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Modern Family S06E12

Part 4 Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.

于是开始做一些攻击性的表演
and she resorted to mean-spirited gags.
接着就在一瞬间你猜怎么着
And then all of a sudden, guess what.
你就成了笑笑先生[游戏人物]
You're Mister Mcgiggles!
这个人物是不是就像你叔叔
Oh, is he like an uncle to you?
我最失望的一点就是我丈夫居然
You know what hurt the most is that my husband
想让我们的女儿也讨厌我的爱好
turned our daughter against something that I love.
我们很感激你们的帮助
Guys, we appreciate all your help,
但你们不该在上面啊
but you probably shouldn't be up there.
我不介意
I don't mind.
那是大♥麻♥的味道吗
Is that weed I smell?
你居然卖♥♥毒品给他们
Wait, you gave them pot?
别瞎说我的生意完全合法
No, I run a legitimate business.
我才不会冒这个险
I'm not gonna risk it for that.
这些是他们自带的
They brought their own.
老爸
Dad?
-不是我 -是我和维克托
- Not me, son. - It's me and Victor.
这能缓解我的关节痛
Makes my arthritis feel better.
而我还在缓解我的懒惰
And I'm in remission from being lame.
弗兰克你的啤酒
Here's your beer, Frank.
-罗尼谢谢 -不客气
- Thank you, Ronnie. - Right on.
上菜啦这是猪包毯
Here you go, guys. Pigs in a blanket.
谢谢
Thank you, darling.
你们在干什么
What are you guys doing?!
你的任务是惹怒他们
You're supposed to be annoying them.
-他们不会惹怒我的 -什么
- These guys could never annoy me. - What?
罗尼
Oh, Ronnie!
抱歉儿子罗尼居然也当过兵
Sorry, son, it turns out Ronnie's a fellow army man.
何况到了我们这个年纪
Plus, at our age,
我们很难讨厌关心老人的人
it's tough not to like someone who pays attention to us.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
我早该猜到的
I should have known better.
我爸就是这么受人喜爱
My dad's too loveable.
这是他最大的缺点
It's always been his biggest flaw.
闻上去好像在开派对啊
Hey, smells like a party!
回屋去
Back inside.
遵命
Okay, then.
*乖乖坐到马桶上*
*Take your body down to the potty*
*一起嘘嘘乐趣多*
*To have some fun and go number one*
这都是些什么啊
What is this filth?
我什么都试过了
I tried everything,
视频书籍家教网站
videos, books, parenting websites.
我连改编游戏都试过了
I even tried to make a game out of it.
还是没办法让他学会用马桶
Nothing could get that kid to use the toilet.
另外千万别在网上搜索"尿尿游戏"
By the way, do not search "Peeing games" on the internet.
乔你想要什么我不缺钱
Okay, Joe, what's it gonna be? I'm a wealthy man.
告诉我你要多少
Just give me a number.
七
Seven.
我刚刚发现
I just found out that's how old I was
原来我七岁才学会系鞋带
when I learned to tie my shoes.
不是你告诉我的两岁
Not 2, like I was told.
曼尼别这样
Okay, please, Manny.
我可能是夸张了点
I might have exaggerated a little bit,
但我一直都这样
but I do that all the time.
哥伦比亚其实是个很正常的国家
Columbia actually is a very normal place.
我的成就都是假的
My accomplishments are all lies.
我一次只能安慰一个受伤的孩子
I can only deal with one traumatized child at a time.
杰放过那可怜的孩子吧
Please, Jay, let that poor baby off the toilet.
新计划
Okay, new plan--
我们就让他待在这里直到他昏睡过去
we leave him on the throne till he conks out,
然后把他的手放进一碗温水里
then we dunk his hand in a bowl of warm water--
你疯了
That's crazy.
你知道这种事急不来的
You know that you can't rush these things.
抚养克莱尔和米奇时你经历过的
You did it before with Claire and with Mitch.
我不这么认为
I don't think he did, mom.
他经历过对吧
Yes, he did, right?
