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I bet I can get Donald Choi to give it to me.
他对我有意思
He's kinda got a thing for me.
这是不是意味着我不是杀人犯
Does it mean that I'm not a murderer
我能不能恢复正常生活了
and can go back to a normal life?
我可以成为美国小姐的
I could be Miss American Lady,
然后所有人都会嫉妒我
and everyone will be so jealous.
那很好
Okay, yeah, that's great.
拿到监控之后给我打电♥话♥
Listen, call me when you get the footage.
我要去医院看看那个流浪汉
I'm going to the hospital to check on homeless guy.
告诉我你为什么熨鲍勃·巴纳德的衣服
好消息
Good news.
我找到了一板塞在墙壁和床垫中间的火柴
I found a matchbook wedged between the wall and the mattress.
默里警官从上面提取到了部分指纹
Captain Murray was able to lift partial prints.
好吧 默里警官
Mm, yay, Captain Murray.
我打赌指纹是那个金发妞的
I'm betting it belongs to the blonde.
我先去查查数据库了
Off to run it through the database.
快点
唐纳德在哪
Uh, where's Donald?
他有急事 有什么我能帮忙的吗
He had urgent business. Something I can help you with?
是的 或许听起来有点奇怪
Yeah, this is gonna sound weird,
我需要证明昨晚我来过这里
but I have to prove that I was here last night.
你介不介意我们看一下监控录像呢
Would you mind if I looked at your security footage?
恐怕不行 这是一个营业场所
Yes, I mind. This is a place of business.
我可没时间陪你们玩这种愚蠢的游戏
I don't have time for your stupid games.
如果我们买♥♥点东西呢
What if I bought something?
那可以
Okay.
很奇怪
That's odd.
存着录像的储存器不见了
The thumb drive with the footage is missing.
只有一个人有可能偷这些录像
There was only one person who could've stolen that footage.
蔡那个黄♥片♥收集狂蔡偷了我的咪♥咪♥录像
That porn-hoarder Choi stole my aliboob.
我们得找到他 快没时间了
We have to find him. We're running out of time.
等等 这不是他的车吗
Wait, isn't that his car?
不 我什么都没看见没看见
Ah, unicorns and rainbows.
你们侵犯了我的隐私
That is an invasion of privacy.
你在公共停车场
You're jerking off in a public parking lot
对着录了我的后背的视频打飞机
to a video of my back.
-我没有 -那你在干什么呢
- I was not. - Then what were you doing?
对着记忆中你的正面打飞机
Jerking off to the memory of your front.
把监控录像给我们
Give us the security footage,
我们就不告诉别人
and we won't tell everyone you were
你在车里撸管
in your car, punching the clown.
12点5分 已经是着火后的10分钟了
Shit! 12:05, that's ten minutes after the fire started.
这也没法给我免罪了
It still doesn't exonerate me.
等等
Hold on.
如果我们能证明 就算全速奔跑
If we can prove that, running at full speed,
你也来不及在10分钟之内
it took you longer than ten minutes
从汽车旅馆赶来这里
to get here from the motel,
那么你就无罪了
you'll be off the hook.
我们得完全还原一下当时的情景
We have to replicate the exact conditions
要不结果是不可靠的
or the results won't be reliable.
我没明白
I'm confused.
我们得先把你灌醉
We're gonna get you drunk
然后记录你从汽车旅馆
and time how long it takes for you
跑到这里的时间
to run from the motel to here.
可以吗
Sound good?
过去的两天里 我喝醉的次数
I'd been drunk more in the past two days
比前半辈子喝醉的次数都多
than I had ever been in my life.
变瘦真的有那么神奇
Was skinny really magic
或者说它只是让我变成了个愤怒的酒鬼呢
or a gateway to becoming a raging alcoholic?
-开始吧 -好吧...
- Rock and roll. - Okay...
开始
Go!
天啊 拜托你走直线
Oh, my God. Just go straight.
那不是去酒水杂货的方向
That's not the way to Booze 'n Stuff.
-帕蒂 -帕蒂
- Patty? - Patty?
帕蒂
Patty!
帕蒂现在不能和你讲话 鲍勃
Patty can't talk right now, Bob.
你是谁
Who's this?
诺尼 她最好的朋友
Nonnie, her best friend.
