美式主妇

American Housewife S02E07

Part 3 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:23 p.m.

我要拍一些日常生活镜头
I'm going to be getting some slice-of-life footage.
假装我不在
Pretend I'm not here...
除非是派甜甜圈
unless you're giving out doughnut holes.
那我希望你们看到我了
Then I would like to be recognized.
最近读过什么有趣的东西吗
Read anything interesting lately?
说来有趣是的
Oh, funny you should ask. Yes.
我在重新看我以前的论文
I just re-read my old dissertation,
可以看出我年轻的时候
and you can tell, from even a young age,
就相当了不得
I was something special.
你就穿这个吗牛仔裤
This is what you're wearing? Jeans?
是的
Yeah.
你再多话
And if you say anything more about it,
我就解开文胸一切都会失控
I'm losing the bra, and then all hell breaks loose.
我们说好了的
We had an agreement. ‭
格雷格我们私下聊聊好吗
Greg, can I speak to you one second in private?
开胃菜好了
Okay, the appetizers are done.
如果我把烤箱调到600 火鸡能快点好吗
If I turn the oven to 600, will the turkey cook faster?
不是这样的油会烧起来
It doesn't work that way. Grease would catch fire.
整栋房♥子会烧掉
The whole house would burn down.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
安娜凯特让我们静静
Anna-Kat, give us a moment.
你姐姐在为男孩烦心
Your, uh...sister's worried about a boy.
你怎么知道的
How do you know that?
我这辈子都在学习如何看人
Well, I spent my life learning how to read people.
这样我才会在商业上成功
It's how I became successful in business
也是这样我才知道在精神日囚犯对守卫时
and how I knew where the warden hid the flag
监狱长把旗子
when it was prisoners versus guards
藏在哪里
on Spirit Day.
听起来真不错
That sounds great.
如果我以后进联邦监狱我一定提到你
If I ever go to federal prison, I'm using you as a reference.
我还看出来你爷爷奶奶之间关系紧张
I also see tension between your grandparents.
注意到他们牵手时
Notice they're only holding hands
只碰指尖
by the fingertips.
这你就错了
You're wrong about that one.
我的爷爷奶奶一直是模范夫妻
My grandparents have always been the perfect couple.
相信我
Trust me.
人们想掩饰真实目的时
People often put on an act
一定会做戏
when they're hiding their true intentions.
我听说你这里有好红酒
I hear you have good wine.
最好的
Oh, the best!
来自托马斯·杰斐逊的私人珍藏
It's from Thomas Jefferson's personal collection.
世上只剩三瓶
One of only three bottles left.
年代越久远越是完美
With age comes perfection.
越有智慧
And wisdom.
再见
Goodbye.
她好喜欢我
She is so into me!
不管是自大还是高龄
Whether it's arrogance or senility,
都非常适合你我的朋友
you wear it well, my friend.
我不喜欢他这样对你
I don't like how he treats you.
你就承认他是个冷血无情的混♥蛋♥
Just admit that he is a cold, withholding jerk,
我就继续配合你
and I'll get back on board.
-我父亲是个伟大的人 -如果他这么伟大
- My father is a great man. - If he is so great,
他为什么还没提到你的书
then why hasn't he said anything about your book?
我相信解释起来很容易
I'm sure there's a simple explanation.
他没有电邮所以我寄的是打印件
He doesn't have e-mail, so I sent him a copy. ‭
包裹太大塞不进邮箱
The package was too big for the slot,
所以快递员藏在了盆栽后面
so they hid it behind the ficus.
藏在那里可不好
That's not a great hiding place.
可能被人拿走有可能是动物
Someone could have taken it -- an animal, perhaps.
你知道松鼠
Did you know that squirrels
可以搬动十倍于体重的东西吗
can carry up to ten times their own body weight?
