奔腾年代（2014）

Halt and Catch Fire S04E02

Part 4 Nov. 11, 2020, 1:48 p.m.

down which you are drawn while the white faces above recede.
你被拽到洞里而上面的白色面孔渐渐隐去
You try to reach for them,
你竭尽全力要够到他们
but your arms are pinned.
可你的两条胳膊却像被钉住了一样动弹不得
Shovels pour dirt into your face.
一铲铲的土撒到你脸上
There you will be forever, in an upright position,
就这样你将永远竖直地待在那里
blind and silent,
眼不能见耳不能闻
and in time no one will remember you,
谁都不会记得你
and you will never be called.
谁也不会来看你
As strata of rock shift, your fingers elongate,
随着岩层的移位你的手指会拉长
your teeth are distended sideways
你的牙齿会斜刺里爆出
in a great underground grimace
把你的脸在地下扭成个大鬼脸
indistinguishable from a strip of chalk.
跟一截粉笔没什么区别
And the earth tumbles on, and the sun expires,
大地继续翻滚太阳慢慢断气
and unaltering darkness reigns
永远的黑暗将统治
where once there were stars.
曾是星斗满天的苍穹
Jesus...
我的天
But that's not the end of the story.
但是这还不是故事的结局
This kid... his grandmother tells him
这个孩子的外婆让他
to go shoot all the pigeons in the barn.
去把谷仓里的鸽子都打死
And it makes him think about death,
这让他开始思考死亡
and he has this crisis of faith.
而他的信仰也出现了危机
And nobody reassures him.
没人能让他安心
He is...surrounded by this non-belief.
他被这种不可信感包围了
It's like a conspiracy, and he's just wising up to it.
就好像是一个阴谋刚刚被他识破了
But he still has to shoot all these pigeons.
但他还是把鸽子都打死了
And he does, he just shoots the hell out of them.
一只不剩地全都消灭干净了
And he picks up a dead pigeon, and he stares at it.
然后他捡起一只死鸽子开始端详它
And it's actually gorgeous.
真的是太美了
And he decides right then and there
就在这一刻他想明白了
that no God who would give so much beauty
一个把这么多的美丽倾注在一个
to such a worthless creature
如此无用的生物身上的上帝
would fail to let him live forever.
是不会不让他获得永生的
Like his faith is restored.
仿佛他的信仰恢复了
Is that what you believe?
你也信这个吗
I just... I don't know.
我也不知道
I guess I...
我想我是...
I hope there's something more.
我希望还有更多
"Huh" what?
怎么了
Just weird. I never thought about you
只是觉得奇怪从没想到你
as the kind of guy who needed "more."
会是那种需要"更多"的人
All right.
好吧
What do you believe?
那你信仰什么
Um, well...
这个嘛
I saw this shrine in Japan.
我在日本见过这么一座庙
And, uh, the locals tear it down,
当地人会把它拆毁
right to the foundation, every 20 years.
连地基都不剩每20年一次
And then they build it right back up again,
然后他们会重新盖一座
back to its original state.
盖得和原来一模一样
And they've been doing this for 1,300 years.
他们已经这么做了1300年了
Nothing in it's original anymore,
所有的部件都不是原先的
but it still looks identical to the day it went up.
但还是和当初第一天盖起来时完全一样
That's beautiful.
听着真美
Well, no.
并不是
I mean, I don't think these people are doing it
我倒不觉得这些人这么做
for some spiritual reason.
是为了什么精神
I think they're doing it
我觉得他们这么做
because they're holding onto the process of it, you know?
只是因为他们放不下这个程序
The doing of it, that that's all that matters.
这种做法本身就是其意义所在
That's what I think.
我是这么认为的
I don't know.
我也不知道
I've been trying to find some solace in that lately.
我最近想从这里找到一些慰藉
How's that working out for you?
结果怎么样
Not that great, Joe,
不怎么样乔
but thanks for asking.
但是多谢关心
I'm sorry.
我道歉
That was... That was unfair.
这样问不太好
Yeah, it was.
是啊不太好
Look, I'm forty-five.
我已经45岁了
I've got no family. I work in a basement.
没有成家在地下室工作
People aren't exactly lining up for my spiritual guidance.
一般没什么人找我寻求精神指导
Is that what this is about?
就是因为这个吗
What?
因为什么
Well, you said you didn't have a family.
你说你还没成家
You don't want one, do you?
你并不想结婚的吧
My dad died last spring.
我父亲去年春天去世了
Oh, God, Joe.
天啊乔
I'm sorry.
我很遗憾
Yeah.
是啊
And you know what this is like, but...
你知道这类事是什么样子只不过
You just start to think about everything.
你会开始思考一切
And when I was... when I was fifteen,
当我 15岁的时候
I made this vow that I would never have kids.
我发誓我绝对不要孩子
All because of him.
都是因为他
He was just...huge
他是那么的高大
and...imposing.
而且很强势
You know you're huge and imposing, right?
你知道你也高大强势吧
He made me feel small.
他让我觉得自己很渺小
Like I was...
就好像我
less than nothing.
什么都不是
And I never wanted to risk doing that to a child.
而我绝对不想让我的孩子也有这种感受
And then he died.
然后他死了
And... And I'm, like, there at his funeral.
我去了他的葬礼
And there's hardly anyone else there.
几乎没什么宾客去吊唁
And he felt like the small one all of a sudden.
而突然间他反而渺小了
And that made you want to have a family?
因此你又想成家了
It made me realize that we are different people...
这让我意识到我们不是一类人
and, um...
而且
maybe I would have been better.
也许我本来能做得更好
You ever think about kids?
你想过要孩子吗
Yeah.
想过
I just, um, sprung it on Tom one day.
有一天我突然对汤姆提起来了
Didn't even really think about it.
甚至都没怎么多想
Just "Let's start a family."
就一句"我们要孩子吧"
Such a stupid thing to say to someone
这句话真是太蠢了
if you're not ready for them to take it seriously.
尤其如果你没打算让对方当真
And he did.
他却当真了
Oh, I mean, he lit up.
他简直乐死了
I've never seen someone so happy.
我从没见过人能开心成那样
And so we, uh, started trying.
于是我们就开始尝试
And it didn't work.
结果没成功
And I was relieved.
我则觉得松了口气
I was relieved that Mother Nature made a decision for me
我松了口气是因为大自然替我做了
that I was too spineless to make for myself.
我自己没胆量去做的选择
And I realized I was just going through with it
我意识到我只是想尽快完事
because I didn't want to disappoint him again.
因为我不想再让他失望了
Sorry. I shouldn't...have said that.
抱歉我不该这么说
You know,
知道吗
it is so good to actually talk to you.
能跟你认真聊聊太好了
Yeah.
是啊
You too.
我也这么想
I think it's gonna take a while
看来我得花些时间
for me to get used to that.
才能适应了
I mean, come on. "Aggek"? What is that?
拜托 "阿盖克"是什么鬼
It sounds like a painful hiccup.
听起来像打嗝打疼了
It does kind of remind me of pond scum.
让我联想起那种绿藻
Oh, God, Trip makes my blood boil,
天啊崔普简直要把我气死了
even just his name.
他那名字听着就气人
"Trip Kisker."
"崔普·基斯克"
Elias does like him, though.
伊莱亚斯倒是挺喜欢他的
He's a star.
他是个明星