摩登家庭
Modern Family S06E13
Part 1
Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.
我们回来了
We're back!
发生了件超搞笑的事
Funniest thing --
斯黛拉散步时爱上了一只狗狗
Stella fell in love with this dog on our walk,
她就这么含情脉脉地凝望着
just stared at it lovingly.
结果发现那是她在轮毂罩映出的像
Turned out to be her reflection in a hubcap.
搞得人哭笑不得
Can you blame her?
话说我历史考试拿了个A
I got an "A" on my history exam, by the way.
你当真要和狗狗争宠吗
Really, you're competing with the dog?
别理他 乖孩子
Don't let it bother you, girl.
杰 咱们得谈谈
Jay, we need to talk.
我今天到过敏症医生那去了
I went to an allergist today,
他认为乔身上的疹子是过敏引起的
and he thinks that Joe's rash is an allergy.
真厉害 过敏症医生发现过敏症状了
What a surprise -- an allergist found an allergy.
他认为乔可能对斯黛拉过敏
He thinks he might be allergic to Stella.
什么
What?
这只狗带来的唯一反应就是引人发笑
The only reaction this dog gives people is the giggles.
当她想舔自己脸的时候...
I mean, when she tried to lick her own face...
在我们村 如果一只山羊有那么笨
In my village, if a goat acted that dumb,
我们都不会吃它
we wouldn't even eat it.
过敏这事不是开玩笑
This allergy thing is very serious.
我们得把他俩分开一星期
We need to separate them for a week
看看疹子会不会消褪
to see if the rash goes away.
那么久看不到乔我可能会受不了
I don't know if I can go that long without seeing Joe.
不是乔要走 是狗要走
Not joe! The dog!
我已经给米奇和卡梅隆打过电♥话♥了
I already called Mitch and Cameron.
他们可以照顾她
They're gonna take her.
走一星期吗
For a week?!
她会心灵受伤 她可是很敏感的
She'll be traumatized! She's very sensitive!
她是只会在车道上蹭屁♥股♥的狗
She scrapes her butt on the driveway.
你怎么就这么不待见她
Why don't you like her?
她跟你什么仇什么怨
She's never done anything to you.
你自己瞧 我的面霜
Ay, look! My face cream!
你知道这东西多少钱吗
Do you know how much this costs?
不知道 多少钱啊
No. How much?
别转移话题
Don't change the subject!
这狗现在就得走
The dog goes now!
这么一提我才发现
You know, now that I think about it,
我可能也对斯黛拉过敏
I could be allergic to Stella.
自从她来了我就有点呼吸困难[古板]
I've been a little stuffy since we got her.
斯黛拉没来前你就很古板
You were stuffy long before Stella.
你不记得那次你在芝士店批评服务员
Do you not remember scolding that waiter at Chuck E. Cheese
只是因为他是从右边上餐吗
for serving you from the right?
维多利亚式
Victorian.
现代
Modern.
纯木工
Craftsman.
西班牙式
Spanish.
欧洲的 哥特式
European...Gothic?
安迪 这是《冰雪奇缘》里的城♥堡♥
Andy, it's the castle from "Frozen".
很抱歉 你没准备好
I'm sorry, but you're not ready.
什么
What?
听到"你准备好了"这个消息
To hear that you're ready!
恭喜你 助理
Congratulations, assistant!
我要引领你到另一个境界
I'm moving you up to the next level.
苍天啊
Holy cow.
刚才可把人紧张坏了
That was an emotional thrill ride.
这个周日
This Sunday,
你要负责销♥售♥林登那里的科德角式房♥
you are manning the open house of the Cope Cod on Linden.
这意味着你负责在街边
That means you're gonna be sticking
安放好售房♥标志和气球
the sign and the balloons on the corner,
你负责把所有灯打开
you're gonna be turning on all the lights,
你负责烤好布朗尼蛋糕
you're gonna be baking all the brownies.
我会让您为我骄傲的 先生
I will make you proud, sir.
你还要负责干什么
What else are you gonna do?
我要确保客人登记好信息
I will make sure people sign in.
还有什么
What else?
我给客人展示主卧的时候
When I show someone the master bedroom,
我会说 "这是奇迹发生的地方"
I'll say, "This is where the magic happens."
