大世界之旅（2016）

Hello and welcome to the sweat box...
大家好 欢迎来到汗蒸房♥...
that is Cambodia.
也就是 柬埔寨
Now, there are many ways we could get across this fascinating country.
其实 我们有很多种方式可选 来穿越这个神奇的国度
We could use horses or tuk-tuks or tractors.
我们可以选择骑马 三蹦子 或者是拖拉机
But Mr Wilman decided we should meet at this very spot
但威尔曼先生决定 我们要在这个地方集♥合♥
with three boats.
同时还有三条船
And that hasn't gone down very well with my colleagues.
而这一决定 并没有让我的同事们非常开心
No. There we go.
没错 又来了
Because I hate... I'm from Birmingham, I've explained.
因为我恨... 我是伯明翰人啊 我之前都说的
Which is as far as you can get from the sea in the UK--
也就是全英国距离海水最远的地方
Full of canals! We don't do boats.
那里到处都是运河好么! 我们就是不划船
People from Birmingham are always saying,
伯明翰人嘴里总是说自己的家乡是什么
"It's the Venice of the North,"
"北方的威尼斯"
like Venetians always say, "We live in the Birmingham of the South."
就像威尼斯人总是说"我们这里是南方的伯明翰"
Canals are just for moving coal around.
运河只是用来运煤的好吧
I don't want to do that either.
顺便说一句 我也不想运煤
I'm from Birmingham, I don't ski and I don't do boats. End of.
我是伯明翰人 我不滑雪 不划船 讨论结束
I signed up for a car show. Yes.
我参加的是汽车节目啊 没错
Not cookery, not restoring frescoes and not boats.
不是厨艺节目 不是修复壁画 更不是划船节目
I don't like boats. You can't trust a boat. That's exactly the right word.
我不喜欢船 你没法信任一艘船啊 这正是我想说的
You can't trust any vehicle that isn't necessarily where it was when you last parked it.
你不可以相信一个"停好之后再看未必还在原地"的交通工具啊
Problem No.1. They can sink. Cars can't do that.
首先 船会沉 车不会
What are the viewers gonna think? What?
咱们的观众会怎么想? 你说什么?
What if you turned on Jamie Oliver,
如果你选择看吉米·奥利弗的节目
you thought, "I love that cooking show...
你会想"我好喜欢它的烹饪节目"
Oh, he's doing some watercolor painting."
"哦 他怎么在那画水彩画呢"
We did it in lorries... Lorries are vehicles. They go on the road.
我们之前卡车旅行都做过了 卡车也是车 它们在地面上跑的
We've been on horses. Oh, that went well!
我们还骑过马 哦 那次体验可不怎么样哦!
Anyway, listen, let's not get bogged down with your prejudices.
不管那些 听好了 咱们不要纠结于你们的那些偏见了好吧
Because the challenge is actually quite simple.
因为我们这次的挑战还是比较简单的
We are here, yes, near Siem Reap in the north of Cambodia.
我们在这里 对吧 位于柬埔寨北部的暹粒省附近
And we've got to use all these waterways, well, not all of them...
我们此次要利用这些水道 肯定不是全都要用上了...
we've got to find a path through them,
想办法穿越这个国家
to Vung Tau, which is at the bottom of the Mekong Delta, in Vietnam.
到达头顿 也就是湄公河三角洲的底部 也就是越南境内
There is, however, one small problem.
不过 我们有一个小麻烦
As I've said, I'm no expert on boats and boating.
就像我刚说的 我不是什么船只和航行的专家
But...there's no water. No, there isn't.
但是...这也没水啊 嗯 确实没有
Is that pontoon thing there, is that where Mr Wilman thought we should meet?
那里那个驳船 是不是威尔曼先生指望我们集♥合♥的地方?
Yes, in a field. He's a halfwit, isn't he?
没错 现在已经搁浅了 他就是个傻子对吧?
Anyway, the problem is...
但不管怎样 问题是...
there isn't enough water in there to drown a witch.
这点水都不够淹死一个女巫的
如果沉下去了(通常下场是溺亡)则是无辜的 如果浮起来了 则是女巫
*形容水少 过去欧洲鉴别女巫的方式 把受害者沉到水里
No.
是的
So, why don't we get some wheels and go and find some water
那么 不如我们找几辆车 然后出发去找水吧
and then we'll launch our boats there?
我们在找到的水的地方把船放下去
Right.
好吧
Having found some wheels, we began our search.
找来几辆车之后 我们开始了搜寻
Oh, how the mighty are fallen.
哦 我终于也骑上自行车了
We are in tune with the times, though.
不过 我们的出行方式还是紧跟时代步伐的
Exactly right. Exactly right.
完全正确 完全正确
There is global warming, there is climate change.
这颗地球正在变暖 气候正在发生变化
And if you hosted a car show now,
如果你现在还去主持汽车节目的话
I think you'd feel foolish.
我觉得 你就是个傻瓜
Bloody car, you maniac!
该死的汽车啊 你个疯子!
What's up with you, you lunatic?
你有什么问题吗? 疯子?
You selfish maniac! Hit him! Hit the car!
你个自私的疯子! 踢他一脚 踢他车
Mad man!
疯子!
Several exhausting miles later, the river was still depressingly empty.
