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Modern Family S06E15

Part 2 Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.

What are we, 30? Send her a text.
你得温柔地告诉她
You need to break it to her gently.
首先告诉她她超棒
First, tell her she's awesome.
而且好漂亮
And pretty.
如果她超棒而且漂亮
If she was awesome and pretty,
我根本不会甩了她
I wouldn't be dumping her.
照做你个蠢猪
Just do it, you pig.
我们都知道我不会那样做
We all know I'm not gonna do it,
如果你们想要这样给
so if you want it done, here.
别偷♥窥♥我的手♥机♥
Oh, and don't go looking around on there.
不会让你们更喜欢我的
It's not gonna make you like me more.
抱歉我觉得你坐了我的位置
's-scuse me. I think you're in my seat.
先生我们觉得你坐了她的位置
Sir, we think you're in her seat.
不我绝对是坐16C
No, I'm definitely 16c.
这是19C
This is 19c.
该死应该是往前三排
Oh, darn it, that's three rows up.
对不起
Sorry about that.
没事
That's all right.
欢迎
Hi. Welcome.
你能等会儿再坐吗
Um, could you hang back a second?
我手♥机♥掉了
I-I dropped my phone.
我也许有你想找的东西
I may have, uh, what you're looking for...
-在这里 -等等什么
- Right there. - Wait. What?
你好我是职业魔术师
Hi. I'm a professional magician.
老天爷啊你是爱德华·罗格朗
Holy sword-box, you're Edward LeGrand.
是的正是在下
Yeah, I am. I am.
我是菲尔·邓菲
I-I'm Phil Dunphy,
职业房♥地♥产♥经纪人业余魔术师
p-professional realtor, amateur magician.
-很高兴认识你 -你好我是吉莉安
- Well, nice to meet you. - Hi. I'm Jillian.
别人说我有魔法之手
I've been told I have magic hands.
我是按♥摩♥师
I'm a masseuse.
你为什么一直揉前臂
Why do you keep rubbing your forearm like that?
-有个行李箱砸到我了 -让我看看
- Oh, I-I had a suitcase land on me. - Oh, let me see.
菲尔
Hey, Phil... ohh.
我有个新魔术想表演给你看
...I've got a great new trick I want to show you.
我也可以表演魔术
Oh! Ooh, I can do tricks, too.
这地方联♥系♥着你的舌头
This spot's connected to your tongue.
需要我帮你放好包包吗
Can I stow your bag for you?
不我们会需要的
Mm. No, we'll be needing this.
八卦杂♥志♥
Trashy magazines.
你最好了
Oh, you're the best.
焦糖巧克力
Ooh. Caramel truffles.
我还多带了一个松软的颈枕
I even brought an extra fluffy neck pillow.
母亲的拥抱肯定就是这种感觉
Oh, this must be what a mother's hug feels like.
喂
Hello?
看来她把你照顾得很好
Well, it looks like she's taking good care of you.
她是我最好的朋友
Well, she is my best friend.
听我说胡里奥
Listen to me, Julio.
我要你今天清理好水沟不是明天[西语]
I want the gutters cleaned today, not manana.
如果人们都认为我们国家的人很懒
If everyone thought my people were lazy,
[美国人认为西班牙人很懒惰]
我会尽一切努力表现得勤奋
I would do whatever it took to not seem lazy.
明白了吗
Comprende?
实际上我们很快就要起飞了
Actually, we're gonna take off soon,
所以我们需要你关掉手♥机♥
so we're gonna need you to turn off your phone.
我还没说完呢再来两杯
I'm actually not done talking, and two more.
如果我是你
Well, if I were you,
我会放下玉米煎饼爬上梯子
I'd put down the burrito and get up that ladder.
你怎么还站在这里
What are you doing standing there
不给我和我的闺蜜克莱尔拿酒啊
and not getting drinks for me and my good friend, Claire?
实际上我们刚见面
Actually, we just met.
两位
Oh, guys, guys,
我不能让你们俩打扫
I can't let you do the cleanup all by yourselves.
罗纳多会帮忙
Ronaldo will help you.
