美式主妇

American Housewife S02E08

Part 4 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:23 p.m.

如果你又是来抱怨的
If you're here to complain again,
现在素食日也有荤菜了
we now have a meat option on vegan day.
我需要你帮忙解决库珀·布拉福德的事
I need your help with the Cooper Bradford situation.
你需要解除他的停学
You need to unsuspend him.
首先你不是他的父母
First, you're not his parent.
而且你知道库珀·布拉福德的情况吗
And do you even know what the Cooper Bradford situation is?
不知道但能有多坏
No. But how bad can it be?
他给数学课上的聪明孩子钱
He paid the smart kids in his math class
让他们考砸期中考降低平均分
to tank their midterm and lower the curve
这样他不用学习
so he didn't have to study.
太可怕了
That's terrible.
是的
Yeah. It is.
想当年如果要作弊
Back in my day, if you wanted to cheat,
把公式写在大腿上就行
you'd just write the formulas on your upper thigh
如果被老师发现就说他是变♥态♥
and then call the teacher a pervert if he busted you.
重点不是他作弊的方式
It's not so much how he cheated.
而是他作弊了
It's that he cheated.
我懂但我的问题是
Yeah, I got it, but here's my problem --
我得解决库珀的麻烦
I have to get Cooper out of trouble,
否则整个春季晚会就完了
otherwise the whole Spring Gala falls apart on me.
因为晚会是学校
And since the Gala is where a large amount
主要募集资金的来源
of the funding for the school comes from,
没有钱其他事情也会完蛋
without it, other things fall apart, too.
比如说翻新老师休息室的新计划
Like the new planned renovation of the teachers' lounge
我刚想到的
that I just thought of.
奥图太太两个最聪明的孩子
Mrs. Otto, two of our brightest kids
因为这事被取消参加数学竞赛资格
were dis-invited from the Math-a-lathon because of this.
他们还能参加生物奥赛
We're lucky they're still allowed to compete
已经算我们运气好了
in the Biolog-a-lympics.
我们来谈谈
Okay, let's me and you talk,
穷♥人♥对穷♥人♥
poor person to poor person.
我很好谢谢
I do very well, thank you.
-我开的是伊兰特 -闭嘴
- I drive an Elantra. ‭- Stop it.
我们都是穷♥人♥ 我们知道
We're both a couple of poors, and we know it.
富人总是利用我们穷♥人♥
And the rich people are always using us poors
来达到他们的目的
for what they want.
你不觉得是时候几个穷♥人♥
Don't you think it's time that a couple of poors
利用富人来达到我们的目的吗
use one of the richies for what we want?
我听说市里有人想送出高级沙发
I hear rumor of a very nice sofa being offered around town.
上面绣了"多瑞丝"的金字
It says "Doris" On it in gold?
我的猫叫多瑞丝
My cat's name is Doris.
立正
Your attention!
英国人包围了我们
The British have surrounded us!
在大屠♥杀♥开始前
But before we begin the massacre,
我要先说下规矩
I'd like to go over the rules.
跟以前一样我们用"嘣"
As per usual, we will be using verbal "Bangs"
代表开枪
to represent shots fired.
而且保罗会在中枪人身上粘贴纸
Also, Paul will place stickers on victims
表示他们中枪了
to indicate they've been hit.
好的大屠♥杀♥开始
Okay! Commence massacre!
瞄准开枪
Aim! Fire!
开火
Fire!
开火
Fire!
开火
Fire!
开火
Fire!
我中枪了
I'm hit!
肩膀不是吧
Shoulder? Really?
飞弹
Ricochet.
死得漂亮宝贝
Excellent death, honey.
谢谢你爸
Thanks, Dad.
我不能弄脏裤子
I can't get these pants dirty.
上次干洗费好贵
Last time, they were so expensive to dry clean.
泰勒快死
Taylor, die.
不
No.
你又中枪了快躺下
