美式主妇

American Housewife S02E04

Part 3 Dec. 10, 2019, 2:23 p.m.

- I actually took a job this afternoon. ‭- Oh, doing what?
替斯宾塞跑腿直到他可以合法地
Running errands for Spencer until he's legally permitted
离开房♥子半英里以外
to step outside a half-mile radius of his property.
他叫我
That's him right now.
-这是呼机吗 -是不是好酷
- Is that a beeper? - ‭Isn't it cool?
像手♥机♥ 但什么也做不了
It's like a cellphone, only it does nothing.
我得走了斯宾塞让我
I've got to roll. Spencer asked me to get
买♥♥水晶百事可乐和叫摩丝的东西
Crystal Pepsi and something called mousse.
你去哪里
Where are you going? ‭
-我跟你说过去梅兰妮家 -你不去
- I told you, to Melanie's. - ‭No, you're not.
我要兑现
Because I am redeeming
母亲节你送我的赠券
the Mother's Day coupons you gave me.
别这么奇怪那是我十岁时送你的
Don't be weird. I gave those to you when I was like 10.
这上面没有过期日期
I don't see an expiration date.
这有张冰淇淋周日
Here's one for an ice cream "Zunday"...
"周日"都拼写错了
spelled with a Z.
我不会待在满屋虫子的房♥子
I am not hanging out in a house crawling with bugs.
我已经控制了局面
I have that problem under control.
是吗
Yeah?
那你为什么一直抓脑袋
Then why do you keep itching your head?
我没抓
I'm not itching.
我在刺♥激♥毛囊
I'm stimulating the follicles
因为女性秃头
because of female-pattern baldness.
你也会有这天
It's coming for you, too.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我的头顶就是一只
The top of my head is just lice
长了头发的虱子
with some hair around it.
你不能逼我待在满是虱子的房♥子里
You can't make me hang out in a lice-infested house.
你要失去她了凯蒂
You're losing her, Katie.
快想办法
Do something.
泰勒等等
Taylor, wait!
我要这样做吗
Should I?
不
No.
但我还是要这样做
And yet I'm doing it.
虱子帽
Lice hat!
现在我们一起长虫子
Now we're infested together.
我的天你疯了吗
Oh, my God! Have you gone insane?!
请在屋内给我十个免费拥抱
I will take my 10 free hugs inside, please.
里面怎么样
What's it like on the inside?
我给泰勒除虱子时
Taylor totally ignored me
她全程无视我
while I was combing lice out of her hair.
现在她躲在房♥里不出来
Now she's holed up in her room and won't come out.
奇怪
Huh. Weird.
我想你可以试着让她染上臭虫
I guess you could try giving her bedbugs.
那是冲动下的决定
It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.
而且奥利弗在你眼皮底下
Besides, Oliver has become a runner
给罪犯跑腿
for a criminal on your watch.
我们都犯了错
Okay, we've both made mistakes.
我强迫泰勒共度母女时光
Am I crazy for trying to force Taylor
是我疯了吗
to spend mother/daughter time?
不我懂
No, I get it.
你只是紧张因为在你还没意识到...
You're just anxious because, before you know it...
汽车广♥告♥
Subaru commercial...
好了
Okay.
你打算怎么处理奥利弗的事
How are you gonna handle the Oliver situation?
如果我禁止他见斯宾塞
Well, if I forbid him from seeing Spencer,
只会让他更想过去
it's just gonna make him want to go over there more,
所以我会找斯宾塞聊聊
so I'm gonna have a chat with Spencer
制定一些基本规矩
and set some ground rules.
你对泰勒有什么打算
What's your move with Taylor?
我去找安吉拉和多瑞丝要建议
I'm gonna go get some advice from Angela and Doris.
如果不对我可以怪她们
So if it goes wrong, I can blame them.
看到你不止对我一人用这招
It's nice to see I'm not the only one
