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Modern Family S06E18

Part 1 Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.

你还在看吗
You're still on that thing?
你一直盯着电脑到底看什么呢
What are you constantly looking at on your computer?
你真的想要
Is that a question
家里的人开始问这个问题吗
you really want people asking around here?
说得对我不想
Indeed, it is not.
我只是在看大学录取情况
I'm just checking college acceptances.
学校随时可能发通知
I mean, they should be posting them any day.
你不能把整个春假
You cannot spend your entire spring break
花在等录取通知上吧
worrying about college admissions.
你应该跟海莉一起去那个音乐节
You should go to that -- that music festival thing with Haley.
找点乐子学会放松
Do something fun. Learn to relax a --
我们所有的遥控器都得留着吗
Do we have to keep every remote we have ever owned?
垃圾填埋场的某处刚有个光驱弹了出来
Somewhere in a landfill, a laser disc just ejected.
我不能带艾丽克斯去音乐节
Uh, I can't bring Alex to the festival
因为我是去工作勘查最新流行趋势
because I am going for work to research new fashion trends.
我得和人们打成一片
I need to blend in, you know?
所有人都会以为她是条子
Everyone will think she's a cop.
我可以坐在这担惊受怕毁掉自己的一天
Well, I could sit here and worry and ruin my day,
或者跟海莉一起去毁掉她的一天
or I could go with Haley and ruin hers.
我去拿我的防晒霜
I'll grab my sunscreen.
早上好
Good morning.
爸
Hey, Dad.
我不想让你难堪可海莉起得比你早
I hate to shame you, but Haley woke up before you.
海莉昨天没跑十公里
Well, Haley didn't run a 10K yesterday
去为秃头症患者争取关注
to raise awareness for alopecia.
秃头症是什么
What's alopecia?
这就是我去跑步的原因
That is why I run.
亲爱的今天的春季大扫除
Honey, I could really use your help
真的需要你的帮助
with spring cleaning today.
我需要把这些盒子都拿到捐赠中心去
I got to get all these boxes down to the donation center.
我想帮可是我要工作
Wish I could, but I've got work.
然后还要和卢克一起跳蹦床
Then Luke and I have got some important trampolining to do.
我真喜欢这么平等的分工方式
I just love how equally we divide our responsibilities.
鉴于你的学校活动取消了
Figured we'd do a little father/son bonding
我们该做点父子活动
since your school trip was canceled.
你可以教我邓菲翻转
You can teach me the Dunphy Tuck.
我欣赏你的热情但那太危险了
I love your enthusiasm, son, but it's way too dangerous.
一个动作错了你就可能摔个嘴啃弹簧
One wrong move, and you're eating springs.
不那不是
Oh, no, no, those are --
那是我的班卓琴吗
Is that my banjo?
当我遇见身边这位女士的时候
When I met this little lady sitting next to me,
我们一见钟情
it was love at first sight.
是的我已经弹棉花
Yep, I've been noodling around on the ol' flyswatter
弹了好几年了
for a couple of years now.
被伟大前辈们所激励
I was inspired by the greats
斯克鲁日科米特
-- Scruggs, Kermit.
尽管这玩意练起来很难
It's hard to practice, though,
因为它会让克莱尔欲♥火♥焚身
because it gets Claire so hot and bothered.
我觉得我听够了
- What do you -- - I think I've heard enough.
你真走运
Lucky for you,
我刚好有时间弹一曲《小短面包》
I've got time for a couple verses of "Shortnin' bread."
不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
不它在盒子里要被丢掉了
No, no, it's in the box. It's leaving the house.
我再也忍♥受不了那鬼哭狼嚎了
I-I can never hear that awful thing again.
-可你还叫我班卓琴手呢 -我知道
- But you called me "Banjovi." - I know.
只要能让它停下我做什么都可以
I did whatever was necessary to make it stop.
等等那是说你也不喜欢我吹风笛吗
Wait. Does that mean you also didn't like my bagpiping?
所以我们才有了卢克吗
Is that why we have Luke?!
不是这样的
It's not.
是这样吗
Is it?
小卡你不吃甜品吗
Ay, Cam, no dessert for you?
不吃
No, none for me.
