绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S05E16

Part 3 May 22, 2024, 10:09 p.m.

会不懂 "打扫卫生时弄碎了"是什么意思
who doesn't know what "I broke it dusting" means. That's how I got rid
我也是用这种借口扔掉了汤姆最后一瓶 "麝香男人的古龙香水"
of Tom's last bottle of "musk, the Cologne for men."
好吧你们爱怎么想就怎么想吧
All right, you guys think what you want.
我还是选择相信她
I'm gonna choose to believe her.
好我们拿了威士忌和波旁麦克还要什么？
All right, so we have whiskey and bourbon. What else does Mike want?
等等我们得有条理
Bup, bup, bup. We need a system.
先从英格兰酒开始
Let's start over there in Scotland,
然后俄♥国♥酒各个国家依次来
head over to Russia and work our way around the globe.
哟人很多嘛他们都在买♥♥彩票
Wow. It's crowded in here. They're all buying lottery tickets.
这次累积奖金1亿
The jackpot's $100 million.
瞧还有个牧师
Look. There's a priest.
我就知道他们"甘于清贫"的誓言都是胡说八道
I knew that vow of poverty was a crock.
你好！
Hello!
你还记得我吗我是德兰斯神父
You remember me. Father Drance.
我都不知道你搬回来了
I-I didn't know you'd moved back to the area.
刚想起来麦克要苦艾酒
Oh, I just remembered. Mike wants vermouth.
你去拿上好吗? 别待会儿忘了
Can you grab that before we forget?
没问题马上
Sure. Right away.
看到你气色这么好真是太好了
It's wonderful to see you looking so well. I...
闭嘴
Shut up.
我只说这一次我开始新生活了
I'm only gonna say this once. I've moved on.
我又结婚了有全新的生活
I've remarried, I have a new life,
我不想改变现在的样子
and that's the way I want it to stay... new.
当然
Of course.
呃怎么回事？
So, uh, what was that about?
他说有一次在飞机上我们坐一起来着
Oh. He said we sat together once on an airplane.
很显然他不象自己想的那样令人难忘
Apparently he's less memorable than he thinks he is.
快买♥♥酒吧别错过了派对
Come on. I don't want to miss the party.
好好我会去做的但你欠我一次
Fine. Fine. Fine. I will do it, but you owe me.
我得挂了
I gotta go.
让我猜猜布拉德打来的
Let me guess. Brad.
没错他要我明天带玛丽亚去逛物是啊这样他就可以去偷♥情♥
Yes, he wants me to take Maria shopping tomorrow. Yeah, so he can grab a quickie.
整件事让人恶心我再也受不了了
You know, this whole thing is disgusting.
我知道你就不断告诉自己
I can't take it anymore. I know. Just keep reminding yourself
这么做我们也有好处的
that we're getting things out of it, too.
这样的好处我才不要不是自己挣的
Things I don't want. Things I haven't earned.
还是告诉布拉德利我们不陪他玩了
No, I'm gonna tell Bradley we're out.
什么? 你不能那么做
What? You can't do that.
你会丢了工作还有那笔钱我才不在乎那钱
You'll lose your job and all that money. I don't care about the money.
我在乎啊我的形象顾问和普拉提教练也在乎
I do... And so does my personal shopper and pilates instructor.
加布不要这样我们要做正确的事
Gaby, no. We're doing the right thing.
或者我们也可以...
Or we can...
让其他人去做正确的事
Make someone else do the right thing.
加布你是什么意思？
Gaby, what does that mean?
意思就是...
It means...
明天我就去商场
Tomorrow I'm going to the mall
让一个荡♥妇♥帮我理发
to get my hair cut by a slut. Mm.
瞧瞧我找到了什么我的海滩画
Hey. Uh, look at what I found... My beach painting.
是啊凯瑟琳告诉我画被打碎了
Oh, yeah. Katherine told me it broke.
不好意思
Sorry about that.
她也是这么和我说的
Yeah, that's what she told me, too,
只不过画好着呢
only, uh, it didn't.
奇怪了她为什么这么...
That's weird. Why would she...
我不知道
I don't know.
她之前很喜欢这幅画
She seemed to love the painting...
直到我告诉她这是我画的
Until I told her that I painted it.
失陪一下
Excuse me just a minute.
我不是小题大作
I'm not making a big deal.
我就是想知道你为什么撒谎麦克求你了别现在讨论这个
I just want to know why you lied. Mike, please, not now.
我们还有一屋子客人呢不行就要现在讨论
We have a house full of guests. No, we'll talk about this now.
你在干嘛? 没什么
What are you doing? Uh, nothing.
苏珊给我看了那画
Susan showed me the painting.
一点没坏什么？
There's not a scratch on it. She what?!
不会吧
You didn't.
苏珊！
Susan!