当然啦
Of course!
萨尔在哪里
Uh, where is Sal?
我需要她的钥匙好把礼物搬上她的车
I need her keys to start loading the gifts in her car.
她好像在我们房♥间里给萨米换尿布
I think she's changing Sammy in our room.
希望她把窗帘也换了
I hope she's also changing those drapes. Oh!
我不想听起来像是个多愁善感的人
I don't want to sound like a sentimental softy,
但有谁想念
but does anyone miss
过去的那个醉婊♥子♥吗
the drunken whore she used to be?
我喜欢新的萨尔
Oh, I like the new Sal.
原来只需要一个小宝宝她的母性本能
Turns out, all she needed to bring out her maternal instinct
就焕发出来了
was a little baby.
我不信不有什么不对劲
I don't buy it. No, something's up.
你记得她建议我们把莉莉淹死在海里吧
You do remember her suggesting we chuck Lily into the ocean.
米奇尔冷静点宝宝会让人改变
Oh, Mitchell, calm down. Babies change people.
你以前是个愤世嫉俗的评判者
Like you used to be a judgmental cynic,
然后莉莉... 等等
and then Lily -- oh, wait.
萨尔没在那里
You guys, Sal's not back there.
-萨尔 -窗帘还在
- Sal? - The drapes still are.
真奇怪她的车不见了
Well, that's weird. Her car's gone.
什么
What?!
别太快下结论
Let's not jump to conclusions.
在这片地区她的车可能是被偷了
In this neighborhood, her car could have been stolen.
她看起来的确有些疲惫
Well, you know, she did seem frazzled.
也许她忘记说再见了
May-- maybe she forgot to say goodbye.
忘了她的所有礼物吗
Oh, and forgot all of her presents.
忘了她的宝宝
And forgot her baby.
你们不会觉得她...
You don't think that there's any way that she would --
不
N-no.
我都说不出口
I-I can't even say it.
我可以
I can.
女酒鬼抛弃了私生子
That gin-soaked tart abandoned the little bastard.
干什么他没有父亲
What? He's fatherless.
我说错了吗
Am I wrong?
我给萨尔打了五次电♥话♥
Okay, I've called Sal five times,
她还是没接
and she still hasn't picked up.
我就知道"大地母亲"什么的是一场戏
I knew this whole "Earth mother" thing was an act.
当我们指责一位母亲
Oh, maybe we should use our happy voices
抛弃了她的小宝宝时
when we're accusing a mommy
我们也许该用快乐的声音
of abandoning her little baby boy.
-这真是一场灾难 -不是吗
- Ugh. This is a true disaster. - Isn't it?
有人把西班牙式屋顶
Someone put a Spanish roof
盖在了中世纪农场式别♥墅♥上
on what is clearly a mid-century ranch.
不好
Oh, no.
有人刚拉屎了
Someone just went numero two.
余震依然绵绵不断
And the aftershocks are still rolling in.
这是她的尿布包这是...
Here's her diaper bag. And...what's --
等等这里有张字条
Oh, no. This, here's a note.
很抱歉以这样的方式离开
"I'm sorry to leave this way.
我并不感到自豪
I'm not proud of it,
但我真的受不了了
but I just can't do this anymore.
再见萨尔
Goodbye. Sal."
越来越难
It's getting harder and harder
不把这事往坏处想了
to keep a positive spin on this.
吃点奶酪吧
Here. Have some cheese.
不了谢谢我不吃
Oh, no. Thank you. I’m, I’m good.
天呐
Oh, my.
这味道还真重
That is strong.
天呐
Oh, my goodness.
看什么看
Hey. What are you staring at?
这可是法式奶酪
It's French cheese.
你一周的薪水都买♥♥不起
Costs more than you make in a week.
你最好小声点
Okay, you might want to keep your voice down.
-克莱尔 -怎么了
- Claire. - Yeah?
那边的帅哥在对你放电
That guy over there is checking you out!
我觉得他不是
I don't think he is.
我朋友克莱尔想在卫生间和你相会
My friend Claire would like to meet you in the bathroom.
我没那么说
No. I-I did not say that.