我不知道
No, I didn't know that.
但我知道我要马上出去
But what I do know is I'm gonna go out there
和我的荡♥妇♥妈妈大醉一场
and get plastered with my tramp mom,
假如她没被松鼠拐走的话
provided she is not abducted by squirrels.
然后詹米·凯恩说
And then Jimmy Caan said,
好厉害的转机
"That was one hell of a lay over!"
跟他们讲讲那次你的腿滑进了马桶
Tell the part where your leg slipped in the toilet,
你上晚餐时脚是蓝色的
and you had to do dinner service with a blue foot.
不没事我们去找奥利弗谈谈
No, that's okay. Let's go talk to Oliver.
他在跳芭蕾
He's involved in ballet.
好我们去
Yes. Let's.
让他们吃惊真好玩
It's so fun shocking them.
我甚至还没开始讲
You know, I haven't even broken the seal yet
双性取向的故事
about the bi-curious stories yet. ‭
瞧咱们
Look at us.
终于合得来了
We're finally getting along!
是啊我们最紧密的联♥系♥
Yeah, well... our tightest bond
一直是对他人毒舌
has always been in the criticism of others.
他们真是毫无疑问是...
Oh, they are, without a doubt --
安娜凯特妈妈要说一些话
Anna-Kat, Mama is gonna say words she uses
是在超♥市♥时
when she's behind
前面交钱的人写支票时我说的
someone writing a check at the grocery store.
你去拍你的爷爷奶奶好吗
Could you film your grandparents instead?
哈佛总是会招男性芭蕾舞演员
And Harvard's always looking for male ballerinos.
所以我能进去
That's my ticket in.
好复杂的阴谋诡计
What complex machinations.
慢着有灵感
Oh, wait, wait. Something's brewing.
杂计你好新词汇
"Complexinations!" Well, hello, new word.
欢迎来到这个世界
Welcome to the world.
其实家里有不少与文化
There's actually quite a few cultural things happening
有关的事跳舞
in this house -- dancing...
写作
writing.
对
Right.
真是够了
Oh, enough already.
托马斯你看了格雷格的书吗
Thomas, have you read Greg's damn book?
看了
yes.
谢谢
Thank you.
有要补充的吗
Anything to add?
不用谢
You're welcome.
非常好
Well, great.
我还担心你家闹松鼠
I was worried you had a squirrel problem.
格雷格的父亲那个自大的混♥蛋♥
And Greg's father, that pompous jerk,
坐在那里什么也没说
just sat there and didn't say anything.
那时候我溜出来给你们发紧急短♥信♥
That's when I snuck out and gave you guys the 911 text.
我很高兴你发了
Oh, well, I'm glad you did.
我很开心能逃离家人
I'm happy to get away from my family.
我说我内♥裤♥上有血需要躺着
I told them I was spotting and had to lie down.
听到有血后没人会问问题
No one questions you after you drop the word "Spotting."
还有反转
Here's a twist.
我和我妈合得来生格雷格的气
I'm getting along with my mom, but I'm mad at Greg
更气他父亲那样对他
and super-mad at the way his father treats him.
我又气格雷格又想保护他
So I'm both pissed at and protective of Greg.
我非常矛盾
I'm very conflicted.
你们想去精神上支持我吗
Do you want to come back with me for moral support?
不行我内♥裤♥上有血
Can't. I'm spotting.
我也是
Me too.
我从食物施舍处回来了
Back from the soup kitchen.
哪个食物施舍处
What soup kitchen?
这里的亲爱的
The one in here, honey.
好吧瞎编的
Okay. So just nonsense. Right.
好的妈妈回来了
Okay! Mom is home!
我想请大家入席
I would like to invite everybody to the dinner table.
菜里有淀粉吗我会胀气
You're serving starches? They make me bloat.
我可以先吃胃药但我们必须等...
I can take a Zantac, but we'll have to wait for --
大家都给我快入席
Let's just move to the damn table already!
快点
Come on.
好了
All right.
我开始喜欢你了
‭I'm really starting to like you.
谢谢你外婆
Thanks, Grandma. ‭