同妻俱乐部（2015）

Grace and Frankie S05E06

Part 1 Sept. 16, 2020, 12:12 p.m.

弗兰琦你消停点
Oh, Frankie, stop it.
怎么了
What?
你听起来跟在我们家门口♥交♥配的海豹一样
You sound like the seals who had sex in front of our house.
你是说我错过围观的那场活春宫吗
You mean the seal sex I missed?
多谢你再让我不爽一次
Thanks for rubbing it in.
明明是我把春♥药♥喂给它们的
I'm the one who put the aphrodisiacs out for them.
如果你没有忙着郁闷发愁...
Maybe if you weren't so busy moping...
我要愁的事有很多
I have a lot to mope about.
谁能想到这"滚蛋吧"的生活会如此艰难
Who knew that the "fuck it" life was gonna be so hard?
所以我们要一起来趟闺蜜之旅啊
Well, that's why we're taking a girls' trip together.
你会见到老朋友我可能不太喜欢
You're gonna see your old friend. I'll probably hate.
不会的你会喜欢丽塔的
Oh, no, you'll love Rita.
我和索尔1971年就认识她了
Sol and I met her in 1971,
抗♥议♥白色城♥堡♥的开业
protesting the opening of a White Castle.
当然最后我们发现那只是一家餐厅
Of course, later we found out it was a restaurant.
完全不敢相信你一直没提你有个朋友
Can't believe you've been sitting on the fact
开了家疗养院这件事
that your friend runs a spa.
这是她干过的最无趣的一件事了
That's the least interesting thing about her.
她可以把三个网球放进嘴里
She can put three tennis balls in her mouth!
只求那里的手♥机♥信♥号♥♥能强一点
Well, I hope there's a better signal when we get there.
尼克还没回你消息吗
Nick still hasn't texted you back?
你不是说在餐厅的时候一切进展顺利吗
I thought you said things went great at the restaurant.
我是那么以为的啊
Well, I thought so too.
但我给他发短♥信♥说
But I texted him,
"希望在日本一切顺利么么哒"
"Hope Japan's going well, XO,"
然后20个小时过去了没有任何回复
and 20 hours later, nothing.
才20个小时啊
Oh, 20 hours?
淡定点大姐
Chill, gazpacho.
他会回你消息的他在日本呢
He'll text. He's in Japan.
他大概在忙工作
He's probably busy working
然后吃点猫咪形状的蛋糕
and eating a little cake shaped like a cat.
好吧或许你说得对
Yeah, you're probably right.
我只是在犯傻而已
I'm just being silly.
而且我也是很忙的啊
And it's not like I'm not busy.
我正在去享受周末狂欢的路上
I'm on my way to a weekend of pampering.
你只是在路上不保证有狂欢和享受
You're on your way to where we're going!
至少会有面部护理和热石按♥摩♥吧
I can get a facial and a hot stone massage there, right?
石头倒是会有
There will be rocks there.
闺蜜之旅
Girls' trip!
敬老妈希望她在外面旅行久点再久一点
To Mom, may she take many, many, many more vacation days.
或者又被困在哪个泳池别♥墅♥的小房♥间里
Or get trapped again in that little room in the pool house.
天呐是她她听到我们说的了
Oh, my God, it's her. She heard us.
不是的只是我在用的一个约会软件而已
Oh, no, it's just this dating app I'm on.
瞧瞧你都在用约会软件了
Look at you, on the dating apps!
是不是收到了无数的屌♥照
Are you fielding a ton of dong pics?
就像"屌♥照屌♥照" 一个接一个
Is it just like "dong, dong, dong, dong, dong"?
不我是联盟的一员所以只能接受高端屌♥
No. I'm on The League. So, classy dongs.
比如有学历和体面工作的男人
Dongs with degrees and fancy jobs.
-他很帅嘛 -不不不
- He's cute. - Oh, no, no, no.
我就看看而已还没准备好真正出去约会
Just browsing. Not ready for an actual date.
我在电台广播听到过一个女人的故事
I heard this NPR story about a woman
那个女人一直等到自己准备好了
who waited until she was ready
然后就绝经了阴♥道♥干涸了
and her vagina closed up like an old eyebrow piercing.
你才不听电台广播呢
You don't listen to NPR.
那也是因为他们没有这么精彩的故事
That's because they don't have stories like that.
初次约会只不过是为了忘掉伤心旧事
You know, this first date is just about clearing the cobwebs.
我上一场初次约会的结局
My last first date ended in
是带着四个孩子离异所以...
a divorce with four kids, so...
玛洛丽你很幸运了
Mallory, you are very lucky.
你直接跳过了痴迷女性肛♥交♥的时代
You've skipped right over the times of lady butt-stuff,