真是太好了
you use that technique on.
对别担心
Yeah, but don't worry.
你永远是我最爱的替罪羊
You'll always be my favorite person to blame.
真幸福
That's sweet.
我不知道怎么办
I don't know what to do.
泰勒一夜之间长大
Taylor grew up overnight
不想再和我待在一起
and doesn't want to spend time with me,
安娜凯特把虱子传染给我了
and Anna-Kat gave me lice.
你长了虱子
You have lice?!
虱子辫子
Lice braids!
长过虱子过去式全梳理下来了
Had lice -- past tense. Combed 'em all out.
第一次梳理不一定能清理干净
Combing doesn't always work the first time.
真不敢相信你抱了我
I can't believe you hugged me.
怎样我长了虱子就不能来餐厅
So what?! I'm supposed to not go to restaurants
抱朋友们
and hug my friends when I have lice?
是的
Uh, yes.
多瑞丝说点什么
Doris, say something.
我怀孕三个月了
I'm three months pregnant.
什么
What? ‭
所以我体内也有
So I also have a parasite
寄生虫在吸取营养
sucking the nutrients out of my body.
怎么会这样
How did that happen?
我在床上喝白葡萄酒
I was in bed guzzling Chardonnay
看菲尔普斯和鲨鱼比赛
and watching Michael Phelps race a shark.
我太激动一下跳到理查德身上
Then I got so worked up that I jumped Richard
好像是每月17号♥那样
like it was the 17th of the month!
做♥爱♥日
That's our bone day.
我的天
Oh, my God.
-感觉如何 -气死了
- How are you feeling? ‭- Pissed!
快生第四个孩子快气死了
Pissed that I'm about to have my fourth child!
只剩八年老幺就上普林斯顿了
I had eight years until my youngest left for Princeton --
2025年9月10日
September 10, 2025.
那时我会飞去马略卡岛
Then I would jet off to Majorca,
在悬崖上找处别♥墅♥
find a little villa on a cliff,
学习雕刻
learn to sculpt,
也许遇到一位爱人
maybe take a lover --
可能是我的雕刻老师
possibly my sculpting teacher.
现在这个小家伙推后了我的终点线
Now this little creature moved my finish line.
等我去马略卡岛时
By the time I get to Majorca,
我就太老了我的雕刻老师
I'm gonna be so old that my sculpting teacher
将拒绝我的主动求爱
is gonna rebuff my aggressive advances.
我受到的教育是
Look, I come from a place
万事发生皆有因
where everything happens for a reason.
虽说这不是你计划
This may not be part of your plan,
但显然这是上天的安排
but it's obviously part of the universe's plan.
我知道了
Oh! I see.
如果我用这把叉子用力戳你
So if I poke you hard with this fork,
这也是上天的安排吗
is that also part of the universe's plan?
-是吗安吉拉 -别对我发火
- Is it, Angela?! - Don't be mad at me.
又不是我将"几乎不做♥爱♥"
I'm not the one who uses "Rarely having sex"
作为节育工具
as a form of birth control.
我应该再生一个吗重新开始
Should I have another baby, get a fresh start?
你疯了吗我才不会生孩子
Are you crazy?! I'm not having a baby.
我只需要想办法亲近已经有的孩子
I have to figure out a way to get closer to the one I have.
她们在看你
They're looking at you.
说点什么
Say something.
-避孕膜 -正是
- Diaphragm. - Exactly.
运气真好
Whew! I got lucky on that one.
赠券本上还有什么
What else was in that coupon book?
我要做什么枕头大战
What am I gonna do, pillow fight?
我可以想到更好的
I could come up with something better than that.
枕头大战
Pillow fight!
你在做什么
What the hell are you doing?
享受开心的时刻
Having the time of our lives!
我可以打上你一整天
I could hit you all day.
骗你的好累
I lied. That's exhausting.
难怪姐妹会的人身材那么好
No wonder sorority girls are in such good shape.
-完了吗 -对不起