You're shot again! Go down!
不
No!
炮弹
Cannonball!
你给我马上死小姑娘
You will die right now, young lady!
不爸
No, Dad!
这太不公平了
This is totally unfair!
因为与历史不符我就不能做士兵
I can't be a soldier because it's historically inaccurate?
但大家只是喊"嘣"
But people are just yelling "Bang."
有个人给大家贴标签
And there's a guy putting stickers on people
表示他们中枪了
to show they've been shot.
你可以无视这些东西
You're fine overlooking these things
但不能让女孩做士兵吗
but not letting girls be soldiers?
护士你现在马上死
Nurse, you will die now!
不准吼我的女儿
Don't yell at my daughter.
躺回去奥图列兵
Back on the ground, Private Otto,
否则我把你关栅栏
or I'll send you to the stockade.
不你会的埃利奥特
No, you won't, Elliot.
你好大的胆子
How dare you?
我是第五营的博勒加德上尉
I am Captain Beauregard of the Fifth Battalion!
不你是埃利奥特·格雷迪
No, you're Elliot Grady.
你在商场外面的小摊
You sell lambs' wool car-seat covers
卖♥♥羊毛车座垫
out of a kiosk in the Stamford Mall.
别再用还没发明的词
Stop using words that haven't been invented yet!
我女儿说得对
Look, my daughter is right.
没什么是百分百精确的
None of this is 100% accurate.
吉姆戴着彩色美瞳
Jim wears color contacts.
是很漂亮但是拜托这哪里符合史实
They're stunning, sure, but come on, accurate?
而且你知道你穿着弹力袜
And I happen to know that you wear support socks!
我的脚踝有静脉炎
I have phlebitis in my ankles!
我意思是
All I'm saying is --
我女儿的要求错了吗
is what my daughter's asking for so wrong?
我提醒大家这是西港大屠♥杀♥
May I remind you all that this is the Westport Massacre!
对不起
I'm sorry.
这是康宝汤西港大屠♥杀♥
This is the Chunky Soup Westport Massacre!
我想带我的吸入器
I want to bring my inhaler.
我想戴我的背部纠正器
I want to wear my back brace.
我想带橄榄球在休息的时间玩
I'd like to bring a football to throw during down times.
保罗让他们排队
Paul, get these men in line.
嘣
Bang.
我死了
Oh, I die?
我死了
I die?
你知道什么和我一起死了吗
Okay, you know what dies with me?
我的网飞密♥码♥
My Netflix password.
你没想到这点吧
Yeah, didn't think that one through, did you?
不取消我的死
Nope. No, un-die me!
-谢谢你爸 -这样做才正确
- Thanks, Dad. - It was the right thing to do.
抱歉我没有早些支持你
I'm sorry I didn't support you sooner.
希望这话能安慰你
If it makes you feel any better,
我想我明白了你为什么喜欢历史
I think I actually get what you like about history.
-是吗 -是的
- You do? ‭- Yeah.
参加小小的革命
Being a part of a mini revolution
反抗暴君
and standing up to a tyrant,
帮助我明白
it kind of helps me understand
那些人的感受
how those people really must've felt.
宝贝
Aw, honey.
你有勇气坚守自己所信仰的
I'm so proud of you for having the courage
我为你骄傲
to stand up for what you believe in.
你自己了解了革命
And that you learned about the Revolution by yourself.
不爸你在我这里学会了
No, Dad. You learned it to me.
正确的说法是
Actually, the proper --
没关系
You know what? Who cares?
我们在彼此那里学会了
We learned it to each other.
-庆祝什么 -我自♥由♥了
- Oh, what's the celebration? - I'm a free man.
奥图太太让阿布林校长解除了我的停学
Mrs. Otto got Principal Ablin to unsuspend me.
把多瑞丝的沙发给他挽救了晚会
By giving him Doris' sofa, thereby saving the Gala.
慢着你贿赂了校长
Wait, you bribed the principal?