我忙着发展自己的衣柜事业
Well, I was a little busy building a closet empire.
当时又很流行壁球
And racquetball was pretty big back then.
也许这就是为何你如此看中此事
Maybe that's why this is so important to you.
你错过了他们人生中的重要阶段
You missed so many milestones in their lives,
你不想在乔的身上也发生这种事
you don't want to miss them with Joe.
这是你的第二次机会
This is your second chance.
别担心杰他知道你爱他
But don't worry, Jay. He knows you love him.
我想让他知道我一直在他身边
I'd like him to remember that I'm there for him.
谁知道我还有没有第二次机会
I mean, who knows if I'll get another chance.
我知道你不会的
I know. You won't.
他也不用记得这些
And he won't have to remember you
因为你会一直在他身边
because you're always going to be here.
忘了吧
Forget it.
休息一下
Come on. Let's give it a rest.
可怜的宝宝我给了他这么大压力
The poor kid, all that pressure I put on him.
尤其是他的膀胱
Especially his bladder.
你肚子里估计憋了一加仑的苹果汁
You've probably got a gallon of apple juice in there, buddy.
你发现了吗
Did you see that?
你发现自己多么理解杰了吗
Did you see how you understood Jay?
这就是你的特别之处
That's what makes you so special.
任何人都可以学会走路
Anyone can learn how to walk
或是对着尿壶撒尿
or pee in a potty.
你是我所知的最敏感最具洞察力的人
You're the most sensitive and insightful person I have ever known,
你一直都是这样
and you have always been.
过来抱抱小宝贝
Come here, papi.
他在撒尿
He's peeing!
-他在撒尿 -我的小天才
- He's peeing! - My little genius!
我就知道你能做到的小家伙
I knew you could do it, buddy!
杰他还没撒完呢
ay, Jay, he's not done.
我靠撒我一身
Aw, hell. It's all over me.
你能抱着他吗
Would you take him?
莉莉
Lily!
-是你啊 -行了
- Oh, it's you. - Okay.
过来来我们好好谈谈
Come here. Come on. Let's have a little talk.
听着我知道你在对大爸
All right, I know that I have been laughing
实施整盅行为时我也笑了
at some of the stuff that you've been doing to daddy,
但我不该笑的
but I shouldn't have.
我知道你很喜欢这样
I know that you love this,
但我不希望你成为那种伤害别人的小丑
but I don't want you to be the type of clown that hurts people.
我那么做不是为了逗你笑
I don't do that to make you laugh.
你不是吗
You don't?
那你为什么那么做
Well, then why do you do it?
我很讨厌那样我不想当小丑的
I hate it. I don't want to be a clown.
真的好古怪
It's so weird.
你是说真的吗
Oh, are you serious?
那些笑话一点都不好笑
The jokes aren't funny
每个人还在叫喊着
And everybody's all,
"滴滴叭叭乌拉乌拉"
"Honk, honk, ah-ooga, wah, wah."
我好爱你天啊
Oh, Lily, I love you so much. Oh, my gosh.
那你为什么不直接告诉他啊
W-w-why didn't you just tell him?
我不想伤害他的感情
I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
我心想如果我是个糟糕的小丑
So I figured if I was a bad clown,
他就会让我放弃的
he'd want me to stop.
亲爱的你不用担心这个的
Oh, honey, you don't have to worry about that.
他会理解的
He'll understand.
你不必对大爸言听计从的
You don't have to do what daddy does.
你只需要告诉他实话就行了
You just need to tell him the truth.
-告诉我关于什么的实话啊 -没什么
- Tell me the truth about what? - Nothing!
不莉莉没关系的
No, Lily, it's -- it's okay.
很抱歉大爸但我不想再当小丑了
I'm sorry, daddy, but I think I want to stop being a clown.
为什么啊你明明很喜欢啊
Oh, but why? Y-you loved it.
因为...
Because...
因为我永远无法像菲茨宝那么出色
Because I'll never be as good as Fizbo.
他那么有趣特别又充满魔力
He's just so funny and special and magical.
亲爱的听着
Sweetie -- well, listen.