美式主妇

American Housewife S02E15

Part 1 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:24 p.m.

凯蒂
Hey, Katie!
维芙
Viv? ‭
你怎么进来的
How'd you get in?
你们不在家时我闯了进来
Oh! I broke in while you guys were away,
叫了锁匠我假装是你
called a locksmith, pretended I was you,
配了把钥匙
and had a key made.
这不重要
It's not important.
你在做什么
Mm. ‭Whatcha workin' on?
选择把你关在外面的最佳方式
Deciding on the best way to keep you out --
看门狗还是挖护城河里面装满碳水化合物
a guard dog or dig a moat and fill it with carbs.
你啊
You!
草书这是什么
Ooh. Cursive. What's this?
这是春季晚会的邀请函样本
These are the sample invitations for the Spring Gala.
对不起但我不能参加你的晚会
I'm so sorry, but I cannot go to your little Gala.
因为离婚我没钱
I don't have any money because of the divorce,
我的新男友是训猪师
and my new boyfriend is a pig trainer,
并不像听起来那么赚钱
which is not ‭as lucrative as it sounds.
你不必道歉没邀请你
You don't have to apologize. You're not invited.
这是学校筹款会你没孩子
It's a school function, and you don't have kids.
我可能很快就有了
Well, I might someday soon.
什么情况
What now?
和德克进展得太好了
Things with Dirk are amazing.
身体接触太美好了
Physically, it's so gooood.
好得不得了
Extra O's.
说过别信息量太大
Remember the over-share conversation?
现在就是
This falls into that.
对
Oh, right. ‭
所以我在考虑生孩子
And so that's why I was thinking about having a baby.
你觉得我会是好妈妈吗
Do you think I'd be a good mom?
你会是妈妈
You'd be...A mom.
对吗
Right? ‭
妈我需要你
Mom! I need you!
我不舒服
I don't feel good!
维芙养孩子
Viv raising a kid?
我无法想象
I'm not sure I could picture that.
你为什么不告诉奥利弗你最好的朋友来了
Why don't you just tell Oliver your best friend's over
让他闭嘴爷们一点
and to shut up and grow a pair?!
现在我可以想象画面并不美好
Now I can picture it, and it's not gooood.
非常不好
Extra O's.
美式主妇第二季第十五集
怎么了亲爱的
What's wrong, honey?
身体痛好冷出汗
I'm achy and I'm freezing and sweating.
你去拿体温计好吗
Can you get the thermometer?
我做了16年的母亲
I have been a mother for over 16 years.
我不需要体温计
I don't need a thermometer.
你发烧了
Yep. You got a fever.
维芙就不能对孩子这样做
Viv couldn't do that with a kid.
她的脸可能因为脸颊填充物
Her face has probably lost all feeling
已经成了死皮了
from the cheek fillers.
妈妈我的科学作业完成了
Mama, my science project is done.
你说了不要拖到最后一刻
You said not to wait until the last minute,
但我拖了
but I did wait.
看来你错了
Looks like you were wrong.
做完了两面
It's finished? Both sides?
见鬼还有一面
Oh, crap. There's another side?
明天前要做好3D细胞模型
I have to build a 3-D model of a cell by tomorrow?
我完蛋了
I'm ruined!
妈我的排球队服在哪
Mom, where's my volleyball jersey?
明天一早就比赛如果我没队服
First game's tomorrow, and if I don't have it,
曼迪就会抢了我的位置
Mandy Ward is taking my spot.
她已经长到C杯了
She's already filling up a C cup.
她不需要其他事样样顺意
She doesn't need anything else to go her way.
我叫你挂起来你照做了吗
Did you hang it up like I told you to?
这是一场灾难
This is a disaster!
好像服装超♥市♥更衣室的服务员辞职了
It looks like the dressing room attendant at Ross up and quit.
你能一边吼我一边找吗
Can you look for my jersey while you yell at me?
我知道你的时间很宝贵
I know your time is valuable.
你们三个只能怪你们自己
The three of you have no one to blame but yourselves.
我提醒一下你们两个周六前
Let me remind you that, two Saturdays ago,
我就试着阻止这一切
I tried to stop this very moment from happening.
安娜凯特你真的得开始
Anna-Kat, you really need to get a head start
做科学作业了
on this science project.
放轻松书呆两周后才交
Relax, nerd. ‭It's not due for two weeks.
我去库珀家
I'm going to Cooper's.
你要穿上外套
You need to put a jacket on.
你可不想生病
You don't want to get sick.
你在四年的医学院中学到的吗
Did they cover that in your fourth year of medical school?
你要打扫你的房♥间
You need to clean your room.
把队服挂起来这样不会弄丢
And hang up your jersey so you don't lose it.
妈如果我的房♥间乱烦到你了
Mom, if my messy room bothers you,
有个办法别进去
here's a solution -- don't go in it.
问题解决者
Problem solver!
你们应该一开始就听我的
You should have listened to me in the first place,
我之后又说了十遍
and the 10 more times I told you after that.
格雷格
Greg?
你们妈妈说得对
Your mother's right.
她让你们做什么
When she tells you to do something,
你们应该马上做
you should do it immediately.
谢谢
Thank you.
对了我的邀请函样本完成了
By the way, I'm done with my sample invitations.
我想你把打印机装好了
I assume ‭you've set up the printer?
-没但是 -真的吗格雷格
- No, but -- - ‭Seriously, Greg?
你有两年时间装好
You've had two years to set it up.
我会装的你不必唠叨
I'm going to set it up. You don't have to nag.
我不唠叨
I don't nag.
别做这种愚蠢的表情
Stop making those dumb faces.
如果我爱唠叨虽说我不是
If I were a nag -- which I'm not --
那也是因为你们逼我的
it'd only be because you all make me one.
如果我说了你们就做
If you did what I told you,
我将只是发送温馨提醒的和气女人
I would just be a sweet woman offering gentle reminders.
我要这话记录在案我们不做表情
I want it on record that we did not exchange looks,
哪怕你说自己和气
even though you called yourself "Sweet"
你的提醒很温馨
and said your reminders were "Gentle."
尽管笑但你们现在
Laugh it up, but the only reason
找妈的唯一原因
why you're calling for mommy right now
是因为你们都不听我的
is because none of you ever listen to me.
不是这样的
That's not true.
安娜凯特我刚说什么
Anna-Kat, what did I just say?
格雷格
Greg!
不是这样的格雷格
No, it's like this. Greg!
知道吗
Okay, you know what?
我受够你们了
I'm tired of you people.
我为你们放弃了我的生活我的身材
I have given you my life, my body,
我的陶器工作室
and my pottery studio.
是的
That's right.
你的卧室本来要成为我的陶器工作室
Your bedroom was going to be my pottery studio.
你们靠自己吧妈妈模式正式关闭
You're on your own. I'm turning off the mom switch.
但我需要队服
But I need my jersey!
我的模型怎么办
What do I do about my model?
我在出冷汗妈
But my cold sweats -- Mom!
这里没妈
No Mom here.
我只是没有打印机的没孩子的女人
Just a childless woman without a printer
也没地方给我的创意陶罐上釉
or a place to glaze my whimsical pinch-pots.
你去哪里
Where are you going?
出去
‭Out.
等我回来时打印机最好能用了
And by the time I get back, that printer better be working.
我不能同时照顾孩子
Well, I can't deal with the kids
还装打印机
and set up the printer at the same time.
每一天我都要想办法
Every day, I figure out
做早餐打包午餐
how to make breakfast, pack lunches,
清洁房♥子洗衣服