绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S05E03

Part 4 May 22, 2024, 10:08 p.m.

请问下大概是什么事情呢
May I ask what it's regarding?
行了小家伙我们一会再谈
All right, we'll talk about it more later, buddy.
现在到外面玩一会吧好的
Why don't you go on outside and play for a while? Okay.
他怎么说他还是不肯说谁欺负他
Well, what did he say? Well, he still won't tell me who's picking on him,
只是叫我教他怎么打架他才五岁
but he did ask me to teach him how to fight. He's only 5.
我不想让他打架
I don't want him fighting.
很抱歉但每个男孩
I'm sorry, but every boy
迟早都要学会挥拳头的
has to learn how to throw a punch eventually. Ugh.
知道吗如果你想让他占上风的话
You know, if you wanna give him a leg up,
你应该教他一些卡泼卫勒舞卡泼什么
you could teach him a little Capoeira. Capo-what?
这是种巴西武术舞蹈
Oh, it's a Brazilian martial art
包含武术的舞蹈
that incorporates dance.
是啊再也没有比着恐怖的事情了
Yeah, 'cause there's nothing scarier
一个家伙冲到你面前手舞足蹈你可能觉得好笑但是
than a guy coming at ya with jazz hands. That's funny, but actually,
舞蹈的部分是为了让敌人掉以轻心
the dance part's to catch your opponent off guard.
像这样吗不差得远了
Like that? No, there's a little more nuance to it.
像这样
Ooh! Like that.
那舞蹈部分呢
Where's the "dance" part?
在这里很灵活
Oh! There it is, ginger!
孩子们别在房♥子里闹
You know what, boys? Not in the house.
天啊
Oh, my god!
还给我我的球现在是我的了
Give it back! It's my ball! It's my ball now.
你放开他
Hey! You leave him alone.
宝贝
Oh! Honey!
就是她欺负你吗胡安妮塔·索利斯
Is that who's been picking on you? Juanita Solis?
嗯
Uh-huh.
她会大吃一惊的
Well, she is going to get a big surprise,
因为你♥爸♥爸
because your daddy
会把你训练成打架高手
is about to turn you into a killing machine.
MJ 我和你妈妈谈谈
Uh, M.J., can I talk to your mom for a second?
好的
Mm-hmm.
什么
What?
我不能教他打女孩子
I can't teach him to hit a girl.
那不是普通的女孩子你看到了
That's not just any girl. You saw her.
她能打倒一只小鹿
She could take down a small deer.
不管怎么样
It doesn't matter.
只要打穿裙子的人就是违反规则
If it wears a skirt, it's off-limits.
这是性别歧视
That is sexist.
如果男女平等有意义那么
If feminism means anything, it's that it's okay
就可以揍一个肥胖的坏女孩
for a big, mean girl to get her butt kicked.
你教他
You, teach him
那些巴西功夫恰恰的东西
one of those Brazilian kung fu cha-cha things.
我支持麦克
I'm with Mike.
不能打女孩子
You can't hit girls.
哼两个胆小鬼
Ah! Couple of wusses.
我自己搞定
I'll handle it myself.
没看到谁打你
Oops! Didn't see that coming.
这样我就要坏规矩揍你这个小姑娘
Just for that, I'm breaking my rule about not hitting girls.
加布有件事情
Gaby, we have a problem.
我刚看到胡安妮塔推倒了MJ
I just saw Juanita push M.J. Down.
真的吗
Really?
真的
Really.
这已经不是第一次了胡安妮塔一直欺负他
It's not the first time. Juanita's been bullying him.
我很抱歉我会警告她的
Wow. I'm sorry. I'll talk to her.
谢谢
Thank you.
别担心我不会告诉别人的
And don't worry. No one will hear about this from me.
告诉别人什么
Hear what?
MJ被一个小女孩欺负
That M.J.'S getting beat up by a little girl.
嗯
Well...
一个女孩
A girl.
你是说
Are you suggesting
胡安妮塔对于她的年龄来说太胖了吗
that Juanita is fat for her age?
