同妻俱乐部（2015）

Grace and Frankie S05E13

Part 3 Sept. 16, 2020, 12:13 p.m.

我都不敢问
I'm afraid to ask.
我们要搬去新家
We're moving into a new house,
但弗兰琦还不知道
but Frankie doesn't know
罗伯特在慢慢搬走东西
and Robert's been slowly moving things out.
你俩真是难以置信你们还在骗她
You two are unbelievable. You are still lying to her!
这是唯一的谎言
This is the only lie.
真举♥行♥烤猪宴了吗
Was there a luau?
两个谎言
Two lies.
还是别戴了
Better leave it off.
我是玛洛丽你是
I'm Mallory, and you are?
巴里会计
I'm Barry. I'm the accountant.
会计巴里人都哪去了
Hi, Barry the accountant. Where's everyone else?
我邀请了整个办公室的人她马上要来了
I invited the whole office and she's gonna be here any minute.
或许电子邀请被当做垃圾电邮了
Maybe the e-vite went to their spam folders.
好吧但你显然收到了电邮
Okay, but you clearly got the e-mail, so...
-我的垃圾邮件过滤器很松 -好吧
- I have very loose spam filters. - Okay.
惊喜
Surprise!
你惊喜吗
Are you surprised?
是啊我们能出去说句话吗
Yeah, can I talk to you outside for a second?
你为什么说得好像要杀了我似的
Why are you saying that like you're going to murder me?
我以为只是我们俩嗑嗨呢
I thought this was just supposed to be you and me getting high!
那只是骗你的白♥痴♥
That was just a trick, idiot!
你至少也可以叫我穿胸罩来啊
You could have at least told me to wear a bra!
为什么我们现在都没穿了
Why? Now we're twinsies.
布丽安娜会不会想接收妈妈
Is there a chance Brianna would wanna take Mom?
嗯她心情很好我们问她吧
Yeah, she's in a great mood. Let's ask her.
爸爸向你提这事很不公平你刚出戒毒所
It's unfair that Dad asked you, since you're just out of rehab.
妈妈喜欢雷击顿音乐半夜吃玉米片
And Mom's penchant for reggaeton and late-night nachos
这对于拉比教义学习又没好处
aren't exactly conducive to rabbinical study.
那就是你了
So, I guess it's you.
我复吸
Me relapsing again versus
对你买♥♥消噪耳机
you buying some noise-canceling headphones?
好吧我们俩都不是很适合照顾她
Okay, neither one of us is in an ideal place to take care of her.
我比你更不适合但我同意
Me less so than you, but totally agree.
那谁去告诉爸爸
So... who's gonna tell Dad?
是啊
Exactly.
-玛洛丽 -天呐你吓到我了
- Hi, Mallory! - God, you scared me.
是吗这还吓人
Really, that was scary?
因为我们妈妈来了还挂着卡莉·西蒙的嘴
Because our mother is here wearing Carly Simon's mouth.
今天是你的40岁生日
It's your 40th birthday.
我不能不请妈妈来
I couldn't not invite Mom.
但你叫我的会计来了
But you brought my accountant?
我的乳♥房♥♥X光摄像师和商店试鞋的店员
What, were my mammographer and the shoe guy at Saks
吐槽我臭脚的那人没空吗
who said I had toaster feet unavailable?
其实我请了你整个办公室的人
Actually, I invited your whole office.
天呐玛洛丽
Jesus, Mallory!
谁希望那些蠢蛋和性绝缘人来我派对啊
Who would want any of those duds and sexual lepers at my party?
而且那些蠢蛋和性绝缘人怎么没来我的派对
And why aren't those duds and sexual lepers at my party?
我被告知跟垃圾邮件过滤器有关
I'm told it has something to do with spam filters, so--
布丽安娜问个问题
Hey, Brianna, quick question.
对了生日快乐
Happy birthday, by the way. Um...
你想跟我妈住吗
Do you want to live with my mom?
-五四三 -嗯懂了
- Five, four, three-- - Yep, totally understand.
-我们不吃家禽吧 -怎么那样太尴尬吗
- We're not having poultry, are we? - Why, would that be awkward?
就因为它们在盯着我们
Just because they're staring at us
我们能听到它们咯咯叫的声音
and we can hear them clucking?
今天不吃鸡
No chicken tonight.
作为派对策划人的素养
As a party planner must,
我猜到人们可能对于
I anticipated the discomfort one might feel
吃派对客人会感到不安
from eating something that is also a guest at the party.
你的金鱼客人死透透了
Well, your goldfish guests are extra dead.
不
No!
不我今天才买♥♥的
No, I just got these today!
它们去了更好的地方不是这个派对
They've gone to a better place, not this party.
