摩登家庭

Modern Family S06E12

Part 2 Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.

他们把棍子举得好高谁都能过去
they hold it up so high anybody can get under it.
我没看见你躺在这里呢
I didn't see you there.
真的吗
Really?
上周一直在窗户里
So, is that your creepy twin brother
盯着我看的
who's been staring at me
是你的变♥态♥双胞胎兄弟吗
from the window for the last week?
我可以撒谎说"是"
Uh, I could lie and say "Yes."
你可以装作你没觉得高兴
You could pretend you weren't flattered,
但我们何不直入主题呢
but why not just cut to the chase?
那是什么
And what would that be?
我可以摸摸你的一些东西吗
I could maybe touch something of yours?
当然啦我也可以踢你的一些东西
Sure, and I could maybe kick something of yours.
我喜欢我们之间这么紧张
I like this tension.
很有"他们会吗什么时候"的感觉
Very "Will they, when will they?"
回你的房♥间去小男孩
Go back to your room, little boy.
知道了我到上面去看你
Got it. I'll see you from there.
一旦我们这样接近他们
Once we approach them with this,
我会很难跟市政♥府♥
it's gonna be awfully hard for me to log in
打匿名电♥话♥了
with my anonymous call to the city.
你没必要举报任何人
You're not gonna have to report anyone.
叫我大卫·科波菲尔吧
Call me David Copperfield,
因为我就要让一艘船消失了
'cause I'm about to make a boat disappear.
邻居们我给你们做了点香蕉面包
Hey, neighbors. I made you some banana bread.
我喜欢香蕉面包
Oh, I love banana bread.
我们的药房♥里也有这个
We have this at our dispensary,
不过里面会加大♥麻♥
except we got weed in it.
但我们可以把你的面包给孩子们来耍他们
But we could give this one to our kids as a trick.
这艘船真不错啊
This boat is really something.
你知道我们怎么称呼她吗
You know what we call her?
-"头奖" -因为你卖♥♥大♥麻♥
- "Jackpot"! - 'Cause you sell pot.
天啊我们从来没想到这一点
Holy cow, we never thought of that.
这是我这辈子最棒的一天
This is the best day of my life!
我可以登上来好好瞧瞧她吗
Permission to come aboard and check her out?
当然可以
Yeah!
前提是你说的是我的船而不是我妻子
That is, if you're talking about my boat and not my wife.
是啊你可不能登上我
Ooh, yeah, you can't climb aboard me.
反正在车道上不行
Well, not in the driveway, anyway.
-这真是太棒了 -是啊
- This is so great. - Yeah.
你去做了头发吗
Did you do something new with your hair?
买♥♥了一顶新假发还是怎么
Did you get a new wig or something?
这种漂亮的小船就该下水对吧
Sweet boat like this belongs in the water, am I right?
把船推下水的人们
Well, you know, people who put their boat in the water,
只能在周末使用船
they only use it on the weekend.
而我们每天都可以用
We get to use this baby every day.
你能想象
Can you imagine
每天都去码头上找这艘船吗
visiting this boat every day in the marina?
你花了很多钱买♥♥的东西
You spend a bunch of money on something,
就要让人们看见
you want people to see it.
所以我穿着低胸上衣
That's why I wear low-cut tops.
是啊听好了
Yeah! Listen up.
我得说实话
I just got to be honest.
我们对这艘船很有意见
We're having a hard time with the boat here.
什么你不喜欢"头奖"吗
What, you don't like Jackpot?
它太大了让我们很难
It's gigantic and makes it pretty tough
在我们的车道上停车
to park in our driveway.
那是因为你们侵犯到我们的车道了
Well, that's because you open your doors onto our driveway,
我们的船停在这里
where we keep our boat.
是啊根据城市规定
Yes, and, according to city regulations,
它不该出现在这里
it shouldn't even be here.
规定听到了吗
"Regulations." Hear that?
听着我们真的想保持友好
Look, we really do want to keep this friendly.
