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long before you came along, honey.
这跟你来不来参赛没关系
This isn't about you.
我的事你都觉得没关系
It's never about me.
我生命中每一次需要你关心我
Every single time in my life when it should have been about me
注意我的时候你都只顾着你自己
getting attention, you've always made it about you.
你在我15岁生日派对上跟小丑上♥床♥
On my fifth birthday party, you had sex with the clown.
你在我初中毕业典礼上喝醉
You got drunk at my middle school graduation.
你在我踢足球的时候对我起哄
I tried to play soccer and you heckled me.
是的 你跑的像裤子里有屎一样
Yeah, I did. You run like you got shit in your pants.
现在你又出现了想抢我的风头
And now, you're showing up trying to steal my spotlight?
什么样的妈会这么对她的女儿
What kind of mother does that to her daughter?
算了吧
Hey, come on.
-帕特 -女士们
- Patt-- - Ladies.
我需要喝一杯
Well, I need a drink.
安吉 别
Angie, don't.
好吧
Fine.
我要去冥想
I'm gonna go meditate.
你去散个步之类的
You go for a walk or something.
我对我妈妈感到愤怒
I was furious at my mom.
我希望我有一条项链把她的生活毁了
I wish I had a necklace to blow up her life.
你必须摆脱这种感觉
You gotta shake it off.
我们需要你保持专注状态
We gotta keep you in the zone.
红色面包车的车主请您移一下车
Would the owner of a red minivan please move your car.
去散个步吧 理清一下头绪
Let's take a walk, clear your head.
你看到的是我看到的吗
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
-一堆婊♥子♥ -不是
- A bunch of bitches? - No.
搞破坏的灵感
Inspiration for sabotage.
你觉得我应该退出选美比赛吗
Do you think I should quit the pageant?
你为什么问我
Why are you asking me?
因为我们是朋友
Because we're friends.
等等 你觉得我们是朋友
Wait. You think we're friends?
是啊
I mean, yeah.
要不然我为啥把你称为朋友呢
Why else would I have called you?
确实
Yeah, sure.
我之前从来没有过女性朋友
I've never had a friend who's a girl before.
参加选美比赛的好处
Okay. Pros to doing the pageant.
我从来没机会做任何母女一起做的事
I've never gotten to do a mother-daughter anything.
我的妈妈在我三岁时去世了
My real mom died when I was three.
所以尽管帕蒂的妈妈特别糟糕
So, even though Patty's mom is an extreme mess,
她也是最像我妈妈的人了
she's also the closest thing I've ever had to a mom.
而且我真的很想唱歌♥
And I really want to sing.
或许这会帮助我明白为什么帕蒂热衷于这些事情
Maybe this'll help me understand why Patty's into all this stuff.
缺点呢
Okay. Cons?
帕蒂也许会恨我
Patty might hate me.
就没了吗 一个缺点
Oh, that's it? One con?
我觉得你应该去做
I think you should do it.
回去然后参加比赛
You know, go back in and do the pageant.
你一路跟着帕蒂去阿♥拉♥巴马保护她
You've literally just followed Patty to Alabama to protect her.
你已经为她做了很多事
You've done her plenty of solids.
也许到了为自己做些什么的时候了
Maybe it's time to do one for yourself.
我们衣服被画花了
We've been defaced.
什么
What?
-你不会认为是我妈妈干的吧 -不
- You don't think my mom would have--? - No.
这是一个会拼写恶魔妈妈
This is the work of an evil mother
和她不会拼写的傻子女儿的杰作
who can spell and her idiot daughter who can't.
瑞吉娜和迪克西
Regina and Dixie.
那个婊♥子♥
That bitch.
向我泼脏水还不够...
It's not enough to deflower my so--
注意力集中在赢上
Just focus on winning.
-好吧 -怎么赢
- Okay. - How?
没了这些行头
Without wardrobe...
帕蒂 把我的化妆盒拿过来
Patty, bring me my caboodle.
你在这干什么
Uh, what are you doing here?
仅仅因为我们在阿♥拉♥巴马热吻
Just because we sucked face in Alabama
不代表你能出现在这
does not mean that you can show up here
好像我男朋友一样 因为我们不可能
acting like my boyfriend, because no.