从三岁开始就是了
Since we were three.
好吧 告诉她流浪汉醒了
Well, tell her homeless guy woke up.
他还是晕乎乎的 不过感觉快好了
He's still groggy, but he seems to be coming out of it.
在我们弄清楚他到底要说什么之前
Until we know exactly what he has to say,
她得离医院尽可能远点
she needs to stay as far away from the hospital as possible.
那估计比较困难
Um that's gonna be tough.
帕蒂得洗胃 所以...
Patty sort of had to get her stomach pumped, so...
天啊
Balls!
我们为什么每次都在你的车里做啊
Why do we always have to do it in your car?
我的脸被那样压在车窗上
Having my face smooshed up against the window like that
胶原蛋白都被破坏了
is breaking down my collagen.
那是老女人特有的东西吗
Is that like an old lady thing?
所有人都有
Everyone has it.
听着 我们得谈谈
Look, we need to talk.
我和玛格诺莉娅又在一起了
Me and Magnolia are getting back together.
所以呢 我们俩也是开放式的
So? I didn't think we were exclusive.
我的意思是 我们以后不能再这样做了
I mean, we can't keep doing this.
于是 什么
So, what?
-你特意等到做完才说... -是啊
- You waited to tell me until after-- - Yeah.
很明显 我又不傻
Obviously. I'm not stupid.
不 亲爱的 你傻 傻透了
Oh, honey, yes, you are.
送我回家 我不想错过《亚特兰大小妇人》
Take me home. I don't wanna miss Little Women of Atlanta.
你在哪里 你一小时之前就该和我见面了
你不知道一边开车一边发短♥信♥很危险吗
Don't you know that it's dangerous to text and drive?
你在干什么
What are you doin'?
我的上衣穿反了
My shirt's on inside out.
没必要让迪克西知道我又和你做了
Don't need Dixie knowin' I've been getting it on.
好吧 停 如果被人看见了 我就...
Okay, stop, 'cause if someone sees, then I'm...
那他们就走运咯
It's their lucky day.
我靠
Shit!
天啊 我不能在这里
Oh, God. I can't be here! Oh!
我可是全县第十大地♥产♥经纪人
I am the number ten realtor in this county!
我讨厌死这些破玩意了
I don't like this shit!
该死的泥巴
Damn clay!
讨厌的山谷
The fucking valley!
我很抱歉 我觉得这都是我的错
I'm so sorry. I feel like this is all my fault.
不不 这是我玩得最尽兴的一次了
No, no, this is the most fun I've ever had.
以前我们俩只待在家里
You and I just used to sit at home,
现在我们出来看世界了
and now we're out in the world.
我只求别进监狱 要不就什么都没了
I just hope I don't go to jail, and it all goes away.
不 别这样想
No, hey, hey, hey.
你好 帅哥
Hi, handsome.
天啊 姑娘们
Jesus, girls.
我就让你们看一下录像的时间
I asked you to get a time code.
听我一次会死吗
Would it kill you to just listen?
我看到唐纳德·蔡的鸡鸡了
I saw Donald Choi's peen.
是真的 太可怕了
It's true. It was horrible.
我之前从来没见过鸡鸡呢
I'd never seen a peen before.
好吧 先说更重要的事情
Okay, bigger fish to fry. Hmm?
我问过地检了
I checked in with the DA.
什么地检
The DA?
鲍勃·男优·巴纳德
Bob Bukkake Barnard.
不许那么叫他
Don't you ever call him that.
他就要来盘问那个流浪汉了
He is on his way down here to question the homeless guy.
我得先找到他让他别乱说话
I have to get to him first to try and do damage control.
你♥爸♥爸也在房♥间里
Your dad is in the room.
你能去转移他的注意力吗
You think you can distract him?
好吧 他是我爸 估计行吧
Yeah, he's my dad. I think I can manage it.
抱歉 你是不是对我有什么意见
Sorry. Do you have a problem with me?
帕蒂 你待在这
Patty, you stay here.
不能让流浪汉看到你
We cannot let the homeless guy see you.
-但是我想 -帕蒂 呆着
- But, I wanna-- - Patty, stay!
我问你点事
Let me ask you something.
帕蒂三岁时你们就认识
You've known Patty since she was three.
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