美式主妇

American Housewife S02E20

Part 3 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:25 p.m.

And you can stop worrying about tenure.
我不明白
I don't follow.
你是他们最棒的历史教授
You're the best history professor they have.
你是出过书的作家你的学生喜欢你
You're a published author, your students love you,
等你有钱后你不必再工作了
and when you're rich, you don't have to work.
让终身教职见鬼去压力没了
Screw the tenure. The pressure's off.
我没想到这点
I hadn't thought of that.
你有权力了
You have all the power.
你说得对
You're right.
我不必为这次会议紧张了
I don't have to be nervous for this meeting.
我可以进去想怎么做就怎么做
I can go in there, do whatever I want!
你是最厉害的
You're the top dog, dawg!
请什么也别说
Please don't say anything.
太有爱了
This is so sweet.
像是邪教大卫教派
It feels like something the Branch Davidians would do
在升♥天♥前会做的
before the Rapture.
但依然有爱
But still sweet.
早
Morning.
早
Morning.
我给大家做了早餐
I made breakfast for everyone.
你的在台面上
Yours is on the counter.
瞧好了遗产派上用场了
Watch this -- inheritance at work.
太棒了但我更喜欢
This is great, but I like it
华夫饼上有笑脸
when the waffle smiles back at me.
我来
Oh, I can do that.
谢谢
Thanks.
我得去超♥市♥
I got to run to the grocery store.
希望能在看斯宾塞的遗嘱前回来
I hope I can get back before Spencer's will viewing.
我不希望你太赶出会事故的
I don't want you rushing. That's how accidents happen.
不你留在家我去超♥市♥
No, you stay home, and I'll go to the store.
而且排水沟好恶心
Also, the gutters are disgusting.
我们没有梯子
We don't have a ladder,
但我相信你会想到办法的
but I'm sure you'll figure it out.
鲍尔森博士
Hey, Dr. Paulson.
奥图教授你迟到了五分钟
Professor Otto, you're five minutes late.
我本来想迟到十分钟
Well, I meant to be 10 minutes late,
看来还得杀点时间
so looks like I got some time to kill.
你给自己倒完我们的饮料后
Well, when you've finished helping yourself
过来坐吧
to our beverages, why don't you have a seat?
没问题老大
You got it, big guy.
柠檬没有过滤网
No net for the lemon?
没有
No?
我将就吧
I'll make do.
怎么样
So...what's up?
告诉我们奥图教授
Tell us, Professor Otto,
你能为大学做出什么贡献
what do you have to offer the university,
我们应该给你终身教职
should you be awarded tenure?
我教书不是因为我必须教
You know, I don't teach because I have to.
我教书是因为我想教
I teach because I want to.
很多学校想给这根手指套上戒指
A lot of schools want to put a ring on this finger,
所以也许你们应该告诉我
so maybe you should be telling me why
为什么我要把事业的黄金年华贡献给这间学校
I should spend the best years of my career at this university.
不要马上回答
Oh, oh, don't answer right away.
好好想想
Think about it.
再通知我不说也行
Get back to me. Or don't.
教授委员会想知道
Professor, the board would like to know
我们能对你有何期望
what we can expect from you
包括潜在的津贴出版作品
in terms of potential grants, published works,
演讲
speaking engagements.
我可以坐在这里列出我的成就
You know, I could sit and list my accomplishments,
但如果你们想知道我有什么招
but if you really want to know what's under my hood...
这是我的书
Here's my book.
看作者照片
Check out the author photo
抵挡手指向右滑的诱惑[约会网站上表示同意]
and resist the temptation to swipe right.
恕我失陪了教师得去教书了
Now, if you'll excuse me, teacher's got to teach.
奥图教授这样太不合规矩了
Professor Otto, this is highly irregular.
天啊真是抱歉
Oh, God, I am so sorry.
