公式写在大腿上就行可以吗
you'd just write the formula on your upper thigh. Did I get it?
很好但我停下来毁了太棒了
Great. But then I just stopped and I ruined it, so...That's awesome!
有人方便吗
At somebody's convenience,
能给我抗胃酸咀嚼片吗
may I get some Tums?
我吃了甜甜圈和培根我后悔每一个选择
I had a doughnut and bacon, and I'm regretting every choice.
-是这样吗 -对很好再来一次
- Was that it? - Yes. Lovely. Do it again.
很好
Love.