这下你开心了没有
I hope you enjoyed that. I didn't.
真没有
I didn't. Uh...
想怎么剪？
So what are we thinking?
呃沙伊拉你是叫沙伊拉吧？
Well, Shayla... It is Shayla, right?
我需要一个全新的造型
Mm-hmm. I need a fresh look. Mm.
最近经历了一些私事让我神经紧张
I've been going through some pretty intense personal stuff lately.
是吗？
Oh. Really?
好啦还是和你说了吧
Fine. I'll tell you.
我在和一位已婚男人搞外遇
I have been having an affair with a married man,
以至于我都没勇气面对镜中的自己
and it's come to that point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
所以我想搞个新发型表明我不要再做罪人了
So I want a new style that says I'm not a giant turd of sin.
爱上已婚男人不是你的错一开始我也是这么想的后来意识到
Well, it's not your fault that you fell in love with a married man. Yeah, that's what I thought at first,
这种想法很傻
and then I realized that's stupid.
我是说他那可怜的老婆怎么办？
I mean, what about his poor wife?
也许她不够爱他
Well, maybe she doesn't love him enough.
不不她爱他非常爱
Oh, no. She does. She loves him plenty.
要不要把刘海往上梳一点？
So you want to take the bangs up a little bit?
他还有小孩两个非常可爱的小孩
And he has kids... Two adorable little kids.
真是不幸
That's sad,
但有时你得为自己考虑考虑啊
but sometimes you just have to look out for yourself.
也许我厌倦了自私第三者的角色
Well, maybe I am tired of being that kind of selfish bitch.
有没有考虑过挑染？
Have you ever considered, uh, highlights?
别打岔沙伊拉! 我们正在说我如何毁了人家的生活
Focus, Shayla! We are talking about how I'm ruining innocent people's lives.
加布你看上去既可爱又热情
Gaby, you seem like a lovely, warm person.
别自责了
Stop beating yourself up.
天哪你这个金发白♥痴♥
Oh, for god sakes, you bleached blonde twit.
我不是在说我我是在说你和Bradley
I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you and Bradley.
什么? 你说什么? 你是谁？
What? What... what is this? Who... who are you?
我是玛丽亚的朋友顺便说一下
I'm a friend of Maria's, who, by the way,
她是个热心又可爱的人
happens to be a warm and lovely person.
也许吧但布拉德不爱她
Well, maybe she is, but Brad doesn't love her.
他说他会离开她的
He says he's gonna leave her.
沙伊拉他撒谎她怀孕了
Oh, Shayla, he's lying. She's pregnant.
不可能他们一年多没发♥生♥关♥系♥了
That's impossible. They haven't had sex in over a year.
给梵蒂冈打电♥话♥
Well, call the Vatican,
因为玛丽亚(圣母玛利亚) 需要马棚和干草用来生孩子
'cause we're gonna need a manger and some hay.
滚我是在保护你啊
Get out. I'm just trying to protect you here.
我说了现在给我滚
I said get out now.
好我们先深呼吸
Okay, let's just take a deep breath here...
别做后悔的事
Let's not do anything we're gonna regret.
马上滚
Now.
这就是为什么人们不该在商场剪发！
This is why people should never get their hair cut in a mall!
你不能刮刮胡子？
Mwah. Ohh. You couldn't shave?
来吧汤姆你得端庄整洁
Come on, Tom. You need to look nice.
布里不厌其烦地张罗晚餐
Bree's going to a lot of trouble for this dinner.
怎么她的三文鱼泡芙首发仪式？
What, is she debuting a new salmon puff?
好吧我本想等你心情好才说
Okay. I was going to wait to tell you this when you were in a good mood,
但已经等不到了
but I realize that's not gonna happen,
布里有个特殊客人她的出版商
so Bree has a special guest tonight, her publisher... Mm-hmm.
幸运的是
And as luck would have it,
他正在寻找新的销♥售♥总监
he's looking to hire a new marketing executive.
噢我的天
Oh, my god. What are you...
你要把我骗进职位面试？
Are you tricking me into a job interview?
我会自己找工作行吗? 只是需要点时间
I'll find something, okay? I just need some time.
你很消沉我明白
You're grieving. I get it.
但那像是个不可多得的职位
But this sounds like a fantastic job.
求你去和他交流交流然后给他留下好的...
Please just hear the guy out and make a nice...
印象
Impression.
好我去刮胡子
Fine. I'll shave.
再刷刷牙我眼泪都熏出来了
And brush your teeth. My eyes are watering.
别只是弄湿牙刷
Oh. And don't just wet the toothbrush.
我分辨得出
I can tell.
布鲁斯你好
Bruce. Hello.
请进
Hi. Come on in. Hi.
感谢你今晚光临寒舍
Hi. Thank you so much for joining us tonight.