美式主妇

American Housewife S05E01

Part 1 Oct. 30, 2020, 10:36 a.m.

美式主妇
第五季第一集
四个月前
安娜凯特你吃完早餐了吗
Anna-kat, are you done with your breakfast?
安娜凯特
Anna-kat!
你知道吗野花女孩露营
Did you know the wildflower girls camp
包含绳索课程皮艇和骑马项目
has a ropes course, canoeing, and horseback riding?
没错孩子会变的
Yeah -- kids change.
打包清单写着五年级及以上学生
The packing list says that fifth graders and above
需要带上女性卫生用品
need to bring feminine hygiene products,
也就是说今年可能是我的主场
which means this could be my year!
你能相信吗
Can you believe it?
安娜凯特居然要去野外宿营
Anna-Kat is going to sleepaway camp!
在我们的引导下她从怪咖成长为
We have taken her from being a weirdo
自信坚强的女孩
to a strong, confident girl.
她刚为了月经跟她爸击掌
She just gave her dad a high-five about menstruating.
她还是有点怪
She still has a little weirdo left in her.
凯特大屁♥股♥
Kate. Donks.
我读了自传的最新草稿大爱
Read the latest draft of the book. Love it.
结局有待修改
The ending still needs a little work,
所以来我们办公室找我
so meet me at our office.
我们可能会讨论到很晚
Uh, we might be working late,
所以我给你带了几罐老女人喝的蛋白饮料
so I brought you some of those canned protein drinks for old women.
这是他毙掉的第五个结局了
This is the fifth conclusion he's shot down.
我一直想表现出深刻
I keep trying to be poignant,
但我还是满足他吧给他一个美满结局
but I guess I'll just give him what he wants -- a happy ending.
谢谢你善意的沉默
Thanks for not saying anything.
老妈
Mom!
毕业名单出来了但我不在上面
The list for graduation came out, and I'm not on it!
再过两天就毕业了怎么回事
It's only two days away! What was it?
你没交论文吗
You didn't turn a paper in?
你忘记填什么表了吗
You forgot to fill out some forms?
不我大一那年叫你帮我还一本书给图书馆
No, my freshman year, I gave you a library book to return,
结果你没还
and you never did.
好像有这回事
That sounds about right.
你要害我毕不了业了
I'm not going to graduate because of you!
好了冷静点我是你老妈
Okay, calm down. I'm your mother.
我会搞定的
I'll take care of it.
好的谢谢你
Okay. Thank you.
泰勒表示下感激又不会死
And, Taylor, a little gratitude would be nice.
我刚刚跟你说了"谢谢"
I literally just said "thank you."
说句公道话我没在听你说话
To be fair, I wasn't listening.
你写的每个结局我都喜欢
I like all your endings,
但你没能打动我到让我想按"订阅"
but they're not making me want to hit "subscribe."
我不知道你的人生还有什么可写
I don't know what else to say about your life.
你只有25岁
You're only 25 years old.
你成天用彩弹枪射你的朋友
You shoot your friends with paintball guns,
然后请他们吃快餐赔罪
then buy them fast-food franchises.
我的确会这样做
I do do that.
我还是认为我们需要一个伟大的结局
I still think we need a great ending,
想不出来就不能休息
and you and I are not gonna rest until we come up with one.
明智之举
That's smart.
我需要我的女人今晚如狼似虎
I need my lady sharp tonight.
西港联合学校
明年会非常精彩到时我们就高三了
Next year's gonna be amazing. We'll be juniors.
可以自己开车上学
We can drive ourselves to school.
可以上那位火♥辣♥西语女老师的课
We'll be in that hot Spanish teacher's class.
坎普斯老师
Senora Campos!
我和凯莉本来不知道
So, me and Kelly, we didn't know
我们会不会分开
if we were gonna stay together
到时她会去宾大上学我会去塔夫茨大学
while she's at Penn and I'm at Tufts.
但之后我们做了个在线测试
But then we took that online quiz
"你和你的高中恋人能否长久"
"Are you and your high school sweetheart built to last?"
看结果我们绝对能走下去
And it looks like we totally are.
