摩登家庭
Modern Family S06E12
Part 3
Nov. 29, 2019, 11:33 a.m.
这样乔就可以继续咬电线了吗
So that Joe can keep chewing on the electrical cord?
我们 我们不为这鼓掌吗
O-oh, we're -- we're not clapping for this?
我跟你说过他没准备好
I told you that he was not ready, and when he is,
为什么不让他母亲来照看他呢
why don't you let his mother take care of it?
要知道 我养育了两个正常的孩子
You know, I raised two fully functional children.
你还有两个我不知道的孩子吗
You have two kids that I don't know about?
拜托 就让乔按部就班长大吧
Please, just let Joe go on his own schedule.
曼尼两岁半才学会用座便
Manny learned to potty-train when he was 2 1/2.
你跟我说是十三个月的时候
You told me it was 13 months.
我可能是有点夸张了
I may have exaggerated a little bit.
两岁半一点也不超前
2 1/2 isn't advanced at all.
你还夸张了什么事
What else did you exaggerate?
我三岁的时候真的喜欢莎士比亚吗
Did I really like Shakespeare when I was 3?
比起莎士比亚来 你更喜欢果冻
Not so much Shakespeare as Jello.
我说的第一个词真的是"拿铁"吗
Was my first word really "Latte"?
不是"拿铁" 是"果冻"
Not so much "Latte" as "Jello."
天呐 我就是个正常人
Oh, my god. I'm normal.
相信我 孩子 没人觉得你正常
Trust me, kid, no one's saying that about you.
那你为什么要那样跟我说
Why did you tell me all those things?
为了提升你的自信心
To give you confidence.
你很需要自信 因为当时
You needed it because you were having
你学识字遇到了很大的困难
so much trouble learning how to read.
这说不通啊
This makes no sense.
是的 你以前也总这么说
Yes, that what you always used to say.
我并没有灰心
I wasn't deterred.
我知道莉莉拥有成为优秀小丑的天份
I knew Lily had what it took to be a great clown.
还用问吗
I mean...
她只是需要找到适合自己的形象
She just needed to find her persona,
过程可能会很痛苦 尤其对我来说
and that process can be painful, especially for me.
莉莉
Ohh, Lily!
早安 邻居们
Good morning, neighbors.
天气真好
Beautiful day, huh?
嘴里抹了蜜也没用
Don't even try to sweet-talk us.
这艘俗船哪里也不会去
This tacky boat ain't going anywhere.
那是什么
Hey, what's that?
我不知道 会是什么呢
I don't know. What could it be?
菲尔不是那种报复心很重的人
Phil is not a vindictive guy.
他现在还会听米利瓦尼利的歌♥
He still listens to Milli Vanilli.
该乐队首张专辑大获成功后 传出幕后代唱丑闻
我可以对着这丑闻起舞
It's a scandal I can dance to.
可罗尼和安布尔不配见友好版菲尔
But Ronnie and Amber don't deserve nice Phil.
他们对我的女人不敬
They dissed my woman,
所以我请了大人物来对付他们
so I called in the big guns.
你现在真性感
You are so sexy right now.
姑娘 你知道事实如此[米利瓦尼利经典歌♥名]
Girl, you know it's true.
又恢复老样子了
Oh, there it goes.
那是我儿子吗
Is that my son
还是世界上最让人心花怒放的镜子
or am I looking in the world's most flattering mirror?
真是风趣又振奋人心
That's funny and uplifting!
当然
It is!
多谢你这么快就过来
Thanks for coming so fast.
我们打给你的时候你在哪
Oh. Where were you when we called?
谁知道 看起来都一样
Who knows? It all looks the same.
不是亚利桑那州就是新墨西哥州
Either Arizona or New Mexico.
甚至有可能是真的墨西哥
Or maybe even regular Mexico.
多谢你们能来 各位
Thanks for coming, fellas.
-你们好 -爷爷
- Hey, guys. - Grandpa!
我的小姑娘们来了 你们好吗
There's my little girls. How are you?
这是什么意思
What the hell is this?
我们看到你停车位上的船
We see your driveway boat
所以帮你找了群退休老人来护航
and raise you a convoy of retirees.
我想再给你生三个孩子
Oh, I want to have three more of your babies.
你的自驾游怎么样
How was your road trip?
