Oh, my gosh, get the ice cream!
我们要怎么办 该把她叫起来吗
What do we do? Should we wake her up?
然后说什么
And say what?
能烦请你从沙发上下来吗
"Would you mind terribly getting off our couch?
你貌似在给它涂油
You seem to be glazing it."
你还有更好的主意吗
Do you have a better idea?
好吧 到后面去
Okay, okay, go around the back.
我要怎么做 我要怎么做
What am I doing? What am I doing?
把这个垫到她下面
We'll get this underneath her.
有一次我帮一头母猪在我们家客厅地板上
Once, I helped a sow give birth to nine baby piglets
给八只猪仔接生
on our living room floor.
什么都没沾到油毯上
Didn't get a drop of nothin' on the linoleum.
等下再问你为什么客厅会有只母猪
We're gonna get back to why the sow was in the living room.
我们一起看戴安娜王妃的婚礼直播 太美了
Lady Di's wedding. It was beautiful.
小卡 我们会弄醒她的
Cam, she's gonna wake up.
怎么可能 她吃了那么多安♥眠♥药♥
Oh, please, she's got enough pills in her,
多到可以像响葫芦一样摇响了
she's gonna rattle like a maraca.
把她翻过来
Roll!
道格 不 我不想要
Doug, no, I don't wanna.
好吧 我该怎么办 我该怎么办
Okay, okay, what do I do? What do I do?
你从这边过来
You come back around this way.
不 道格
No, Doug.
现在这么办 我把她往这边推
Now, what we're gonna do is I'll push her this way
然后拉动毯子
and pull the blanket.
好 我得拉她是吗 好
Okay, I got to pull her? Okay.
要掉了 要掉了
I'm losing her. I'm losing her.
这样倒是也行 没问题的
This could work, too. It's fine.
怎 怎么了
What -- what happened?
你刚做恶梦了
You were having a really bad dream,
然后沙发睡着也不太舒服
and then you rolled right off
你就滚下来了
of our uncomfortable sofa.
真抱歉 我太孤独了
I'm sorry. I-I was lonely.
我跑出来
I came out here,
结果把你全家都吵醒了
and then I wound up waking up the whole house.
我简直是世界上最讨人厌的客人
I'm the worst houseguest in the world!
-别别别 -别别别
- Don't. - Don't.
道格说得对 我会孤独终老的
Doug was right. I'm gonna die alone.
-别别别 -别别别
- Don't. - Don't.
过来
Okay, come on.
你能不能安静点儿啊
Can you please be quiet?
真是太抱歉了 莉莉 都是我的错
I'm so sorry, Lily. It's all my fault.
我头疼
My head hurts.
-我去给你拿点止疼药 -好
- I'm gonna get you some aspirin. - Okay.
小卡 我们是不是太坏了
Cam, are we terrible people?
还不是为了保护范德考夫的沙发
For protecting a Vanderkoff?
他去年可是上吊自杀了
He hanged himself last year.
这玩意可是绝版 以后再也不会有了
It's not like they're making more of those.
我们刚刚把一个双相情感障碍的离婚妇女
We just rolled a bipolar divorcee
给滚到硬木地板上去了 还是脸先落地
face-first onto a hardwood floor.
就为了保护个沙发
All to protect a couch.
不只是个沙发 那是我们唯一的好东西
It's not just a couch. Our one nice thing.
我们过去七年一直用着这种油腻腻的台面
The last seven years have been about sticky countertops
丑不拉几的浴帘 还有儿童安全锁
and horsy shower curtains and childproof locks.
你知道这抽屉里是什么东西吗
Do you know what's in this drawer?
我都不知道抽屉里是啥
I don't know what's in this drawer.
完全不知道
I have no idea.
我知道这让人挺不爽的 好吧
Look, I know it's frustrating, all right?
但这不是我们爱惜东西而不爱惜人的理由
But is that really a reason to choose a thing over a person?
拜托 我们简直跟道格是一个档次的
I mean, come on. We're no better than Doug.
我觉得这对莉莉来说的确不是一个好榜样
I guess it's not a great example to set for Lily.
也许我们并不值得拥有这么一件好东西
Maybe we don't deserve one nice thing.
然后太阳升起了 所有的乌龟
"And when the sun came out, all the turtles,
从小A到小Z 都在野餐时愉快地玩耍
from Abner to Zeke, had fun at the picnic."
《乌龟们的下雨天》
"A rainy day for turtles."
这本书总能让莉莉高兴起来
It always makes Lily feel better.
我想她是觉得...
I guess she just thought that...
我们确实拥有一样好东西
We do have one nice thing.
然后一场美丽的雨
"And a beautiful rain--"
我们用不着非得看着它死去 走吧
Well, we don't have to watch it die. Come on.
走吧 杰
Let's go, Jay!
我们二十分钟后就该到野餐地点了
We're supposed to be at the picnic in 20 minutes!
他们在货车里都住了六年
They've been living in a van for six years.
多等一小会儿也不会怎么样
They can wait a little longer.
所以今天我是看不成球赛了
So, today, instead of watching the game,
我得去跟哥伦比亚人在草地上玩飞镖
I'll be playing lawn darts with Colombians,
谢谢你不长脑子
thanks to you not using your brain.
我要看这个 《骗中骗》
Here we go -- "The Sting."
倒是有人是得偿所愿了
Well, someone's getting what they want today.
你终于可以看你的宝贝电影了
You finally get to watch your precious movie, huh?
关于一场漫长骗局的传说
"A classic tale about a long con."
我今天就让给你了
Well, you're welcome.
等一下
Wait a minute.
流氓和出♥卖♥♥♥朋友的人遍地都是
"Rogues and double-crossers abound.
谁能胜过谁
Who will outsmart whom?"
混♥蛋♥
Son of a bitch.
你知道我利用狗狗成人礼派对
You knew I was using the bark mitzvah
当做讨价还价的筹码
as a bargaining chip.
所以你才说服歌♥洛丽亚回去
That's why you talked Gloria into coming back --
所以我就逃不掉这个野餐
So I couldn't weasel my way out of this stupid picnic
然后你就能独占大电视
and you'd get the big TV.
我现在盯上你了
Well, I'm onto you now.
我只不过是在读DVD封面
I was just reading off the DVD box.
你能相信吗
I mean, can you believe
布伦达过来住一晚上就带这么多东西
all the stuff Brenda brought for one night?
是啊 看那一堆东西
I know. Look at all this stuff over here.
超补水唇膏
Super replenishing balm?
毛孔收缩精华液
Uh, pore-reducing booster serum?
抗老化提亮珠珠
Anti-aging buffing beads?
当女人也太累了
It must be so hard to be a girl.
可不是嘛
I know. I know.
真让人担心以后莉莉要怎样
It really makes you worry about the world
应付这个不友好的世界
we're sending Lily out into.
女孩必须要完美无缺 这压力太大了
Well, there's so much pressure on girls to be perfect.
-你好了吗 -好了
- You ready? - Yep.
问题是 小卡
The thing is, Cam,
我们能做的就是把我们的价值观教给她
all we can do is instill our beliefs in her
期望她能做出明智的选择
and hope that she makes good choices.
镇静喷雾要么[冷静点了吗]
Calming mister?
这么谈一谈确实好多了
It does feel nice to talk about it.
不是 这是个镇静喷雾
No, this is a calming mister.
我刚买♥♥的
I just bought this.
哦是吗 要的
Oh, god, yes.
试试
Wanna try it?
剧集 | 摩登家庭 | 导航列表