我和特里普就不用担心这一点
Well, Trip and I don't have to worry about that.
没错她会留在镇上度过间隔年
Yeah, she's staying in town taking a gap year,
我会去上大学
and I'm going to college.
我就是还不确定要申请哪所学校
I'm just not sure where to apply yet.
几个月前就得申请了
You had to apply months ago.
那看来我也要间隔一年了
I guess I'm taking a gap year, too.
我们还是应该做做那个测试
We should take the quiz anyway.
就当作好玩
Just for fun.
就算只是闹着玩
Well, yeah, even if it's just for fun,
我做测试也应该得到额外的学时
I'm supposed to get extra time to take it.
我的表里写了
It's in my chart.
你说不希望我去露营是什么意思
What do you mean, you don't want me to go to camp?!
看起来超好玩的啊
It looks so fun!
这世上没有比夏令营更危险的地方了
There's no more dangerous place in the world than summer camp.
除了橄榄花♥园♥意大利餐厅
Except maybe Olive Garden.
那些无限供应的面包棒对我的腰围极度有害
Those unlimited breadsticks are dangerous to my waistline.
怎么会危险呢
How could it be dangerous?
都是些超好玩的活动
It's just super fun activities.
他们有躲避球
They have dodgeball.
是死亡球才对
More like death-ball.
滑水
Water skiing.
滑尸吧
Water-dying.
手工艺
Arts and crafts.
手工作死我能跟你扯一整天
Arts and dying. I can do this all day.
我本来很兴奋的但我没仔细考虑过这些...
I was so excited, but I hadn't really considered all the --
花式死法吗我懂没人会考虑
All the dying? I know. no one does.
抱歉我不得不反对你这个想法
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no to this idea.
我很庆幸我去之前先找你谈过
I'm glad I talked to you before I went.
我今天很可能救了你一命
I probably saved your life today.
慢点小子
Slow down, punks.
凯蒂我正想找你
Katie! Just the person I wanted to see.
阿布林我说过无数次了
Ablin, for the thousandth time,
我现在不策划派对了
I don't plan parties any more.
所以我不会替你策划你的古怪婚礼
So I'm not going to do your strange wedding.
穿苏格兰裙有什么古怪的
It's not strange to wear a kilt.
你又不是苏格兰人
You're not Scottish.
我一紧张就出汗
I get sweaty when I get nervous,
这是唯一一个为社会所接受的
and it's the only socially acceptable way
给我下面通风的方式
for me to ventilate my nethers.
打扰一下
Excuse me.
泰拉你怎么会在这儿
Tara. What are you doing here?
我每周有两个下午在这里当志愿者
I volunteer two afternoons a week.
因为我在乎回馈我的社区
Because I care about giving back to the community.
你有何贵干凯蒂
What do you want, Katie?
我得替泰勒付图书馆罚金
I have to pay Taylor's library fine
好让她能顺利毕业
so that she could graduate.
这本书逾期四年
The book is four years late.
已经没有付罚金这个选项了
Paying a fine isn't even an option anymore.
上面就写着"找管♥理♥员♥"
Just says "see administrator."
泰拉拜托你帮帮忙
Tara, can you just help me out?
我保证不再给班上的人
I promise I'll stop bringing the class
带根本不素的素食蛋糕
Vegan cupcakes that are not even remotely vegan.
你说什么
You what?
没有鸡蛋烤个屁蛋糕是人都知道
You can't bake without eggs. everyone knows that.
包括你们这些蠢素食者
Even you stupid vegans.
就算我想帮你当然了我并不想
Even if I wanted to help you -- which I don't --
我也帮不了
I can't.
这需要电脑操作
It's a computer thing,
我没有覆盖系统的密♥码♥
and I don't have the code to override the system.
那谁有
Who does?
所以你希望你女儿能毕业
So, you want your daughter to graduate,
但她毕不了业除非我输入
but she can't unless I punch in
我的管♥理♥员♥覆盖密♥码♥
my administrative override code.
我该怎么做才好呢
What to do? what to do?
我投降
Fine!
我会替你策划婚礼
I'll plan your wedding.
好极了
Great.
暑假期间
So, during summer break,