-保准能卖♥♥掉 -太好了
- I'm sold! - Yes!
小伙伴 我等下要去商场
Hey, buddy. I got to hit the mall a little later.
你想不想到按♥摩♥椅上去享受下
You wanna grab a couple of chair massages
直到他们赶我们走
till they kick us out?
不了 我要跟几个朋友出去玩
Nah. I'm gonna go hang out with some of my friends.
好吧
Okay.
玩得开心
Have fun.
现在的青少年啊
Teenagers, huh?
是啊 越来越不想和我一起
Yeah, it's been happening more and more,
但这正常
but it's natural.
这个年龄的小孩需要空间
Kids that age want distance.
昨天他还紧紧抓着你的手
One day, they're holding your hand so tight it hurts.
第二天他们就把你想吃的苹果给吃了
The next day, they're eating the apple you kind of wanted.
我可不会
Not me.
我从来不会拒绝和我爸一起玩
I never turned down an offer to hang with my dad.
他很走运 我开始叛逆之前他就去世了
Luckily for him, he died before my rebellious teenage years.
肯定是外公和斯黛拉
That must be grandpa with Stella.
记住 莉莉 她只会在这呆一周
Remember, Lily, she's only gonna be here for a week,
她不会变成我们今后的宠物
She's not gonna be our permanent pet.
别跟我说 告诉拉里
Don't tell me, tell Larry.
他一整天都嫉妒得要死
He's been acting jealous all day.
你想太多了
You're being crazy!
老爸你好
Hey, Dad.
杰 你好 瞧瞧我们的小稀客
Hey, Jay.There's our precious little houseguest.
好了 听清楚
Okay, guys, listen up.
她每天要散三次步
She gets three walks a day.
别让她上♥床♥ 我们在训练这个
Keep her off the bed. We're training her.
吃鸡不能带骨头 如果她开始喘气
No chicken bones. If she starts to wheeze --
记不记得那次你送我去夏令营
Remember when you dropped me off at summer camp?
你车都没停稳就把我撂了下来
You barely slowed down the car.
你又没有会让你难以呼吸的病症
You never had a condition that made it difficult to breathe.
我当时是运动夏令营里没出柜的同性恋
I was a closeted gay kid at sports camp.
我一整周都迷迷糊糊的
I spent the week in mid-faint.
莉莉 别忘了多揉揉斯黛拉的小肚肚
Lily, don't forget to give Stella lots of belly rubs.
爷爷 这件事
Grandpa, this is coming
对我和拉里而言来的不是时候
at a really bad time for me and Larry.
好了 你别担心
Okay, well, now, don't you worry
莉莉现在还不喜欢你这件事
about wily not woving you yet.
你怎么这么可爱呢
Aw, who's the little weeble wobble?
-我看不下去了 -老爸再见
- I can't watch this. Okay. - Bye, Dad.
我也不知道 平常要是没事
Oh, I don't know. I guess in my free time,
我喜欢关注有关再生能源的
I like to keep up with the latest discoveries
最新研究
in renewable energy.
记住 再过几个月
Just think, a few more months
你就再也不用经历这事了
and you'll never have to deal with this again.
我不介意参加大学面试
You know, I don't mind college interviews.
我其实挺喜欢和他们讨论一些
I actually like discussing the things that they --
我刚在跟镜子说话
I was talking to the mirror.
我知道你想上的大学只需要你
I know all you had to do to get in your college
关注他们的Facebook就够了
was like their Facebook page,
但这可是普林斯顿大学
But this is Princeton.
我要向他们展现我缜密的思维
I have to show them that I'm a serious thinker,
你就不能支持我一下吗
and you could be a bit more supportive.
好吧 很抱歉
You're right. I'm sorry.
你的衣服很棒
Your outfit's perfect.
谢谢
Thanks.
如果你是要申请伐木学校的话
If you're applying to lumberjack school.
而且主修的是在死后被自己的猫吃掉
And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die.
早上好啊
Well, hello.
第一天感觉如何 回到衣柜...
How was your first day back in the closet...
行业工作
business?
你在说什么 我根本就没在这工作过
That doesn't make any sense. I've never worked here before.
那只是个基佬笑话 米奇尔
It's just a gay joke, Mitchell.
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