加比她就算对于你的年龄来说也太胖了
Gaby, Juanita's fat for your age.
面对现实吧
Yeah? Well, let's face it.
MJ连一只小猫也打不过
M.j. Could get beaten up by a kitten.
知道吗
You know what?
也许你应该教你女儿
Maybe you could teach your daughter
君子动口不动手
how to use her words and not her fists.
是吗也许你该教你儿子怎么留长头发
Yeah? Or maybe you could teach your son to grow a pair!
看什么呢
Ugh! What you looking at?
只是些旧照片
Oh, just some old pictures.
你知道照片里的女孩是谁吗
Can you guess who that little girl is?
那是你妈妈像你那么大的时候
That's your mom way back when she was your age.
她在吃什么
What's she eating?
热狗
Oh! Uh, a hot dog.
不可能
No way.
是的你妈妈以前很喜欢热狗
Oh, yes. Your mother loved hot dogs.
每天午饭时间她都会对我说
Every day at lunchtime, she'd say to me,
妈咪我要吃热狗
"mommy, I want a hot dog."
那她为什么现在不吃了呢
How come she doesn't eat them now?
因为她现在长大了
Well, because she's all grown-up.
你看热狗和汉堡
You see, hot dogs and hamburgers
能让小女孩小男孩
are what make little boys and girls
长大并且变强壮
grow up to be big and strong.
因为她现在长大了所以不需要吃了
And now that she's grown-up, she doesn't need them anymore.
那妈咪不想让我长大吗
Doesn't mommy want me to be big and strong?
我一直在想这个问题
I've been asking myself that all day.
也许她担心如果你长大了
Maybe she's afraid if you get big,
就会离开加入红袜队[棒球队]
you'll leave home and go play for the Red Sox.
但是我想长大我想加入棒球队
But I want to get big. I want to play baseball.
那么
Oh. Well...
这样的话
In that case...
我可以吃吗
Can I?
你得答应我不能告诉你妈妈
You have to promise not to tell your mommy.
没问题
Okay.
感觉怎么样
Well, what do you think?
就像豆腐但比豆腐好吃
It's like tofu, only better.
当然
Yes.
那当然
Yes, it is.
二三四
Two, three, four!
当汤姆·加沃斯沉迷在他的新爱好中的时候
When Tom Scavo threw himself into his new hobby...
他的妻子安慰自己
His wife told herself
这只是一时兴趣很快就会过去的
it was a phase, and it would pass quickly.
到那时三个小时以后她意识到
But three hours later, she realized
这个爱好不会那么快过去
it could not pass quickly enough.
所以勒奈特开始策划
So Lynette began to plot
怎么摆脱这个折磨人的乐器
against her husband's instrument of torture.
小心点宝贝
Ooh! Careful, honey.
对不起
Sorry.
你差点弄坏了你♥爸♥爸的吉他
You could break your dad's guitar and...
就在这时她女儿
It was at that moment her daughter
让她想到一个简单的事故
provided her an idea for a... simple accident...
还有完美的开脱证据
And... a clean alibi.
妈的
Damn it!
发生什么事情汤姆天啊
Hey, is everything all right? Oh, my!
它放在路中间
It was lying in the middle of the floor!
到底谁干的佩妮是不是又到这里来玩了
How in the world did that happen? Has penny been playing in here again?
我都告诉她多少次了
I've told her a million times!
这只是个意外汤姆别骂她
Now I'm sure it was an accident, Tom. Please don't yell at her.
这贝斯花了1600美元
This was a $1,600 bass.
我没钱再买♥♥一个了
I can't afford to replace it.
佩妮·林恩·斯加沃
Penny Lynn Scavo!
她在哪
Where is she?
汤姆
Oh, Tom!
她在楼上自己的房♥间
She's up in her room.
我要到外面去玩
I'm gonna go play outside.
等等别忘了你的哨子
Oh! Wait. Your forgot your whistle.
好了甜心
Okay, sweetie.
为了安全起见
This is just to be on the safe side.
如果胡安妮塔在附近你就吹哨子
If Juanita comes around, you just blow it.