美式主妇
American Housewife
第二季
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美式主妇
American Housewife S02E02
Part 4
Dec. 10, 2019, 2:22 p.m.
Nah, I got this.
你确定吗 你并不擅长即兴创作
Are you sure? You're not the greatest at winging it.
你想即兴创作我们的婚誓 结果
You tried to wing our wedding vows and wound up just
你只是重复了我的誓词 然后加上了
repeating my vows back to me, only adding a few
绝对绝对
"Totally totally's."
我说 你是我的日月
Like, I said, "You are my sun and moon,"
到你时你说
and when it was your turn, you said,
你绝对绝对是我的日月
"You are totally totally my sun and moon."
别担心我的介绍
Stop worrying about my presentation.
只是三个没事干的妈妈坐在午餐桌前
It's just three ding-aling moms sitting around a lunch table.
她们会听到"快乐海滩"
They'll hear "Beach blanket bingo"
开心到要去打紧急肉毒杆菌针
and be so happy that they'll have to get emergency Botox
来掩饰笑纹
to hide their smile lines.
我的天 我们养了只奇怪的狗
Oh, my God! We got a weird dog!
你好 奇怪的狗
Hi. Hi, weird dog.
-泰拉 -凯蒂
- Tara. - Katie.
你当然是委员会的
Of course you're on the committee.
不 我是来看热闹的
No, I'm here for fun.
我清空日程表来看观众们
I cleared my schedule to watch you crash and burn
让你崩溃
from the audience.
观众
Audience?
这些人什么毛病
What is wrong with these people?
只是愚蠢筹款晚会的主题而已
It is just a theme for a dumb fundraiser.
别害怕 想点开心的
Don't freak out. Think of something happy.
老天 那个安全气囊把格雷格的脸砸得好惨
God, that airbag hit Greg in the face so hard.
有趣 随意 野餐篮
Fun. Casual. Picnic baskets...
桃红葡萄酒
that pink wine...
坐在毯子上
sitting on blankets...
沙
sand...
通心粉沙拉
macaroni salad...
这是泰拉·萨莫斯建议的
...is what Tara Summers suggested we do.
但我告诉泰拉 这是筹款晚会 不是土风舞会
But I told Tara, "This is a fundraiser, not a hoedown."
愚蠢的泰拉
Silly, stupid Tara.
针对泰拉的建议 我推介的是宝莱坞
What I'm pitching, against Tara's advice, is Bollywood!
还有你无法想象的壮观和华丽
With more spectacle and pageantry than you can even imagine.
没错
Yes. Yes!
想象下富丽堂皇的白巧克力泰姬陵
Picture the opulence of a white chocolate Taj Mahal.
美味的食物 主要都是肉
Delicious food, all meat-based.
所有舞者佩戴着弯刀 穿着金色灯笼裤
And dancers with curvy swords wearing gold M.C. Hammer pants.
她知道我的意思
She knows what I'm talkin' about!
最后 盛大闭幕 我们将有...
And, for our big finale, we are going to have...
有什么呢
What are we gonna have?
大象
Elephants!
没错 披着天鹅绒的大象
That's right, elephants cloaked in velvet!
谁骑在大象上呢
And who's riding that elephant?
谁 凯蒂 谁骑在大象上
Who, Katie? Who's riding the elephant?
谁会让那位女士兴奋起来
Who's gonna get that lady all excited?
ABC《灵书妙探》的男主演内森·菲利安
Nathan Fillion from ABC's "Castle"!
我喜欢他演的卡塞尔
I love Castle!
他是我的幻想对象
He's my Hall Pass.
太棒了
Yes!
我死定了
I am so screwed.
我们想警告你
We tried to warn you.
你认识内森·菲利安
You know Nathan Fillion?
多瑞丝 你们至少聊过一万小时的天
Doris, you and I have talked for at least 10,000 hours.
如果我认识他的话 你不是早知道了吗
Don't you think you'd know if I knew Nathan Fillion?!
这次是因为你
That's for you.
我不擅长即兴创作
I'm not good at winging it.
真不敢相信我对一个喂小猪奶瓶的男人这样说
I can't believe I'm saying this to a man bottle-feeding a pig,
但我应该听你的
but I should have listened to you.
结果我却听了你的
But instead, I listened to you.
你为什么听了你的
Why did I listen to you?
我们不是男人 我们是奥图
We're not men, we're Ottos!
