同妻俱乐部（2015）

Grace and Frankie S05E08

Part 3 Sept. 16, 2020, 12:12 p.m.

是天大的事
It's a big deal.
艾琳是我认识最久的朋友
Erin is my oldest friend.
我以为你老妈才是你认识最久的朋友
Thought your mom was your oldest friend.
澄清一下我爸是我认识最久的朋友
For your information, my dad is my oldest friend,
我妈是我的第一个女朋友
my mom is my first girlfriend.
老天谁不想要你的基因呢
Boy, who wouldn't want your genetic material?
拜托我长得高也很聪明
Oh, come on. I'm tall. I'm smart.
严格说起来我有两个女朋友
And technically, I have two girlfriends.
好吧那等这小孩长大
Okay, what happens when
问他的父亲是谁的时候怎么办
this kid grows up and asks who their father is?
你也听到艾琳说了
You heard Erin.
我是巴里叔叔
I'm Uncle Barry.
我想承担多少责任都可以
I'm only as involved as I want to be.
你一定会全程负责的
You're always involved.
你连别人社区的邻里守望互助都要参加
You're on the neighborhood watch for places you don't live.
你对路边那些做社会调查的人都很耐心
You always have time for anyone with a clipboard.
他们很卖♥♥力啊
They work so hard.
如果是女孩你会教她怎么投球
You'll teach this girl how to play catch
是男孩你会给他买♥♥第一条裙子
or buy this little boy his first dress.
他长大了之后怎么办
What about when he grows up?
这根本就是过分的要求
This is a fuck-ton to ask of someone.
我知道这对你来说也是过分的要求
I know it's a fuck-ton to ask of you.
那就不要同意
So don't do it.
听我说我们决定在一起的时候
Look, when we got together for real,
我放下了有孩子的希望
I took the idea of having kids,
完全扔到一个犄角旮旯里
tucked it away on a shelf in the garage.
我可以接受这样因为我想跟你在一起
And I'm okay with that because I want to be with you.
你不知道我有多感激你为我这样做
You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing that for me.
但是现在我有了一个机会
But now I have this chance to,
在某种程度上
in some small way,
成为父亲
be a dad.
这可能是我唯一的机会了
And it might be my only shot.
这地方被净化过了吗
Has the space been cleansed?
精神上是的
Spiritually, yes,
但是那块像欧内斯特·博格宁的酒渍
but the wine stain that looks like Ernest Borgnine
怕是一辈子都洗不掉了
is there for life, I'm afraid.
我把圣器拿来了
I have the sacred vessel.
-你洗掉里面的辣椒了吗 -是的
- Did you wash the chili out of it? - Yes.
你把碗都洗了吗
Did you by chance do all the dishes?
他们还没看到我们快点我们快出去
They haven't seen us. Quick, let's jump out the window.
别这样你可以的
Come on. You can do this.
你们在忙什么呢
Well, what's going on here?
你们要搞芝士火锅排队吗
You having a fondue party?
格蕾丝你无知得像你的水晶花瓶一样
Oh, Grace. What you don't know could fill your crystal vase,
不过我今天不小心打碎了对不起
which I broke earlier today and I'm sorry.
没关系肯定预示我又有哪个祖母要死了吧
That's okay, I'm sure another one of my grandmothers will die.
总之
Anyway...
我们希望你们今晚可以跟我们一起吃饭
We were hoping the two of you would join us for dinner tonight.
海岸有一家很棒的素食餐厅
You know, at that very nice vegan place on the shore.
美食达吗非常好吃
Postmates? It's delicious.
不好意思是叫布兰奇
Unfortunately, it's called Branch.
不好意思是叫巴克[狗吠] 我听说莫比也在那边吃饭
Unfortunately, it's called Bark. I heard Moby eats there.
是的我知道
Oh, yes, I know.
我在"狗吠"点评网上看过他很模糊的照片
I've seen the blurry pictures of him on Yelp.
-怎么样 -我们去不了
- So? - We can't.
我们要举♥行♥一个可可仪式
We're having a cacao ceremony.
我们明白该走了
That's our cue.
该说听起来很有意思所以...
To say that sounds like fun and...
我们也想加入
Maybe we could join you.
探索灵魂的旅程吗
For a journey into your soul?
老天你是有多想获得我的好感
Man, you must really want to get back on my good side.
可可女神欢迎所有探索者
Lady Cacao does welcome all searchers.
那就这么定了太好了
Then it's a date. Super!
我们要做什么呢把手收进去还是怎么
