大世界之旅（2016）

The Grand Tour S01E03

Part 5 May 6, 2021, 11:49 a.m.

有多少孩子会说如果我很努力学习又好好做功课
one day, maybe, I can have a KADJAR"?
没准将来有一天我会拥有一辆科雷嘉
Cos that's the car they grow up seeing.
因为这就是他们从小到大看到的车
Worse still, Nissan Juke.
还可能更糟日产Juke
You really hate the Juke. No, I hate it.
你真的很讨厌Juke 是的我讨厌它
No, he genuinely hates... No, I hate...
他真的是非常讨厌没错我讨厌它
I object to it existing. It shouldn't exist.
我觉得它就不应该存在
I loathe it.
我厌恶它
On the motorway, you see them with their stupid,
在高速公路上你会看到那两只愚蠢的
like, double bug eyes.
像虫子一样的眼睛
Smug little...
自鸣得意的小
If I see one, I'm mad.
要是看到它我会抓狂的
I can't help myself.
我控制不住我自己
And it's cruel, and I'm sorry if you're in one.
如果你有一辆很抱歉我知道这样说不好
But I do, I see them.
但说真的当我看到那辆车
"I hate..."
我恨它
He does. I was driving along with him the other day...
他就是这样的有天我开车带着他
I was busy telling him a story,
我正在和他讲故事
and he was looking out the window going,
他却在朝窗外喊
"I hate you! I hate you!"
我讨厌你我讨厌你
I hate them.
我讨厌它们
What's the most boring car on sale in Britain today?
现在英国在售的最无聊的车是什么
That's a good question.
这是个好问题
Brown Astons!
棕色的阿斯顿马丁
Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! - Who said that?
哈哈哈刚刚谁说的
Get out. Get out.
出去给我出去
Security, kill him.
保安杀了他
"Brown Astons" my...
棕色阿斯顿个...
I tell you what, if I were the boss of Volkswagen,
听着如果我是大众的老板
I'd go and find the man who did...
我会找到那个设计师
What's that tall Golf called?
那辆很高的高尔夫叫什么来着
Oh, the SV.
那个 SV
SV, that's it. The one that's like a Golf,
对 SV 那辆专门给戴大礼帽的人
but for people who have stovepipe hats.
设计的高尔夫
And I would bludgeon him with a tyre iron.
然后用轮胎撬棍打死他
"Why did you do that? Nobody wants one!"
你为什么要这么做这辆车没人会买♥♥
Just to be fair, I think VW have bigger concerns at the moment.
坦白说我觉得大众正面临着更棘手的问题
OK, I want to talk about the Oxford Ring Road.
好吧接下来我要说说Oxford Ring Road
I know it's miles away from here and from anybody watching,
我知道离这里很远大家也都看不见
but the thing is, OK, for the last two years,
但我想说的是在过去两年内
they've been working on shrinking - slightly shrinking -
这两个环岛一直在缩小
two roundabouts and putting some traffic lights up.
并增加了一些信♥号♥♥灯
Now, do you know how much the budget was for that job?
可你们知道这项工程的预算是多少吗
Er... Two roundabouts, ten grand a roundabout.
呃两个环形路口就算一个一万
I'd say 20 grand overall.
一共两万吧
￡9 million.
900万镑
Million? Nine million? Nine million.
真的吗 900万是的 900万
Can you imagine the builder's face when he came out of that meeting?
你们能想象承包商知道消息后脸上的表情吗
"They're gonna give me nine million quid
他们竟然要给我900万
to shrink a couple of roundabouts!"
就为了缩小两个环岛
Well, that's why it's taken him two years.
所以他才用了两年的时间
He had to make it look like nine million quid's worth.
要让这项工程看起来像是900万的规模
"Really difficult."
确实很难
This is not a word of a lie.
一点没骗人
￡9 million will buy you a 30,000-square-foot house,
900万镑可以买♥♥2800平♥米♥的豪♥宅♥
OK, like this.
就像这样
That is a nine-million-quid house to build.
这才是900万镑的工程
You can have that or two shaved roundabouts...
你可以用那900万镑建一座这样的房♥子
for your nine million quid.
或者两个环岛
No. No, actually. No.
不不不不是的
Because - and this, again, is not a word of a lie -
因为我说的都是实话
a few months ago, builder man -
几个月前这项目承包商
and it must have been a bet -
我估计他是跟别人打赌了
he went back to the council and he said,
他回到了议会然后说
"I need another million quid."
我还需要一百万镑
And they paid?
议会给他了吗
And they paid! They paid!
给了竟然真的给了
He probably shuffled in. "I broke me spade."
没准他是这么说的我把铲子弄坏了
