摩登家庭
Modern Family S06E11
Part 3
Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.
Look, I've tried really hard to put up with a lot since...
怎么了
What's going on?
跟你在一起真开心
Oh, I just had so much fun with you!
我们一起玩的机会太少了
We don't do this enough.
真希望有什么可以让你教我的
I just wish there was something that you could teach me.
等等 你教我柔道怎么样
Wait, what about your judo stuff?
你不会感兴趣的
Uh you're not interested in that.
才不是 我有兴趣 来嘛
No! No! I am! Come on!
来个斜劈还是什么的
Karate-chop me or something!
那不是...
That is not --
好吧 我教你
Okay. All right.
我们先做一个简单的动作
Let's just do one simple move.
好的
Okay.
不会弄皱我的上衣吧
Now, this won't wrinkle my top, will it?
这可太有意思了
That was actually fun!
再教我一次
Show me one more time.
不
Oh, no!
天呐 我以为又失去你了呢
Oh, my gosh. I thought I lost you again.
等等 倒回去 又是怎么回事
Wait, wait, wait. Back up. Again?
是啊 差点出车祸的时候
Oh, yeah, when we almost got killed,
我以为把手♥机♥摔坏了
I thought I lost my phone.
那可真恐怖
It was really scary.
曼妥思喷射器 第二次测试
Mentos-pramp-climb, test number two.
经验教训 当压力达到危险等级
Lesson learned -- when pressure builds to dangerous levels,
必须得到释放
it must be released.
是你的嘴好些了 还是你的脸变红了
Is your lip getting better or your face getting redder?
我去客厅啦
Just gonna pop into the family room.
你在搞什么
What the hell was that?!
这才刚刚开始呢
Oh, I'm just getting started!
为什么你要这样傻...
Why do you have to be such a silly --
海莉 住手
Haley, stop!
妈妈
Mom!
菲尔 亲爱的
Phil, honey.
我本来就心情沉重
I was already on edge.
前一天 我和妈妈在公园
The day before, I was with my mom at the park
有个骑自行车的人抢走了她的手♥机♥
when some guy on a bike swiped her phone.
他一定是个惯犯
He must have been a criminal mastermind.
只那一秒她没在给乔拍照
He struck the one second she wasn't
就被他抓住了
taking pictures of Joe.
最糟的是 我眼看着他抢走手♥机♥
The worst part is, I saw him grab it.
我本来有机会做点什么
I had a chance to do something
在妈妈面前做个英雄的 可我僵住了
and be a hero to my mom, but I froze.
你会怎么做
What would you have done,
使他成为讽刺漫画的主角吗
made him the subject of a satirical cartoon?
那些漫画曾扳倒过总统
Hey! Uh, they've taken down presidents.
你能不能支持我一下
Now, can you just support me here?
并没有多少机会可以让儿子为...
There are only so many moments a son has a chance to --
真成熟
Very mature.
挑起事端 然后又不理我了吗
Pick a fight then tune me out?
我才不在乎 停下
It's not bothering me. Stop it!
爸爸 音乐声调小点
Dad, turn down that song!
*办不到*
*No can do.*
你确定吗 曼尼
You sure, Manny?
是的 我走回家
Positive. I-I'll walk home.
-我们差点死了 -是啊
- We almost died. - Yeah.
白人
White.
是的 我确定
Yes, I'm sure.
有那么难想象犯罪的是白人吗
Why is it so hard for you to imagine
就算大多数罪犯都是...
that a criminal can be white when most of the --
你说单车的颜色啊
Ah, the bicycle.
是的 是白色
Yes, yes, it was white.
你手♥机♥不是被偷了吗
I thought your phone got stolen?
这是乔的手♥机♥
This is Joe's phone.
所以恐♥怖♥分♥子♥才痛恨我们
This is why the terrorists hate us.
整个世界冰冷无情
The universe is cold and unfeeling.