亲爱的吉米你的名字有太多内行才懂的笑话
"Dear Jimmy, too many inside jokes to name.
过个愉快的暑假格雷格赠
Have a bitchin' summer -- Greg."
还好吗
What's up?
-各位 -你终于来了
- Hey, guys. - Finally, you're here.
-会议怎么样 -不知道不在乎
- How'd the meeting go? - Don't know, don't care.
可能我会开间大学
May start my own college.
我能做院长吗
Ooh, can I be dean?
我会出现在兄弟会派对上
I'll show up at the frat parties,
大家都会以为我是去叫停的
and everyone will think I'm there to shut it down,
但其实我是去炒气氛的
but really I'm there to turn it all the way up.
抱歉必须在这里见面但我在网上买♥♥的录像机
Oh, sorry we had to meet here, but the VCR I bought on eBay
里面卡了卷《脱线游龙》的带子
had a copy of "Captain Ron" Jammed in it.
你们好奥图一家
Hello, Ottos.
如果你们在看这个就表示我已经死了
If you're watching this, it means I'm dead.
至少所有人以为我死了
Or at least, everyone thinks I'm dead.
转身
Turn around.
骗到你们了
Gotcha!
不我真死了
Nope, I'm dead.
那些健怡汽水要了我的命
All that diet soda has finally caught up with me.
你们是了不起的一家
You are a fantastic family
张开双臂欢迎我进入你们的家
who welcomed me into your home with open arms,
尤其是你奥利弗
especially you, Oliver.
所以我决定将我的全部房♥产
And that's why I've decided to leave my entire estate
与资产留给你和你的父母
and fortune to you and your parents.
所以享受成为1%吧
So enjoy being in the 1%.
我们有钱了
We're rich!
从现在开始我们只在全食超♥市♥买♥♥东西
From now on, we only shop at Whole Foods!
我会在收银处买♥♥20元一条的糖果条
I'm gonna buy those $20 candy bars by the register.
还有
There's more.
还有格雷格还有
Oh, there's more. Greg, there's more!
还有
There's more.
你好奥利弗
Hello, Oliver.
我想了一晚上
I've slept on it,
我想到了留给你更好的东西
and I thought of something even better to leave you --
-什么也不给你 -什么
- Nothing. - What?
我毫不怀疑你会相当成功
I have no doubt you'll be wildly successful.
人生最棒的感觉
There's nothing like the feeling of
莫过于赚到第一个一百万
earning your first million.
小奥利弗如果我夺走了这点
Ollie boy, I could never forgive myself
我永远不会原谅我自己
if I robbed you of that.
太遗憾了奥利弗
I am so sorry, Oliver.
你可以来我开办的大学
You can come to the college I'm starting.
凯蒂和格雷格我父亲总是说
Katie and Greg, my father always said,
家人要照顾家人我想照顾你们
"Family takes care of family," And I want to take care of you.
王子这个人是王子
A prince. This man was a prince.
所以我也什么都不留给你们
So you also get nothing.
王子...
A prince of
我见过金钱拆散家庭
I've seen money tear families apart,
我不能冒险毁掉我所知的最好的家庭
and I can't risk ruining the best family I know.
琳达我不知道他说什么
Linda, I don't know what he's talking about.
我们是糟糕的家庭我讨厌这些人
We're a terrible family. I hate these people.
等等还有
Oh, wait, wait, wait, there's more.
也许他又改变主意了
Maybe he changed his mind again.
斯宾塞特别喜欢
Spencer was a big fan of
录下自己唱卡拉OK
videotaping himself doing karaoke.
还以为千万富翁
You'd think for a multi-millionaire,
不会用已经录了东西的带子
he wouldn't reuse the same tapes.
-爽斯宾塞 -外婆
- Yes, Spencer, yes! - Grandma?
-这就对了 -小点声
- Oh, that's the stuff. - Keep your voice down.
我不想我女儿知道我在她生日时到这里来了
I don't want my daughter to know I'm in town on her birthday.
太郁闷了
This is so depressing.
我们租的房♥子有凹痕的车
Our rented house, our dented car,
我在五金店给你买♥♥的礼服衬衫
that dress shirt I bought you at the hardware store...
斯宾塞让我们以为自己会成有钱人