"Another million?" "Yes, of course. Happy to."
能再给我一百万吗没问题乐意效劳
Can I be cross for a moment with BMW?
我能再说两句宝马吗
It'll be difficult to stop you. Yes.
我们都拦不住你说吧
The thing was, last year they introduced this.
是这样宝马在去年公布了这辆车
They showed... They went, "Look at that."
他们放出了图片然后说看呐
And everybody went, "That is fantastic!"
大家的反应都是太棒了
It's an homage to the old CSL Batmobile from '72.
这是一辆向1972年CSL Batmobile致敬的车
Everyone was going, "When will you make it?"
大家都在问什么时候开始造
"We're not. It's just to show you what we could make."
宝马说不造就是让你们看我们多厉害
Why did they show us?
那他们放出这张图片做什么
Just don't do that! Yeah, exactly.
别这么吊人胃口说得没错
Actually, no, it doesn't matter,
实际上那个并不重要
because they've come up with something else instead.
因为他们之后又发布了这个
This look. This is actually an homage
你们看这辆车是用来向
to the original 2002, which is the old car on the left,
左边那辆宝马2002致敬的
and that, I think, actually looks pretty fab.
我觉得这车看上去简直美极了
It does. Are they gonna make it? No.
确实是他们会造出来吗不会
Well, why show it to us, then?
那为什么要给我们看
"Look what we could make but we're not."
瞧我们能造这么好的车但就是不造
It's a good job BMW don't run the emergency services, isn't it?
幸好宝马不负责紧急救援
"Oh, look! You have drifted a long way from shore there, haven't you?
看呐你从那海岸漂过来挺远了吧
We could drag you back behind our speedboat."
我们可以用快艇拉着你走
"Will you?" "No. No, we just wanted you to know that we could."
你们会吗不就是告诉你我们能这么干
What they're being is prick-teasers.
宝马就是在戏屌♥
Oh, you can't say that.
噢你不能这么说
I don't think you can say that.
我觉得你不能说那个词
I'm not sure you can say that.
我也觉得你不能这么说
Can you say "prick-tease"?
你能说戏屌♥吗？
A cocktease! Is it allowed today?
耍鸡现在不让这么说了吗
"Cock-tease"? That's no different. You've just changed the name!
耍鸡也一样啊你只是换了个词
It's a different way of saying "prick" or "dick".
只不过是说屌♥的不同方式
You could have said "penis tease". It doesn't matter!
那还可以直接说玩茎都一样
Conversation Street's taken a really bad turn.
唠嗑街开始变得有点污了
The point I'm trying to make is BMW must stop doing that.
重点是我觉得宝马不应该再这样了
Whatever... Whatever it was.
不管不管这是什么
Now, if we had a Grand Tour medal,
听着如果我们有一块Grand Tour奖牌
and we don't, but if we did,
我们并没有如果有的话
I know who the first recipient would be.
我知道第一个应该颁给谁
Cos we heard this amazing story the other day.
因为我们那天听到了这个惊人的故事
You know speed camera vans?
你们都知道测速车吧
Sit at the side of the road, blacked out windows,
停在路边把窗户涂黑
civil servant sitting inside watching YouPorn. OK?
人♥民♥公仆坐在里面看黄♥片♥
That's what it is. Waiting for someone to trip his camera.
本来就是等着有人超速
Now, someone, the other day,
有一天一个人偷偷
snuck up behind the speed-camera van,
溜到了测速车的后面
quietly undid its number plates
把车牌摘了下来
put them on his own car
再装到自己的车上
and drove past at 100 miles an hour.
然后以每小时160公里的速度开了过去
I mean... literally the funniest thing ever!
我想说这真是我听过的最有意思的事
Well done, you, sir.
干得漂亮先生
Top work.
太漂亮了
Absolutely... I love that.
简直了我喜欢
That is top, top work.
这件事干得真是太漂亮了
Can I talk about the Alfa Romeo Quadrifoglio?
我能说说阿尔法罗密欧的Quadrifoglio吗
No. Why?
不能为什么
Because we've got to get back to our film.
因为我们该回归正题了
Tonight we are on a Grand Tour of Italy.
今晚我们在意大利大壮游
There's James in a Rolls-Royce,
詹姆斯开着一辆劳斯莱斯
Jeremy in an Aston Martin,
杰里米开着一辆阿斯顿马丁
and me in a Dodge Hellcat with two trucks full of tyres
我开着一辆道奇地狱猫以及两辆装满轮胎的卡车
so I can do doughnuts whenever I want.
所以我可以随时随地玩烧胎
Yes, and we pick up the action on day two
没错接下来的第二天
of what was becoming, thanks to him,