今晚我要穿上紧身猫猫装
I have to fit into a skintight cat costume tonight
因为要去...
because I'm gonna --
你们关上房♥门做任何事
Whatever you do behind closed doors
都是你们自己的事
is your own business.
因为我要在教职员才艺秀上演唱《回忆》
Because I'm singing "Memory" at the faculty follies.
为了筹集资金
It's a fundraiser
教师们要表演节目
where the teachers do a little talent show.
要不我去看你演出吧
Ay, maybe I come see you.
我戒掉了肥皂剧
I need to find something to watch
总得找点东西看
since I had to give up my soap operas.
因为你一心看剧忽略了乔吗
Oh, because you've been neglecting Joe?
不因为我让杰戒了雪茄
No, it's because I asked Jay to stop smoking cigars,
他说如果我能戒肥皂剧
and he said that he would quit
他就戒雪茄
if I stopped watching the soap operas.
可那太难了
But it's very hard.
有什么难的
What's so damn hard?
每周播的都是一样的
It's the same thing every week --
健忘症邪恶的双胞胎
Amnesia, evil twins,
最后两个女人在喷泉里打架
two ladies end up fighting in a fountain.
有什么好看的是为了逃脱现实吗
I mean, what is it? Is it some sort of an escape?
至少比朝宝宝脸上吐烟好
It's better than blowing smoke in our baby's face.
说到这个他去哪儿了
Where did he go, anyways?
莉莉的女童军营发来了邮件
Oh, there's an e-mail from Lily's scout camp.
-希望一切都好 -她很好
- I hope everything's okay. - She's fine.
米奇尔很担心因为他不喜欢露营
Mitchell's nervous because he's not a camper.
他觉得住的酒店没有电视剧频道
His idea of roughing it is a hotel stay
就算条件艰苦了
where the cable doesn't get Bravo.
登记入住时酒店应该告诉客人的
They should tell you that when you check in.
好吧收到一张照片看
Oh, boy. Okay, here's a photo, look.
她在打手势
She's using the signal.
什么手势
What signal?
孩子们不能打电♥话♥给家长
The kids aren't allowed to call their parents,
但是营地会发照片给我们
but the camp sends out photos,
所以我们约好
so we have a code.
是的 "我们"
Yeah, "We."
竖一根手指表示很好
One finger, she's fine.
两根手指表示不高兴
Two fingers, she's unhappy.
你看两根手指
Look at this -- two fingers.
我不在手♥机♥上看照片
I don't look at pictures on a phone.
要是拍得好就洗出来放进相册
If it's a good shot, get a print, put it in an album.
这种时候说这个真合适
Interesting time to take a stand.
可看起来她只是
But she looks like she's just doing
在朋友身后比"兔耳朵"
the bunny ears behind her girlfriend.
她就是那样做
Which is exactly what she would do
好骗过大人们传达秘密信♥号♥♥
to get a secret signal past the authorities.
那是女童军营不是莱文沃思
Okay, it's a scout camp, not Leavenworth.
她在笑呢你担心什么啊
She's smiling. What are you worried about?
因为这是她第一次离开家
Because it's her first time away from home. It --
知道吗也许是这样
You know what? That's probably it.
是我太紧张了所以...
I'm just -- I'm stressing out, so --
我要去趟办公室
You know, I'm -- I'm gonna go to the office
拿点文件
and pick up some papwork.
我跟你一起走好了
You know what? I'm gonna tag along with you.
你可以把我送到俱乐部
You can drop me off at the club.
我其实不是去办公室
I'm not really going to the office.
随便我得抽根雪茄
Don't care. Need a cigar.
根据我刚刚的勘查情况
Based off the walk I just took,
侧乳是最新的股沟
side-boob is the new butt crack.
你想去前面吗
So, you want to head down front?
艾丽克斯
Alex!
你得喝了这个
Okay, you need to drink this.
我再去拿一杯
I'll get a new one.
这里有伏特加吗
Uh, is there vodka in here?
如果有的话它没在发挥什么作用
If there is, it's not doing anybody any good
除非我把它弄到你嘴里
until I get it in there.
米开朗基罗说过如何用大理石
Michelangelo talked about chiseling
凿出美丽的雕像
beautiful sculptures out of marble.
我的凿子是长岛冰茶
Well, my chisel is a long island iced tea,