美式主妇

American Housewife S02E09

Part 4 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:23 p.m.

有两个班所以一共有48人
but there are two classes, so 48.
真有意思
So fun!
如果我现在走人
If I take off running right now,
我可以回家收拾行李
I can get home, pack,
明早就到加拿大了
and be in Canada by tomorrow morning.
你不能去加拿大
You are not going to Canada.
滚出我的脑袋
Get out of my head, man.
我很期待你们听我的故事
I'm really excited for you to hear my story.
非常精彩
It's pretty amazing.
最好很精彩
It better be amazing,
否则我会把自己锁在玩具箱里
or I'll lock myself in my toy chest
说你关了我一整晚
and say that you kept me there all night.
你不会的
You wouldn't.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
这里好黑
"It's so dark in here.
我无法呼吸
I can't...breathe!"
让我尝尝你的冰淇淋
Now give me a taste of your ice cream.
她们在分享
Aww, they're sharing.
我们是年度最佳父母
We're Parents of the Year.
见鬼格雷格快看
‭Oh, crap, Greg! Look!
不能让他们看到我们和这些小丑在一起
We can't be seen with these jokers.
你们谁想吃糖
Guys, who wants candy?
你总是说
You always say
我们不能一天吃两顿甜品
we're not allowed to have two sweets in one day.
小姑娘你♥爸♥让你吃糖
Young lady, when your father tells you to eat candy,
你就吃
you eat candy.
快来
Come on, come on!
安娜凯特的毛衣
Anna-Kat's sweater!
我想这是你掉的
Oh, I think you dropped this.
你掉的
You dropped it.
看
Hey, look! ‭
是我们新交的好友
It's our new best friends!
你们好
Hey, guys!
只是在随便逛逛
Just taking a leisurely stroll.
就我们两个我们每天都闲逛
Just the two of us, which we do every day.
因为我们有空
'Cause we have the time.
我们正准备打电♥话♥给你们
We were just about to call you guys.
是嘛
Oh, yeah!
我们决定去新罕布♥什♥尔的滑雪屋
Yeah, we decided to head up to our ski house in New Hampshire.
泡泡热水浴早上玩雪上摩托
Hit the hot tub, snowmobile in the morning,
明天回来
and then head back tomorrow.
普通的一日游
Classic H-T-Sno-mo.
太棒了
Sounds amazing!
我们希望你们也去
We'd love for you guys to come
如果你们今晚没安排的话
if you don't already have plans tonight.
我们不是有事情要做吗
Did we have something we were supposed to do?
非常重要的作者讨论会
Something about an up-and-coming authors symposium?
是的
Oh, yeah.
讨厌我想我们叫上...
Oh, shoot. Well, I guess we could ask --
不不不我们去
No, no, no! We're in!
很好我回头把地址发你
Okay, great. Hey, I'll text you the address.
-太好了 -好的
- Great. - All right.
过一夜
An overnighter.
这是巩固关系的办法
This is the way relationships are cemented.
如果我泡热水浴时穿T恤是不是很土鳖
Would it be lame if I wore a T-shirt in the hot tub?
对
Yeah.
我想她吃太多糖了
I think she's probably had enough sugar.
我知道这只是在新地方
I know it's just a kid-free night
和新朋友过一个没孩子的晚上
with new friends in a new place,
-但我超级兴奋 -我也是
- but I'm super-excited. - Me too.
这是在滑雪小屋闲逛的长裤
Are these good lounge-around- the-ski-lodge pants,
还是太像睡衣
or do they look too much like pajamas?
很好记得穿内♥裤♥
They're good. But wear underwear.
小弟不会太晃动
Reduce floppage.
对
Yes.
我拒绝为错过今晚安娜凯特的故事会而内疚
I refuse to feel guilty for missing Anna-Kat's reading tonight.
我们对自己也有责任
We have a responsibility to ourselves,
还有我们的关系
to our relationship,
对随意的夫妻晨间爱爱也有责任
to the Gods of Spontaneous Marital Morning Sex.
我爱那两个人我爱你们
I love those guys. I love you guys!
这里的一半父母
Half of the parents in this town
从来不陪孩子
spend zero time with their kids.
但他们会参加学校的每次活动
Then they put on this big show by going to every last school event,
好像这样他们就是好家长了
like that makes them good parents.
他们就是这样的
That's what they do.
完全就是
That's totally what they do.
她们会说我真是一个好妈妈
They're like, "Ooh! I'm such a good mother!
保姆喂他们吃饭女佣为他们打扫
The nanny feeds them, the maid cleans up after them,
但我在这里参加愚蠢的儿童读书节
but I'm here at the stupid Kid Lit Festival."
我是个非常好的爸爸
"Ooh, I'm an awesome dad,
我一周打72洞的高尔夫
I play 72 holes of golf a week
孩子们想和我说话时我在看短♥信♥
and read texts when my kids are trying to talk to me,
但看我现在
but look at me now!
我在前排
I'm in the front row,
用手♥机♥全录下来了
taping the whole thing on my phone
好像我不是一个彻底的混♥蛋♥
like I'm not a total douche."
这不是家长之道
And that's not parenting.
当然不是
It most certainly is not.
做家长是每天照顾孩子
Parenting is the daily grind of caring for kids
而且要辛苦地培养孩子们的性格
while doing the painstaking work of shaping their character.
这正是我们做的
That's what we do.
我们做的就是这些格雷格
That's all we do, Greg.
这就是我们全部的生活
That is our entire life.
事实上可以说我们不去参加故事会
In fact, one could argue that by skipping this event,
我们给安娜凯特上了一堂独♥立♥课
we're teaching Anna-Kat a lesson in independence.
对
Yes.
我们离开比留在那里更能支持她
By going away, we're actually being there for her more than if we stayed.
我相信
I buy that.
说真的安娜凯特上台后
So, for real, what happens when Anna-Kat's onstage
发现我们不在观众席上会怎样
and looks out in the audience and we're not there?
她不会有事的
She'll be fine.
我们给她买♥♥加馅料的冰淇淋
We'll buy her ice cream with extra toppings,
她就会忘掉的
and she'll get over it.
你是说
So you're saying
用一些捏碎的奥利奥饼干
for the price of a couple of crumbled-up Oreos,
我们就能找回我们的生活
we can reclaim our lives?
我加入
I'm in!
可以走了吗
We good to go?
对都打包好了
Yeah. Everything's packed.
安吉拉送孩子们去参加故事会
Angela's gonna take the kids to the Lit assembly
她晚上在我们家睡
and stay the night.
我告诉孩子们姑婆去世了
And I told the kids that their great aunt passed,
我们得参加葬礼
and we had to go to the funeral.
到现在死了几个姑婆了
How many great aunts is that now?
我想七个了他们还没发现
I think I'm up to seven, and they still haven't noticed.
我们要出发了
We're on our way,
完全不觉得内疚对吗
and we don't feel guilty at all, do we?
快走
Now floor it!
我们非常开心
We're having such an amazing time!
-真希望你们也在 -干杯
- Wish you were here! - ‭Cheers!
记得车道上的我们吗
Remember driveway us?
他们全想清楚了
They had it all figured out.
高速公路上的我们
Highway us,
一切开始崩溃
that's where it all started to crumble.
于是两只兔子坐在桌旁
...And so, the two rabbits sat down at the table
分享胡萝卜
and shared the carrot.
讲完了
The end.
太糟糕了
Well, that was awful.
我们做了正确的事
Still, we did the right thing.
尽管斑马身上有条纹
Although the zebra had stripes