直接来到了痴迷男性肛♥交♥的时代
and landed smack in the times of dude butt-stuff.
你该千恩万谢才对
Thank your lucky fucking stars.
我连一个开合跳都完成不了
I can barely do a jumping jack.
这么帅的男人为什么会看上一个离异的
Why would a cute guy like that be into a divorced,
看着光鲜但生了半个棒球队的实习生
glorified intern who birthed half a baseball team?
我们又不会把这些事说出来
Well, we are not going to mention them.
大概永远不会
Maybe ever.
我们会说 "你明天有什么安排吗"
We are going to say, "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"
明天
Tomorrow?
谁能来照看我的孩子们
Who's going to watch my baseball team?
我不可能那么快找得到保姆不可能
No way I get a sitter that fast. No.
玛洛这事很重要
Mal, this is very important-
所以我就慷慨大方一回
so I'll do something incredibly generous:
让巴里来照看他们
make Barry babysit them.
你能让巴里替我去约会吗
Could you make Barry go on the date for me?
我是可以让巴里做任何事
I mean, I can make Barry do anything,
但我有个更好的主意
but I have a better idea.
这会对你的约会有帮助
This will help you on your date.
天呐小布
Jesus, B.
怎么了弗兰琦和我去的同一家药房♥
What? Frankie and I have the same dispensary.
我跟他们说我要和格蕾丝一起共事
When I told them I was working with Grace,
他们就给了我「哈里森·福特的杂物箱必备货」
they gave me the "Harrison Ford's Glove Compartment".
多谢了但我非常肯定他不会喜欢我的
Thank you, but I'm paranoid enough that he won't like me.
玛洛谁在乎他怎么想啊
Mal, who cares what he thinks?
重点在于给你接下来的四个孩子找个生父
It's about finding the father of your next four children.
那我就先收下约会完了再用
Maybe I'll just take this for after the date.
没关系我还有呢
I mean, that's cool. I have more.
冥想区
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
你们好
Hello!
欢迎来到桑巴达
Welcome to Sambadha!
我是伊拉兹马斯
I'm Erasmus.
现在洗浴设备都在室内了你们一定会很喜欢的
I think you'll find our new plumbing alluringly "indoors."
在入住期间请拿一套长袍穿上
Please take a caftan to wear during your stay.
弗兰西斯
Frances?
你不是说这个地方是奥普拉推荐过的吗
Did you not say this place was recommended by Oprah?
我没说那个是假话吗
Oh, did I not specify that was a lie?
天呐
Oh, my God!
真是个天大的惊喜弗兰琦
As I live and breathe, Frankie!
丽塔好久没见了
Oh, Rita, it's been too long!
我的老朋友
Oh, my old friend.
天啊
Oh, boy!
索尔的事我一点都不惊讶
Was I surprised to hear about Sol?
你也知道双子座嘛
Oh, well, you know... Geminis.
我懂简直是怪物
Oh, I sure do. Monsters.
我的天这是粗麻布吗
Oh, my God, is this burlap?
双层的
Double-ply.
你一定是格蕾丝了
You must be Grace.
通常都是但我现在人格分离了
Usually, but I'm disassociating right now.
天呐那是里奥吗
Holy shit, is that Leo?
用餐区
是的他在这住了好几年了
Yes. He's lived here for years.
还有人会住在这
People live here?
我们过去还一起战斗在第一线
Back in the day, we were on the front lines together.
我和索尔都认为他很有魅力
Sol and I both thought he was very magnetic.
好啦我懂的温室的花朵
Yeah, yeah, glass houses.
你们似乎总是在一起抗♥议♥些什么
It seemed like you guys were always protesting something together.
我总觉得他最终会和桑地诺政党走到一起
Always thought he'd end up living with the Sandinistas
或者在乔氏超♥市♥里工作
or working at a Trader Joe's.
你好啊
Hey, you!
弗兰琦
Frankie.
这有些奇怪啊
That was weird.
怪人可不就怪嘛
The weird guy was weird.
你们要是准备好了可以把手♥机♥交给我
If you're ready, I can take your phones,
我领你们去你们的房♥间
walk you to your room.
暂别了大卫·斯佩德的图片分享账号♥
See you in a few, David Spade's Instagram!
我就不了我在等一个非常重要的信息
Oh, no. I'm expecting a very important text.
但我们要求所有的客人上交手♥机♥
But we ask all the guests to give up their phones.
我不是客人我是被绑♥架♥来的人♥质♥
I'm not a guest. I'm a hostage.
你见过什么样的人♥质♥是可以用手♥机♥的
What hostage do you know that has a cell phone?
给
Here we are.