我不知道你在这 我在等诺尼
I didn't know you were here. I'm here for Nonnie.
很好 因为我们绝对不会在厕所做♥爱♥的
Good, because we are definitely not doing it in the bathroom.
这简直太俗套了
This is such a cliche.
我们是学校里唯一一对亚洲人
We're the only two Asians at school.
我不是亚洲人 我是被领养的
I am not Asian. I am adopted.
非常感谢大家
Thank you very much.
欢迎来到首届由上班族妈妈慈善团体赞助的
And welcome to the first
年度母女选美大赛
annual mother-daughter pageant sponsored by WMBS,
上班族妈妈慈善团体
Working Mothers Benevolent Society,
这次活动的全部盈利都将用来
where 100 percent of tonight's proceeds
帮助世界各地的工作女性照看儿童
go to childcare for working mothers everywhere.
接下来 请欢迎各位著名评委
And now, let's say hi to our illustrious judges.
那就开始吧
Now, let's get this show started.
*这是我人生的至高点*
*Now I've had the time of my life *
*我从未有过这样的感觉*
*No, I never felt like this before *
*我发誓这是真的*
*Yes, I swear, it's the truth *
*而这都归功于你*
*And I owe it all to you *
*这是我人生的至高点*
*'Cause I've had the time of my life *
*而这都归功于你*
*And I owe it all to you *
准备好看表演了吗 开始吧
Are you ready for a show? Here we go.
嗨起来
Come on.
撕拉式燕尾服
The tear-away tux.
男士比基尼
The mankini.
他早就计划抢走观众的目光焦点
He planned to steal the spotlight all along.
我不能信任他
I couldn't trust him.
这个跳淫舞的混♥蛋♥
That dirty effin' dancer.
好了 好了
Okay. Okay.
行了
No.
够了 够了
No. No.
不如我们来看看穿着衣服的人吧
How about we see some people with their clothes on?
接下来各位母女选美参赛者
Let's welcome our mother-daughter teams
会进行有趣的时装秀
in their fun fashion wear.
你骗了我
You tricked me.
别生气 我帮你对付了瑞吉娜
You can't be mad. I helped you with the Regina thing.
算扯平了
Even Steven.
首先有请第一对母女组合
And now, here comes our first mother-daughter pair.
诺尼·汤普森和安吉·布拉黛尔
Nonnie Thompson and Angie Bladell.
瑞吉娜和迪克西·辛克莱
Regina and Dixie Sinclair.
没什么创意不过走得还算整齐吧
Uninspired but walking in unison, I guess.
接下来是我个人最喜欢的
And my personal favorites,
帕蒂·布拉黛尔和科拉莉·阿姆斯特朗
Patty Bladell and Coralee Armstrong.
她们有自己的主题
Oh, making a statement.
没错
Yes.
表现着女性群体
Taking back the slurs that
每天所受到的侮辱言辞 令人惊讶
women are bombarded with every day is shocking...
却也充满力量
and empowering.
干得漂亮 两位女士
Way to go, ladies.
接下来是杰茜卡和阿什利·约翰逊
Next up, we have Jessica and Ashley Johnson.
玛格诺莉娅和埃特·梅退出之后
Since Magnolia and Etta Mae dropped out,
瑞吉娜和迪克西就是我们的主要竞争对手
Regina and Dixie were our main competition.
帕蒂和科拉莉得把才艺表演做到极致才能赢
Patty and Coralee would need to ace the talent portion to win.
他摸了我的下面
He touched me all down in my hoo.
但我说了"不行就是不行"
But I said, "No means no."
赢了赢了赢了
Winner, winner, winner.
姐姐我赢定了
This one is in the bag.
天哪 你喝醉了
Oh, my God. You're drunk.
下一个就是我们 我自己上去会失去比赛资格
We're on next. I can't go on without you. I'll be disqualified.
你也讨厌我了吧 帕蒂就讨厌我
So now you hate me? Patty hates me.
-好了 -我们走吧
- Come on. - Let's just go.
-等我 -别激动 我来...
- Just get-- - Come on. Come on. Let-- Come--
我去给你找点咖啡 好吗安吉
Let's just get you some coffee, yeah? Angie?
安吉
Ang-- -
安吉
Angie?
就这样吗
So that's it?
我唱不了了
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