美式主妇

American Housewife S02E14

Part 4 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:24 p.m.

Cops!
散开逃跑我们家里见
Scatter! We'll meet at the house!
不知道这能不能安慰到你
If it makes you feel any better,
但好歹你老婆没有跟你挚友上♥床♥啊
at least your wife didn't sleep with your best friend,
就像"实习医生格蕾"里的梦幻先生
like McDreamy.
不过你得先有个挚友才行
Oh, but then you'd have to have a best friend first.
真会说话啊梦幻白♥痴♥
Way to go, McDummy.
两位你们妈妈就是我的挚友
Guys, your mom is my best friend.
但问题是我不能在想躲她时
Problem is, I can't meet her for drinks
又邀请她跟我出去喝酒谈心
when I'm trying to get away from her.
要命了我得躺下
Oh, my God! I got to lay down!
不行我没力走到沙发那里了
I can't. I can't make it to the couch.
奥利弗人呢
W-Where's Oliver?
他马上就会到
He'll be here in a second.
他脚程比我快
He's faster than me,
但我走的是最短距离的捷径
but I kind of went as the crow flies.
你几岁了
How old are you?
18岁
18.
行尽情享用
Okay, have at it.
发生什么事了
What happened?
我们必须得分散逃跑
We had to scatter!
而我胖啊格雷格
And I'm fat, Greg!
我胖所以跑起来比较辛苦
I'm a big girl, so it was harder for me!
为了什么事分散逃跑
Scatter from what?
喂
Hello?
是我
Yes, this is he.
真的不好意思警官
Oh, I'm...sorry to hear that, officer.
好的我们马上过去
Yes, we'll be right down.
分散逃离警♥察♥
Scatter from the cops.
我真不敢相信你害我们儿子被抓
I can't believe you got our son arrested.
你这话像跳针一样说个不停
You keep saying that over and over again.
说点新的吧
Let's move on.
那你想我怎么做啊
What was I supposed to do?
不要害他被逮捕啊
Not get him arrested?
我以前就曾经因为
I've been caught by the cops
去火烈鸟人家的草坪被抓过了格雷格
for flamingoing lawns before, Greg.
他们只会小小处罚
They give you a slap on the wrist.
有时候还会约你出去呢
Sometimes, they ask you out.
有时候你还会跟警官
Sometimes, you end up going to the prom
去毕业舞会呢
with a police officer.
相信我小事一桩啦
Trust me -- it's not a big deal.
希望是你说的这样
I hope you're right.
还记得我们搬来这里之前吗
Remember before we moved here?
奥利弗没那么较真
Oliver was less serious.
他比较傻乐
He was goofier.
然后我们搬来了西港
And then we come to Westport,
他开始纠结那些不该纠结的事情
and he has gotten obsessed with all the wrong things.
而现在他走上了那条路了
And now he's on that path.
那条路上有很多好东西啊
There's a lot of good things on that path,
比如努力与好大学
like hard work and a great college.
我没有想要让他不走这条路
I don't want him off the path.
我只是希望他在路上时也能有快乐
I just want him to have fun along the way.
我很担心如果他没得到快乐
And I'm afraid if he doesn't,
他最后会像斯坦一样搞到精神崩溃
he's gonna end up like Stan and have a nervous breakdown.
你上一次听到他的笑声是什么时候
I mean, when was the last time you heard him laugh?
我好想念他的笑声
I miss that.
我也很想念
I miss it, too.
我真是不敢相信你害我们儿子被逮捕
I can't believe you got our son arrested!
他应该开溜的啊
He was supposed to scatter!
我们来接我们的儿子奥利弗·奥图
We're here to pick up our son -- Oliver Otto.
奥利弗·奥图是的
Oliver Otto -- right.
我们还不能放他
We can't release him to you just yet.
你们打算关他个一小时之类的
You want to keep him for, like, an hour or so,
吓唬吓唬他你们是在想这个吗
put a scare into him -- is that what you're thinking?
不是你儿子惹得麻烦大了
No, your son is in real trouble.
他犯了非法入侵
He was caught trespassing,
还造成了可观的财产损害
and he caused substantial property damage.
布朗·米勒太太是个选举参选人
Mrs. Brown Mueller is a political candidate,
所以这是特殊情况
so there's an extra set of special circumstances.
这叫火烈鸟草坪在佛罗里达...
It's flamingoing. In Florida --
这里不是佛罗里达
This isn't Florida!
你们听过一个词叫"零容忍♥"吗
Are you familiar with the term "zero tolerance"?
因为你们现在问题是这个
Because that's what you're up against.
他在官方选举材料上画了性器官
He drew genitalia on official election materials.
那我能提交保释金带他回家吗
Can I at least post bail and bring him home?
当然可以等到他被传讯后即可
Of course -- right after he's arraigned,
这大概是两天后吧
which is in about two days.
两天吗
Two days?!
火烈鸟人家草坪不需要关一个孩子到两天吧
You cannot keep a kid in jail for two days for flamingoing.
这算是一级轻罪了
This is a Class "A" misdemeanor.
你们最好去请个律师
You'll probably want to hire an attorney,
因为这种事情
because this is the kind of thing
将会被记录到他的永久记录上
that goes on your permanent record.
天啊格雷格永久记录
Oh, my God, Greg! Permanent record!
这会害他上不了大学的
This'll prevent him from going to college!
我们该怎么办啊
What are we going to do?!
整到你啦
Gotcha!
-什么 -我整到你啦
- What?! - I got you!
特殊情况零容忍♥ 太赞了
Special circumstances, zero tolerance? Classic!
我紧张的时候很容易笑场
I always giggle when I'm nervous.
差点就笑出来
I almost giggled.
你真应该看看你的表情啊妈
You should have seen your face, Mom.
整个人都吓坏了
You were totally freaked out.
你为什么要做这种事
Why in the world would you do that?
因为没有什么比整人更有趣了
Because nothing is more fun than messing with people.
你真是个好学生啊
You really are a good student.
你刚才"天啊格雷格
You were, like, "Oh, my God, Greg!
永久记录"
Permanent record"!
你找到他的笑声啦
Well, you found his laugh.
是啊
Yeah.
原来我没想象中那么想念
I didn't miss it as much as I thought I did.
所以等轮到我被逮捕时
So, when I get arrested,
你也会为我办一场晚餐会吗
are you going to throw a dinner in my honor?
我不太喜欢她说"等轮到"
I don't like how she said "When".
我想让你们知道我退出中文课了
You should know that I've decided to quit Mandarin.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
对啊我打算改学拉丁文
Yeah, I'm gonna take Latin instead.
这是个没人说的死语言
It's a dead language.
杰里米·弗莱舍的父母可以做到很多事
Jeremy Fleisher's parents can do a lot of things,
但他们不能买♥♥到个死人给他
but they can't buy him a dead person.
-你好请进 -你好吗
- Hi! Come on in. - How are you?
天啊警♥察♥ 奥利弗快跑
Oh, my God -- cops. Oliver, run!
别安娜凯特没事的
No, Anna-Kat, it's okay.
我们在警局时聊上了几句
We got to talking in the station.
我发现我们有挺多共同兴趣
I found out we have a lot of the same interests.
你交了个新朋友吗
You made a friend?
对啊我们都是集邮者
That's right. We're both philatelists.
格雷格是我见过最有热情的
Greg is one of the most passionate philatelists
集邮者之一了
I've ever met.
音近fellate 口♥交♥
我知道你们说的词
I know it means something different
不是我想的那个意思
than what I'm thinking it means.
意思是搜集邮票
It means stamp collecting.
这就对了
There it is.