亮点在密苏里州的布兰森
The highlight came in Branson, Missouri,
维克托追尾了雅科夫·斯米诺夫的越野车
when Victor rear-ended Yakov Smirnoff's S.U.V.
[俄♥罗♥斯♥裔美国喜剧演员]
交换信息的过程超搞笑
The exchange of information was hilarious,
但也很累人
but frustrating.
我完全听不懂发生了什么
I don't understand anything that's happening.
"在我的国家
"In my country,
车给我上保险"
car has insurance for me."
这一类的
that sort of thing.
笑就好了
Just laugh.
某天我们会怀念这个时刻的
One day, we'll treasure these moments.
你们说服我了
I guess you guys convinced us.
在前院里摆一个大型消遣性♥交♥通工具
It's awesome having Giant recreational vehicles
真的很棒
in your front yard.
我们知道你们打什么主意了
Oh, we see what you two are doing.
好戏还在后面呢
You're gonna see a whole lot more,
这些老家伙们喜欢穿着短款睡袍耍太极
'cause these old guys like to do Tai Chi in shorty robes.
没用的 我喜欢跟老人家玩
This ain't gonna work. I like hanging with old people.
让我感觉自己身材特好
Makes me feel in-shape.
他们睡不着还听不见
They can't sleep and they can't hear.
所以会整晚都开着收音机
They're gonna be blasting talk radio all night long.
我喝醉以后打呼特别响
When I get drunk, I snore real loud,
所以什么都听不见
so I won't hear a thing.
我们就是想让你体会一下
We just wanted to give you a taste
跟你做邻居是什么感觉
of what it's like to have you for a neighbor.
我喜欢我们的嘴凑这么近
I love how close together all our mouths are.
好吧
Okay.
爸 那个
Hey, dad, what's the --
丽塔·海华丝那个电影讲啥来着
What's the plot of that Rita Hayworth movie?
我朋友很想知道
My friends here were wondering.
我们的暗号♥
That's my cue.
该去帮我儿子处理船的事了
Time to help my boy get rid of a boat.
《上海小姐》
Uh, "Lady from Shanghai"?
就是那部
That's the one.
我记不清细节了
I-I can't remember all the details.
不过里面肯定有匹马
Pretty sure there was a horse in that movie.
还是个婴儿来着
Or was it a baby?
搞笑的是 这些都不在上海
Funny thing -- none of it was in Shanghai.
还是都在上海来着
Or was all of it in Shanghai?
好吧 我讲到哪里了 对了
Anyway, where was I? Oh, right.
所以 不管是马还是婴儿
So, either the horse or this baby...
我要把这些放进车里
I'm just putting these in the car.
我帮♥穷♥人♥家的孩子练举重
I help underprivileged kids lift weights.
你连车都不会开呢
You can't even drive yet.
好吧 你知道了我的秘密 你的呢
Okay, you know my secret. What's yours?
你真觉得这种方式会有用吗
Do you honestly think any of this is gonna work?
我不知道自己在干什么
I don't know what I'm doing.
在你身边我都不知道该怎么说话了
I-I have no clue what to say when I'm around you,
可我一直在想你
but I think about you all the time.
好吧 我的秘密是这个
Fine. Here's my secret.
我装得这么高冷
I put all these walls up and act tough,
可其实 我从来没跟男生恋爱过
but... I've never really been with a boy before.
真的吗
Really?
我也没有跟女孩恋爱过
Because I've never been with a girl.
天呐 真可悲
oh, my God. Pathetic.
回家找妈妈去吧 小婊砸
Run home to your mommy, you little bitch.
莉茨宝在里面吗
Is Lizbo in here?
她应该在我们房♥间
I think she's in our room.
小卡
Cam.
如果你没有背着我行动的话
You know, you wouldn't be in this position
就不会落到这般田地
if you hadn't gone behind my back.
如果我丈夫足够支持我
I wouldn't be in this position if I had...
我也不会落到这般田地
a supportive husband.
我倒想听听看 这怎么成了我的错
Okay. Really, I would love to hear how this is my fault.
昨天 莉莉非常用心地为你表演
Yesterday, Lily performed her heart out for you.
能表演扫帚把戏她很激动
She was so excited to do that broom routine,
可你毫无反应
and you gave her nothing.
她感到失望
So she got desperate,
摩登家庭
Modern Family
剧集 | 摩登家庭 | 导航列表