So what do we do? Stick our hands in it or what?
你的灵魂之手
Your mind hands.
我♥操♥
Oh, fuck.
这是仪式级别的可可
This is ceremonial-grade cacao:
生的苦涩
raw, bitter,
由布拉德萨满祈福获得古代玛雅传统的庇佑
and blessed in the ancient Mayan tradition by Shaman Brad.
所以就是巧克力
So, it's chocolate.
太好了我超爱
Great, I'm a fiend.
我囤了很多歌♥蒂娃巧克力棒恨不得随手一个
I stash Godiva bars on all my help, just to have it on hand.
如果你们唠叨完了可可女神希望你们集中注意力
If you both are done, Lady Cacao would like your attention.
在开始喝之前我们必须定下一个人生愿望
Before we drink, we must each set an intention for our lives.
一个什么
A what?
写下你想要的东西然后放到碗里
Just write down something you want and stick it in the bowl.
希望我没搞错比例
Hope I got this ratio right.
我上次做这个是给400个人准备的
The last time I did this, it was for 400 people.
-那些人都还活着吗 -大部分都还活着
- Are any of those people still alive? - A good amount.
敬可可女神
To Lady Cacao.
稍等这里有什么东西会干扰我的降脂药吗
Wait. Anything in here will interfere with my statins?
这里面没有毒品也不会影响精神行为
This is drug free and non-psychoactive.
真的绝对没问题
Yep, totally cool.
各位我刚在派对大巴上捡到了一粒毒品
Y'all, I just found this molly on the floor of the party bus!
我打算服下了
I'm gonna take it!
-天呐 -罗伯特你来了
- My God. -Robert, you made it!
是啊我早该知道入口会在
Yes, I should have known the entrance
这种巷子里门口也没个标志
would be an unmarked door in an alley.
一个跳霹雳舞的小鲜肉踢到了我的头
A break-dancing twink kicked me in the head.
实在太棒了
It was incredible.
听起来不错
It sounds great.
刚有人吐在桌子上了
Someone threw up on a table,
等他们清理完我们就坐下
but as soon as they clean it off, it's ours.
我马上进去我先去弄点"肚品"吃吃
I'll be right in. I'm just going to take some "Polly."
好吧
Okay.
老爷爷需要我带你去老年桌吗
Hey, Daddy, can I direct you to the grown-ups' table?
不别被骗了
Oh, no, don't be fooled!
正在营业
Bar's open.
新客人买♥♥第一杯酒就送一个芝士汉堡
Newcomers get a free cheeseburger with their first drink.
可以给我来杯威士忌加冰吗
Can I have a scotch on the rocks, please?
他们当了12年的室友
You know, they were roommates for 12 years.
「坚定的独身主义者」
"Confirmed bachelors."
我知道加里·格兰特
I understand Cary Grant
跟几个单身帅哥都定过情
confirmed things with a few handsome bachelors.
有些情就是在这里定下的
Some of those confirmations began right here.
是吗
Really?
天呐
Well, I'll be.
你听过费尔南多·拉马斯吗
Have you by any chance ever heard of Fernando Lamas?
当然
Oh, sure.
我好嫉妒他和拉娜·特纳的婚外情
I was so jealous of his affair with Lana Turner
我在《好莱坞传奇》的日历上给她画了胡子
that I gave her a mustache in my Legends of Hollywood calendar.
我妈把我的复印件拿走了
My mother took my copy away.
没用的妈我在和一个穿皮衣的人聊天呢
Didn't work, Ma. I'm talking to a man in leather.
我爸在吗他不接电♥话♥
Is my dad here? He's not answering his phone,
我需要有人告诉我自私没关系
and I need someone to tell me it's okay to be selfish.
他应该在夜店呢
I'm afraid he's at a club.
不好意思我问的是我爸在哪
Sorry, I asked where my dad is.
他和剧团的人出去了他们去看凯莎了
An outing with his theater group. They're seeing Ke$ha!
好吧
Okay.
-再见索尔 -不不你怎么了
- Bye, Sol. - No, no, what's going on?
只是
Just--
巴里的朋友问他要精♥子♥
You know, Barry's friend asked for his sperm
我要自杀了
and I'm gonna go kill myself.
老故事又发生了啊
Oh, that old chestnut.
是啊所以...
Yeah, so...
-算了 -想看看我的新狗吗
- Anyway... - Want to see my new dog?
不用了谢谢
No, thank you.
-想喝你♥爸♥的威士忌吗 -好啊
- Want to break into your dad's scotch? - Yes.
我也看看那只狗
I'll take a peek at that dog, too.
谢谢你和我一起参加五行舞的探索之旅
Thank you for going with me on that Five Elements Dance journey.