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通常我照镜子的时候
Usually, when I looked into the mirror,
只能看到自己的缺点
I could only focus on my flaws.
例如我的小腹不够平坦
That my stomach wasn't flat enough,
我的大腿不够纤细
my thighs weren't thin enough.
我的臀部不够翘
My butt wasn't high enough.
但我终于有了别的关注点
But I finally had something else to focus on.
那让我觉得自己是无敌的
It made me feel invincible.
亚瑟王有石中剑 而我有皇冠
King Arthur had Excalibur and now, I had a crown.
我要成为王后 没什么能阻止我
I was going to be a queen and nothing could get in my way.
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
不可能
No way.
什么鬼
What the eff?
什么鬼 什
What the eff? Wha--
你到底为什么会给全学校人
Why the hell did you send out
发一张迪克西·辛克莱私处的图片
a picture of Dixie Sinclair's hoo-ha to the entire school?
我没发过
I didn't.
我的天 看起来是从我的手♥机♥上发的
Oh, my God! It looks like it came from my phone.
你究竟从哪弄的迪克西的
How did you even get a picture of Dixie's--?
我没弄过 我没有图片
I didn't. I don't have one.
这到底是怎么发生的
How would this even happen?
你的手♥机♥呢
Where's your phone?
你确定你整个早晨都带着手♥机♥了吗
You're sure you had this with you the entire morning?
-确定 -肯定有人黑了你的手♥机♥
- Yes. - Somebody must have hacked your phone.
谁会黑掉帕蒂的手♥机♥呢
Who would hack Patty's phone?
明显是某个手握迪克西·辛克莱裸照的人
Clearly someone who has naked pictures of Dixie Sinclair.
别看我
Don't look at me.
迪克西玩青少年转盘
Dixie's on Teen Roulette.
至少有30个不同的人
There's at least 30 different guys
有她的恶作剧照片
who have pictures of her shenanigans.
真恶心 这事不困扰你吗
Oh, gross. Doesn't that bother you?
-她是你女朋友 -不 她不是
- She's your girlfriend. - No, she's not.
她只是想看我的屌♥ 所以我跟她结束了
She was just using me for my dong. So I ended it.
什么 你们已经结束了
What? You guys are already over?
我只想带她出去吃顿晚餐
All I wanted to do was take her out to dinner,
但是她不想跟我在公共场合一起出现
but she didn't want to be seen with me in public.
她的损失 她是个白♥痴♥
Her loss. She's a moron.
你又聪明又可爱又帅气
You're smart and sweet and handsome.
真的吗
Really?
专心解决麻烦吧
Focus on the problem.
究竟是谁黑进我的手♥机♥又弄的像是我
Who the hell would hack my phone and make it look like I...?
不 不 不 不 不
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
魔力耶稣小姐选美委员会发的邮件
It's an email from the Miss Magic Jesus Pageant Board.
他们听说迪克西照片的事了
They heard about the Dixie photos.
他们要因为网络霸凌剔除我的资格
they're disqualifying me for cyber-bullying.
好吧 解开了一个谜团
Well, that's one mystery solved.
有人要陷害你
Somebody's trying to sabotage you.
迪克西·辛克莱
Dixie Sinclair.
不可能 她没聪明到能黑进你的手♥机♥
No way. She's not smart enough to hack your phone.
好吧 还有谁会
Okay, so who else would--?
我得去找鲍勃谈谈
I got to talk to Bob.
我应该去追她
I should go after her.
或者你可以留在这
Or you could just stay here.
为什么
Why?
你刚才说的是真心的吗
Did you mean what you said earlier?
关于我
That I'm...
又聪明又可爱又帅气
smart and sweet and handsome?
是的
Yeah.
为什么
Why?
每天早上 我像骑士一般穿上盔甲
Every morning, I put on my armor like a knight.
每天我都做好战斗准备
I readied myself for battle each day.
而当帕蒂赢得母女选美
And since Patty had won the mother-daughter pageant,
我感觉就像第一次屠龙一样
I felt like I had slain my first dragon.
现在 我准备好为了帕蒂
Now, I was ready to go on
踏上我寻找圣杯的征程
my very own grail quest for Patty
去赢得魔力耶稣小姐的皇冠
to win the Miss Magic Jesus crown
没什么能够阻止我前行
and nothing could get in my way.
