凯文救世界

Kevin (Probably) Saves the World S01E15

Part 3 June 30, 2020, 6:53 a.m.

我就该让这声音永远地在他们耳边回响着
I should just let it ring in their ears forever.
但我不会因为我人太好了
But I won't, because I'm nice.
没了我后祝你们这些混♥蛋♥好运
Good luck without me, jerks.
所以说是你
So, it's you.
- 不 - 天哪
- Oh. - Oh, my God!
这喝起来就跟毒药一样
Oh, my God! That tastes like poison!
你到处都检查过了吗
You checked everywhere?
他平时去的地方都找了
All his usual spots.
新奥尔良去看了吗
Well, what about New Orleans?
我打赌戴夫喜欢新奥尔良
I bet Dave would like New Orleans.
去看过了没找到
Looked there, too. No dice.
戴夫天生是个潜伏的高手
Dave's best talent is lying low.
他准备好以后自然会现身的
He'll pop up when he's ready.
你现在要去哪儿
Where are you going?
贝基的生活被我搅乱了
I... I messed up Becky's life,
而现在老天想让我补救
and the Universe wants me to fix it.
为什么这事的难度这么高
Why... Why... Why does this have to be so hard?
- 什么这么难 - 我是说我帮了一个人后
- What's so hard? - Well, I mean, I help one
另一个人就会受到伤害
person and hurt another.
还有我连出门约会
Meanwhile, I can't even go on a date
老天都会不停召唤我
without the Universe paging me.
老天是在给你机会
The Universe is giving you a chance
帮助你伤害过的人
to help someone you wronged.
那是你的福分
That's a blessing.
但如果我帮助了贝基后
But what if... What if I help Becky,
其他人又被我伤害到了怎么办
and then I hurt someone else?
那你再帮助那个人
Then you help that person.
这事情根本一点都不复杂
It's not complicated. At all.
我现在要将功补过
Well, I'm... I'm making this right.
帮贝基争取回她的工作
I'm getting Becky her job back, so...
凯文·菲恩
Kevin Finn.
我是管♥理♥员♥波比
Officer Popeil.
我在全体职员的数据库的认出了你
Recognized you from the faculty database.
我都不知道数据库里有我的信息
Oh. I didn't know that I was in the database.
我在给每个校内工作人员的背景进行一些
Yeah, I'm just running some standard background checks
常规检查罢了而且我有
on everyone at the school, and
过目不忘的记忆力
I kind of have a photographic memory.
菲恩凯文你社保帐号♥的后四位是 9612
Finn, Kevin. Last four digits of your Social... 9612.
你全都记得住吗
That's all in your mind?
- 老♥习♥惯了 - 哇
- Old habits, yeah. - Wow!
我曾在奥斯汀工作了二十五年
25 years on the job in Austin.
现在是保卫处的新任领导
I'm the new head of security.
是吗
Oh. Really?
没错
Yeah.
我发现退休生活非常无聊
Turns out retirement's pretty boring.
另外我要赞助孙女的
Plus, I'm helping my granddaughter
护士学校的学费
pay for nursing school.
她一心只想行医救人
All she wants to do is help people.
我只能这么帮她了对吧
Least I can do is help her, right?
没错那简直太
Yeah. Yep, that's, uh, really...
你做的也是好事一件
That's a good thing you're doing.
总而言之我希望能再见到你菲恩老师
Anyway, I hope to see you around, Mr. Finn.
或者说我应该称呼您风趣老师
Or should I say "Mr. Funn"?
我也用了这个梗
I make that joke, too!
英雄所见略同
Great minds.
哇他太...
Well, I mean, that guy's a total...
我是说他是个他太
I mean, he's... He's, like, just so...
不用说了
No.
- 他人真好 - 心地太善良了
- Oh, my God, he's so nice. - He is so nice.
我真希望有这么一个爸爸
I wish he were my dad.
我不能让他丢了工作
I can't get him fired.
会毁了他和他孙女的生活的
I'll ruin his life and his granddaughter's life,
那些本来她能救活的人
and then all the people whose lives she would've
会因为她成不了护士而丢掉性命