别担心
No worries. No worries.
我会拿出
I'm just gonna bring out
我计划好的很棒的东西
the spectacular thing that I had planned.
我本想先建立点期待的但直接跳过前戏
I was going to build to it, but let's just skip the foreplay,
开始高♥潮♥ 让大家都上路吧
move right to the orgasm, and send everyone on their way!
这是这场派对上第一个能体现我为人的事了
That's the first thing about this party that reflects who I am.
好啊
Good.
餐巾环不见踪影
No sign of the napkin holders,
但至少我记起来烤猪宴的事了
but at least now I remember the luau.
天呐
Oh, God.
你在喝什么呢
What in God's name are you drinking?
是布丽兰地
Ah, it's a Brianndy.
就是"布丽安娜"加"白兰地"
It's "Brianna" and "Brandy."
你姐姐说那是你的标志
Your sister said it was your signature,
生日鸡尾酒
uh, birthday cocktail, so...
此时此刻我的标志鸡尾酒
At this point my signature cocktail
应该是约翰·贝鲁西在夏蒙特酒店注射致死的毒品
should be whatever John Belushi shot up at The Chateau Marmont.
罗伯特喜欢玉米
Robert likes corn...
小偷
Hey, sticky mitts,
你怎么随便拿走人的玉米叉
you don't just take someone's corn-cob holders.
这里住了一家人而且他们就要吃玉米了
A family lives here and we're about to eat corn.
好啊给你了我拿走茶壶
Fine. You keep it. I'll take the samovar.
茶壶我要留着
No. I'm keeping the samovar,
你可以拿走玉米叉
and you can have the damn corn holders.
反正索尔也替我切玉米
Sol cuts my corn for me anyway.
我能问你件事吗
Can I ask you something?
我需要你诚实回答可以吗
I need you to be honest. Can you do that for me?
很不幸可以
Unfortunately.
为什么你是唯一来的同事
Why are you the only one here from work?
他们都恨我吗
Do they all hate me or something?
我觉得不算是"恨"
I wouldn't say "hate".
-喜欢呢 -你让我好为难
- Like? - You're putting me in a real spot here.
我是个有趣的老板
I am a fun boss.
我还总跟大家扯淡
And I'm always shootin' the shit with the gang.
或许大家
Maybe the gang...
没来派对是出于对你意愿的尊重
didn't come to your party out of respect for your wishes.
是你说你不想庆祝生日的
You did tell us you didn't want to celebrate your birthday.
如果你要生气也该气我来了
Wanna be mad at someone, be mad at me for showing up.
我也没对你很高兴
Well, I'm not thrilled with you.
如果我真那么恐怖你又为什么来
And if I'm such a monster, why are you here?
我就是一直觉得
I guess I just always
你是个风趣聪明的人
thought you were a funny, smart person who...
不怎么会放下心防
didn't let her guard down very often.
而且没人生日应该自己过哪怕是恐怖的人
And no one should be alone on their birthday, even monsters.
而且青少年并不因为
And... teenage boys who aren't weird just because
痴迷于林肯遇刺而显得奇怪因为那事
they're fascinated by the Lincoln Assassination because...
真的很令人着迷
it's fascinating.
知道吗你其实人还挺不错
You know something? You're actually a pretty good guy.
我很高兴你终于意识到了
I'm glad you finally noticed.
-你在干什么 -我在给前男友发短♥信♥
- What are you doing? - I'm texting my ex.
就像你说的没人应该自己过生日
Like you said, no one should be alone on their birthday.
弗兰琦不是
You know, Frankie isn't the
唯一手有毛病的人
only one that's having a problem with her hand.
我的手
This hand gets so tired
因为戴着杰克送我的超大订婚戒指而好累啊
lugging around this gigantic engagement ring that Jack gave me.
嗯你给我的东西我都在
Yes, I sold everything you gave me
"我愿意我不愿意了"网上卖♥♥了
on "I-Do-Now-I-Don't-dot-com."
大家都在那里卖♥♥掉
It's where everyone gets rid
他们在一段如今只惹他们生气的婚姻中
of all the jewelry they got during their marriage
得到的东西
that now fills them with rage.
你对我说"杰克柚木早过时了
You know, you say to me, "Jack, teak is 2002,
铝太热柳条是编篮子的"
aluminum is too hot, and wicker is for baskets."
我刚坐下
I just sat down.
我对你说两个词
And I say to you two words:
室内室外
indoor, outdoor.
你觉得那些金鱼
Do you think the goldfish