在劳累的几英里骑行之后 这条河依旧是空的
The problem we've got is it's June
问题是 现在时间是六月份
and it's supposed to be raining here, really raining,
这里本应该下大雨的 非常大的雨
pouring down constantly.
瓢泼大雨下不停
And it isn't. And it hasn't for months.
但没有雨 已经几个月没下雨了
And when we reached a fishing village, the scale of the issue became clear.
当我们抵达一座渔村的时候 问题的严重性开始清晰起来
These houses, as you can see, are on stilts because that's where the river should be.
这些房♥子 你们也能看到 都是建在高处的 因为这里是河流本应出现的地方
Just stop here. Look.
咱们停一下 看看这
That's where the water level is.
这里是水位线
That's incredibly gone, isn't it?
水量很明显地有减少 对吧?
And it's not just climate change that's to blame,
而气候变化并不是唯一的原因
because there's another problem.
还有另外一个原因
China. They've dammed the river
中国 他们在上游建设水坝
that feeds all the water systems round here.
而这条河流是要维持这里生活的
How much sense does that make, sitting here,
不知道在这什么什么感受 坐在屋里
in your house on stilts with no water around it,
看着建在高跷上的房♥屋但是周围却没有水
to learn that the Chinese have nicked all your water?
心想中国人把水全都偷走了?
"中国和湄公河下游国家通常基于国际水法来制定政策 这种解释强调的是"先到先用""
*引用自《参考消息网》2015年2月9日文章对澳媒文章的报道:
A funny world, isn't it?
这世界真荒唐 对吧?
The really funny thing is,
我跟你讲 真心荒唐的是
China builds a coal-fired power station every 20 minutes or something
当中国以每20分钟一座的速度建设火力发电站的时候
and everyone shouts at them, saying,
其他国家都在纷纷指责 说什么
"Oh, you're killing the planet."
"啊 你们在摧毁地球"
When they build a clean, green, hydro-electric dam,
当中国改建清洁 绿色的水力发电站之后
everyone shouts at them, saying, "Now, look, you're killing the planet!"
其他人还是继续指责说"啊 你们正在摧毁这个地球!"
Well, it'd be nice if they could do it without nicking somebody else's water.
额 如果不去偷别人家的水的话 那就很好了
中国打开南部景洪水电站的闸门两个星期 向东南亚的粮仓湄公河盆地放了大量的淡水
*实际上 在2016年 东南亚遭遇60年来最严重的旱灾时
Eventually, though, we found a lake.
不过 最终 我们找到了一片湖
Oh, look at that! Hello.
哦 快看啊 你好啊
But as we launched our boats and headed for a nearby pontoon...
但是 就在我们把船放进水里 准备前往附近的驳船时
...the rainy season arrived...
大雨到来了
with a vengeance.
甚至还有些恶毒
God above!
上帝啊!
Erm...I don't know how to park a boat.
额 我根本不会泊船啊
I'm not gonna lie.
不跟大家撒谎
Trying to park.
尝试停船入位
Ooh! How do I stop it?
哦 这玩意该怎么停啊?
Having another attempt.
再试一次
Wait a minute, my engines are...
等一下 引擎好像...
Oh, no, that one.
不对 应该是这个引擎
Yeah.
好的
I think that went well.
我觉得还可以
Right.
好的
Stop moving around!
别再四处漂了啊!!!
I've parked you!
我已经把你停好了!!!
Well, I was gonna leap from my boat and say,
额 我本来想打算从我的船上跳下来说
"And fresh from Miami Vice...
在"迈阿密风云"最新一集中...
a boat."
的一条船
It's pointy, which means it's a fast boat.
带尖头的船 那便意味着是一条快艇
Oh, I've got my leg caught.
哦呀 不小心把脚缠住了
At this point, Jeremy emerged from the gloom.
在这时 杰瑞米从昏暗中冒出来了
And as he's the only qualified boat driver on the team,
作为队伍中唯一一名有驾船经验的人
I was expecting a smoother arrival.
我觉得他会顺利靠岸的
Here we go.
这就开始
Parking a PBR.
停靠我的内河巡逻艇
No, no, no!
不 不 不
Oh, brilliant!
哦 好棒棒啊
It's really windy! I'm backing in.
这风太大了好么 我试试倒进来
Oh, no, that's...
哦不 那是...
Totally uncontrollable.
完全无法控制
This is better, this angle.
这样好一点 这个角度
OK. Could you help and get that rope?
好嘞 能帮我抓住那绳子吗
Can you pull me along?
能帮我把绳子系好吗
Please pull me along!
求你赶紧帮我系好吧
This is no time for cocking about!
没有时间可以胡搞了啊喂!
This is dangerous work we're doing!
我们可是在做很危险的事啊
I'm glad you got here cos I think it looks like rain.
我很高兴你到了 因为好像要下雨了
(BLEEP) me!
我X
Erm... What?
额... 怎么了
Isn't that like the boat out of Apocalypse Now?
这不是现代启示录里的船吗
Exactly what it is, PBR - Patrol Boat, River.
完全正确 是PBR 内河巡逻艇
Mark II. Yeah.
二型 对啊
Is that entirely tactful? We're going to Vietnam.
这不太合适在这开吧 毕竟我们要去越南