我现在应该和爱丽丝在她的船上
I should be with Alice on her boat right now,
穿着紧的恰到好处的欧式泳裤
sitting at the raw bar in my just-the-right-amount-of-tight
坐在贝壳类自助吧
European-style swimsuit.
你是对的 我应该让你阻止我
You were right. I should have let you stop me.
不 你也是对的 我不应该即兴创作
No, you were right, too. I shouldn't have winged it.
只是很难搞清楚何时说"好"
It's just hard to know when to say "Okay"
何时叫停一个愚蠢的主意
and when to stop a dumb idea.
看来我们只有互相支持
So I guess we just have to support one another,
抱乐观态度 然后一起解决不好的后果
hope for the best, and deal with the fallout together.
成交
Deal.
真高兴你同意了 因为
Oh, good, I'm glad you're agreeing, 'cause...
你离开的时候 小猪咬了
while you were gone, the pig chewed that
你在学校失物招领处拿的名牌包
Coach purse you picked up at the school lost and found.
对不起
I'm sawwy.
真不敢相信
I can't believe
你在董事会面前让我出丑
you humiliated me in front of the Board of Directors.
真不敢相信你不敢相信我会这样做
I can't believe you can't believe I wouldn't do that.
知道吗 值了
You know what? It was worth it.
因为你不可能做到你承诺的一半
Because there's no way that you're gonna pull off even half of those promises.
董事会会将你钉上十字架
The Board will crucify you.
到时我会看热闹
And I'll be there to watch.
这是什么
What is this?!
火鸡
A turkey.
埃约 我们走
Eyo! We're leaving.
妈
Hey, Mom.
你和泰勒谈了大学吗
Did you and Taylor talk about college?
-谈了 -然后呢
- We did. - And?
然后
And...
我决定我不想做麻醉医师
I've decided I don't want to be an anesthesiologist.
什么
What?
我要学漫画
I'm gonna study manga.
-什么 -我爱漫画
- What?! - Manga is my passion.
不 你爱的是在手术前安全地麻醉病人
No. Safely sedating a patient before surgery is your passion!
在这里待了一个下午
One afternoon in this house
他就想抛弃大好前程去涂鸦
and he wants to throw his life away on doodles!
拜拜 泰拉 希望再也不见
Bye, Tara. See you never, I hope.
没开玩笑 你快走
Not kidding. Hey, you, get out.
他没说服你上大学
So, instead of him convincing you to go to college,
你却说服他不上大学
somehow you convinced him not to go to college?
我只是支持了他 就像你们说的
I just supported him like you guys have been talking about.
你们真的选择了最不该听我们话的时候听话
You kids honestly picked the worst time to listen to us.
别管我们 我们把它放在车♥库♥
Don't mind us! We'll store it in the garage.
很好 把另一边门撞出坑 对称了
Oh, good, dent the other door. Even things out.
那盏灯需要被狠狠推倒
Hup, that lamp needed a good knocking-over.
我们挪开了钢琴
Oh, we cleared the piano.
不好 你打破了你妈送我们的陶瓷猫头鹰
Oh, no! You broke the ceramic owl your mother gave us.
你故意的
You did that on purpose.
没错 但你往家里带了只活猪
True, but you brought home a live pig.
你要打这张猪牌多长时间
How long are you gonna play the pig card?
一只猪能活多久
How long does a pig live?
平均来讲15年
On average, about 15 years.
见鬼
Oh, crap.
我和汉斯·格鲁伯要上楼了
Me and Hans Gruber are going upstairs.
我会给它洗澡
I'm going to give him a bath.
你给小猪改名叫汉斯·格鲁伯
You renamed the pig Hans Gruber?
对 他在我最新的最爱的电影
Yeah. He tried to kill Bruce Willis
《虎胆龙威》中想杀死布鲁斯·威利斯
in my new favorite movie, "Die Hard."
你看了《虎胆龙威》
You watched "Die Hard"?
对 和妈妈一起看的
Yeah, with Mama.
宝贝 妈妈和安娜凯特电影时间的规矩是什么
Sweetie, what is the rule about Mama/Anna-Kat movie time?
如果爸爸问起来 永远说看的是《神偷奶爸》
"If Daddy asks, we always watched 'Despicable Me.'"
对了 汉斯·格鲁伯是小黄人
Oh, right. Hans Gruber's a minion.
容我说一句 你不应该知道的
In my defense, you weren't supposed to find out about it.
这个理由不错
It's a good defense.
美式主妇
American Housewife
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