这船都在这里停了三周了
And it's been here for three weeks.
-是的它很美 -很俗气
- Yeah, and it's beautiful. - And it's tacky.
-冷静点 -你的话太难听了
- Settle down! - Hey, that is uncool!
船身上画着四张大A呢
There are four aces on the side of it.
这样吧
You know what?
我们现在要求你们上岸
We're gonna have to ask you to disembark.
那是"滚开"的船上用语
That's boat for "Get off."
是的这里不欢迎让人讨厌又扫兴的人
Yeah, there's no room up here for an uptight buzzkill.
不许说她让人扫兴
Don't call her a buzzkill.
没错很多人认为我很风趣
That's right. There's a lot of people who think I'm fun.
你抱怨星期五的烟火表演
You complain about fireworks Friday,
我儿子敲鼓的时候你也抱怨
you complain when my son plays his kick-ass drum set,
你买♥♥了窗帘挂在卧室的窗户上
you bought curtains for your bedroom window.
我们对你们做什么了吗
What have we ever done to you?
我想你回答了你自己的问题
I think you just answered your own question.
好这样吧
All right, you know what?
把你那半生不熟的香蕉面包拿走
Here, take your buzz-free banana bread
回你们那宝贵的车道去
and go back to your precious driveway.
很乐意
With pleasure.
还有克莱尔
By the way, Claire,
刚才我只是想表示友善
earlier, I was just being nice.
其实我根本不喜欢你的新假发
I do not like your new wig.
你不喜欢的是她的真头发
Hey, what you don't like is her real hair!
-菲尔 -颜色是染的
- Phil! - Uh, not the color.
菲尔
Hey, Phil!
你还认为我们应该态度好一些吗
Still think we need to be nice?
不是时候拿出强硬手段了
No. It's time for more drastic measures.
没人可以羞辱我的香蕉面包
No one insults... my banana bread.
-米奇尔 -菲茨不不要
- Mitchell. - F-fiz-- no! No!
我告诉过你不要偷偷接近我
What have I said about you sneaking up on me?
我可能在剃胡子
I could have been shaving.
场面可能会像《理发师陶德》里一样
This could have been a sweeney Todd moment.
莉莉继承了我扮小丑的才华
Because of me, clowning is in Lily's blood.
她是领养的
Adopted.
但她有天赋我们会证明给你看的
But she's a natural, and we're gonna prove it to you.
如果她不能逗你笑
If she doesn't make you laugh,
那她就再也不扮小丑
she'll quit clowning forever.
求你了
Come on.
来嘛
Please.
我向你介绍大众皆宜的亚洲面孔
I present to you the Asian for any occasion,
会让你转怒为喜的小丑
the clown that will invert that frown,
活力四射二人组菲茨宝和...
the dynamic duo of Fizbo and...
莉茨宝[似Limbo: 地狱]
Lizbo!
你没听出来吗
Are you not hearing that?
名字我们还在研究
We're working on the name.
不菲茨宝的帽子掉了
Oh, no, Fizbo dropped his hat.
它去哪了莉茨宝
Where did it go, Lizbo?
在那里
It's right there.
在这里呢
There it is!
不菲茨宝不要
No, Fizbo! No!
怎么了我拿回了我的帽子莉茨宝
What? I'm just putting my hat back on, Lizbo.
天呐
Oh, my --
五彩纸屑
Confetti --
希望菲茨宝知道怎么用吸尘器
I hope Fizbo knows how to vacuum.
谁把灯关了
Who turned out the lights?!
你把那些弄得到处都是
You're just spreading it around.
我试着对莉莉表示支持
I tried to be supportive for Lily.
我真的尝试了但是我真的想死
I really did, but I wanted to kill myself.
固定节目里没有这段
That's not part of the routine.
她真有天赋再来一次
She's a natural. Do it again.
好的来吧不要紧
Okay, here we go. Nothing to it.
尿吧
Make it rain.
好的我明白
Yeah, I-I get it.
有别人看着你你尿不出来
You -- you can't pee with another guy looking at you.
这不是什么坏事顺便说一句
Not a bad thing, by the way.
老天胡佛的中间名原来是克拉克
Son of a gun, his middle name was Clark.
杰
Jay!
能给我们留点隐私吗
May we have some privacy, please?
为什么
For what?