"亲爱的鲍勃 这是帕蒂给我的
"Dear Bob. Patty gave me this.
我知道你不忠过
I know you cheated.
我需要时间和空间来思考
I need time and space to think.
我准备好谈一谈时会致电 科拉莉"
I'll call when I'm ready to talk. Coralee."
突然之间 又多了一条龙等着我屠♥杀♥
And suddenly, I had another dragon to slay.
帕蒂·布拉黛尔
Patty Bladell.
我们遗憾的通知您 您已被此用户屏蔽
We regret to inform you, you have been blocked by this user.
见鬼 见鬼 见鬼
Shit! Shit! Shit!
第一季第五集
玛格诺莉娅 等等我
Magnolia, wait up!
我还是无法相信你不想一起开车上学
I still can't believe you don't want to drive to school together.
多亏了帕蒂·布拉黛尔
I've seen plenty of you this morning,
我今天早上看你可看够了
thanks to Patty Bladell.
别批评我 帕蒂是网络霸凌者
Don't judge me! Patty's a cyber-bully.
而且你应该站在我这边的 以朋友身份
And you should be on my side, as my friend.
我们不是朋友
We are not friends.
就因为我爸把你妈送进监狱
Just because my dad let you move into our house
而内疚才让你住进我家
because he felt bad for putting your mom in jail.
好吧 不是朋友 是姐妹
Okay, fine. Not friends, sisters.
我们不是姐妹
We are not!
别再半夜爬我床上搂着我睡了
So stop climbing into my bed at night and spooning me.
感觉很怪
It's weird.
但我想我妈妈 而且我自己睡不着
But I miss my mama and I can't sleep alone.
那真可悲
That's pathetic.
你才可悲
You're pathetic.
至少我男朋友没跟什么老荡♥妇♥鬼混
At least my boyfriend's not sleeping with some old slut!
哪个老荡♥妇♥
Which old slut?
我妈妈
My mama.
怎么样 蠢货
So suck on that, mo-fo.
瑞吉娜·辛克莱
Regina Sinclair?
你真恶心
You're disgusting.
-你怎么 -你以为可以瞒过我吗
- How'd you--? - Did you think I wouldn't find out?
永远别跟我说话
Don't ever talk to me again.
玛格 玛格 玛格 对不起
Mag, Mag, Mag, I'm sorry.
哦 天啊
Oh, God!
鲍勃 我刚想打给你
Hey, Bob, I was just about to call you.
可以解释一下这个吗
Care to explain this?
我
I, uh--
科拉莉离开我全是因为你
Coralee left me and it's all 'cause of you.
你究竟是在想什么会把这个给科拉莉
Why on God's green earth would you give this to Coralee?
你是想伤害我吗
Were you trying to hurt me?
不 不 我是想伤害科拉莉
No. No, I was trying to hurt Coralee.
我们在母女选美的时候相处的很好
We really bonded in the mother-daughter pageant
然后她突然就把我踢开了
and then she just totally blew me off.
像我根本就不重要一样
Like I didn't matter at all.
她知道我妈妈就这么干过
It's exactly what my own mom does to me and she knew that.
科拉莉知道这些
Coralee knew that and
所以她更可恶一百万倍
that's what made it a million times worse.
我想她也像我一样伤心
I wanted her to feel as bad as I did,
但我没想过这会影响到你 对不起
but I didn't think about how it would affect you. I'm so sorry.
我在试着帮助你 而这是你回报我的方式
I was trying to help you and this is how you repay me.
这 这样不行
This --This is not working.
你是要和我分手吗
Are you breaking up with me?
不 我们不能分手 我们不是情侣
No, we cannot break up. We are not a couple!
-你还会继续指导我吗 -我 我不知道
- Are you still gonna coach me? - I don't -- I don't know.
我需要你
I need you.
我因为网络欺凌刚被魔力耶稣小姐取消资格
I just got disqualified from Miss Magic Jesus for cyber-bullying.
有人黑了我的手♥机♥ 而且
Somebody hacked my phone and..
你需要自己处理那个
You need to deal with that yourself.
我不行 我不知道没了你
I can't. I don't know how to do
怎么处理这些选美的事
any of this pageant stuff without you.
你和我 我们是一起参加的
You and I, we were in this together.
我们都需要赢得比赛
We both needed a win.
是 我只是 我需要先理清楚我自己的生活
Yeah, I just... I need to figure out my life first.
爸
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