saved because she couldn't become a nurse.
我好像是引发了最糟糕的多米诺效应
I'm like the world's worst domino.
差不多吧
Yeah. Kind of.
看起来不是啮齿动物
Well no signs of rodents.
也不是鬼
Or ghosts.
我也没有任何发现
Yeah, I'm not finding anything either.
要不如砸墙吧
I could start opening up the walls.
让我们看看有啥权宜之计
Let's try an interim step
再来决定是不是要大搞破坏
before getting to full-scale destruction.
我找到了这个
I found this.
瑞斯用过的婴儿监护器
Oh! Reese's old baby monitor.
装上它看看能不能找到什么
You can set it up, see if you catch anything.
好主意
That's a really good idea.
我还找到了这个
I also found this.
我的宾果帽
My bingo hat.
等等你
Wait. You...
你有宾果帽
You have a bingo hat?
当然游戏的时候戴着
Yeah. To play bingo in.
啥不要不要我自己留着的
What? No, no, no. I'm keeping this.
我要明天戴着去上班的
I am wearing this to work tomorrow.
- 这颜色真是衬你 - 答对了
- It's a good color on you. - Bingo!
把大家都叫过来开告别晚会
Putting together a goodbye party
你对贝基真是太好了
for Becky was pretty nice.
尴尬的是等人被炒了才开
Awkward, throwing one for someone who was fired.
我真是觉得对不住她
I-I felt bad for her, so...
天你邀请了那个抢了她工作的人
Oh! And you... And you invited the guy who took her job.
真是尴尬透了
That's... also awkward.
你没必要对贝基负责的
Becky is not your responsibility.
我想说我跟你实话实说
I'm gonna... I'm gonna be honest with you.
贝基被炒是因为我
I'm the reason Becky got fired.
不不是你
No, you're not.
我是今年恶搞新生的幕后策划
I'm the mastermind behind this year's Freshman Prank.
我知道
I know.
效果好到能排第二
Because it was so good. Second best ever.
听我说贝基被开除
Listen, Becky didn't get fired
但原因不是新生恶搞
because of the Freshman Prank.
等等不是吗
Sh... Wait. She didn't?
贝基太善良了
Becky is very sweet.
贝基不是个称职的保安
Becky is a terrible security guard.
良心讲差不多就是最差的
Like, honestly, just the worst.
她她不锁学校的大门
She... She left the school doors unlocked
基本上整个二月份都不锁
almost every day in February.
她上周还把化学实验室给点着了
She... She set the chem lab on fire just last week.
好吧她在实验室都做了什么
Well, what was she doing in the chem lab?
我当时正在研发我的新产品
I was working on this idea I had for a new product.
显然是有那么一点易燃的
And apparently it was slightly flammable.
你发明了很多东西吗
Do you invent a lot of things?
是啊我有太多想法了
Yeah. I have a ton of ideas.
你知道新奇的物件吗
You know all that cool stuff
就是深夜资讯广♥告♥里能看到的那些
that you see on late-night information commercials?
电视购物吗
Infomercials?
不是
No.
没所谓了我总是看这样的节目
Anyway, I watch them all the time.
我记得有个人
Like, there's this guy,
他发明的小东西
and he invented this little thing
放到洗澡间的排水处
that goes in a shower drain,
能截住掉下来的头发就不会堵下水道了
and it catches hair so you don't get a gross clog.
就是这么简单
It's so simple,
却能让我们的生活便捷那么一点点
but it makes someone's life like 1% better.
我就想做这样的事儿
I want to do that.
挺不错的你还发明了些什么
Well, what... what else have you invented?
这个嘛既然你问了
Oh, well, since you asked...
这个叫自卫枪
This is the Mazer.
这是做什么的
What does it do?
自我防御的新一代利器
Well, it's the next big thing in self-defense.
高压电枪结合辣椒喷雾的产物
It's a stun gun combined with pepper spray.
但每次我想实践想法的时候
But here's the problem I encounter