唯一不变的只有混乱
The only constant is chaos.
巧克力薄饼又卖♥♥光了吗
Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?
我们差点被卡车撞死
We were all almost killed by a truck.
我的天啊 你没事吧 宝贝
Ay Dios mio! Are you okay, papi?
都是菲尔的错对吧
This was all Phil's fault, wasn't it?
他老是听那种该死的新潮音乐
He's always blaring that damn new wave music!
不 他急转弯避开了
No. He swerved to avoid it.
救了我的命
Saved my life.
不过生命无法自主
But the game of life is rigged.
死亡不可避免
Death always win.
好了 我知道你现在需要什么
Okay, I know what you need right now --
去冰淇淋店
A trip to the ice-cream shop.
他不需要冰淇淋
He doesn't need ice cream.
他要讲讲刚才发生的事
He needs to talk about what just happened to him.
我可以去吃点冰淇淋的
Well, I could go for some ice cream.
我知道怎么安慰我儿子
I know how to fix my son.
就这么安慰吗
So, this is fixed.
绕过去
Go around.
平时为了尊重你
Normally, I'd be avoiding these cracks
我都尽量避免这样的时刻
out of respect of your back, Mom,
可过了今天好像都没有意义了
But after today, it seems pointless.
够了 上车
That's it. Get in.
不要 杰 他害怕
No, Jay, he's afraid!
这样只会更糟
It's only gonna get worse.
上车 相信我
In. Trust me.
上车五分钟他就会春光灿烂了
Five minutes in here, he'll be happy as a clam.
妈妈呀
Aah! Mama!
冷静
Calm down.
这主意很烂
This was a bad idea.
下车
Hop out.
这就对了 杰 要等他准备好
Good for you, Jay. It has to be when he is ready.
-不 他来开 -什么
- Nope. He's driving. - What?
什么 我做不到
What? I-I can't.
你给我开
You're doing it now.
神啊 开车吧
Jesus, take the wheel.
他坐后面就够害怕的了
He's terrified to be in the back.
现在你要让他坐前座
Now you're gonna put him in the front seat
这样他就能把我们都弄死了
so that he can kill all of us?!
你能别火上浇油了吗
Can you not make this fear worse?
我看过米奇尔怕黑的时候
I watched Dede coddle Mitchell
迪迪是怎么过分呵护他的
when he was afraid of the dark.
他到七岁还是眨眼每次只眨一边
Till he was seven, he'd only blink one eye at a time --
害得不少女生误会了
gave a lot of girls a very wrong idea.
曼尼 你不想这么做对吧
Manny, you don't want to do this right?
不 我不想
No, I really don't.
好的 宝贝 要不我们换吧
Okay, papi, you know what? Let's switch.
我来开
I'm going to drive.
妈妈 我很怕[我有个美人儿]
I've got a bombshell, mom.
宝贝 多谢 但是我们这个姿势
Ay, papi, thank you, but this is a very weird thing
说这种话太诡异了
to say when we're in this position.
不 我决定永远不开车了
No, I've decided I'm never driving.
不行
No way.
你坐这 你坐那
You there. You there.
按我说的做
We're doing this my way.
每次都是要么按你说的做
Ah, yeah, 'cause it's your way
要么就滚蛋[上高速]
or the highway.
天啊 不要上高速
Oh, God. Not the highway.
你一直让我像个父亲一样教导他
You always want me to be his dad.
我这不是在做吗
Well, I'm being his dad.
我真的好怕 杰
Oh, uh, I-I'm really scared, Jay.
这就是我们要解决的问题
This is what we're fixing.
我还是个孩子的时候
Look, when I was a kid,
住在一个巨大的吓人的黑色湖旁
I lived by a big, scary black lake.
我一直觉得湖里有怪兽
I always thought there monsters in there and whatnot.
一天晚上 我爸把我拉下床
One night, my dad dragged me out of bed
然后直接把我踹进湖里
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