绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S05E22

Part 3 May 22, 2024, 10:09 p.m.

除夕之夜
That one new year's Eve
她心情郁闷至极掉进了酒池了
where she got so plowed she fell in the koi pond...
压在你身上你也醉醺醺的
Where she landed on you, drunky sue.
那次晚会每个人都被灌醉了
Everybody was hammered at that party.
那一定是赌博的问题
Well, then it must've been a gambling problem.
你怎么知道
Based on what?
她一定会玩宾戈游戏
She never missed bingo night at immaculate heart...
她是马丁·路德的信徒
And she was lutheran.
你真的认为她的房♥子是被她赌没了的
You really think she bingo'ed her house away?
我不清楚但肯定有原因
Uh, I don't know. There has to be some reason.
你不可能一下变得如此穷困潦倒
You don't fall that far that fast
除非做了一些愚蠢的决定
without making some really stupid choices.
你为什么这么生气
Why you gettin' so angry?
卡洛斯帝梵尼陶瓷啊
It was Tiffany China, Carlos.
你就是那个破坏了我钓鱼之旅的人吧
Aha! There's the man that ruined my fishing trip.
对不起大卫不没什么
Sorry about that, Dave. Oh, no worries.
我为你和苏珊高兴恭喜你们
Hey, I am so happy for you and Susan. Congratulations.
谢谢
Thanks.
怎么走了
So how have you been?
我们还没有机会聊聊自从
We haven't had a chance to talk since...
记不清了好像是火灾之后
I don't know, probably the fire.
是的你是个大英雄
Uh, yeah. You were the big hero.
我是被困在厕所里的蠢货
I was the doofus that got stuck in the men's room.
那真是可怕的一夜
Oh, that was a hell of a night.
应该忘了它对我也这么认为
Sure would like to forget that. Yeah, me, too.
倒霉的是我还要去一次城里周二去跟警♥察♥谈话真的吗
Unfortunately, I have to go down and talk to the cops on Tuesday. Really?
是啊我去市政大厅拿结婚证书
Yeah. I went down to city hall to get my marriage certificate,
我被那晚其中一个侦探抓住了
and I ran into one of the detectives from that night,
很明显他们一直在想办法联♥系♥我
and apparently, they've been trying to get in touch with me.
所以我婚后要马上去城里一趟
So now I get to go down there the day after my wedding.
这也是一种蜜月
Some honeymoon, huh?
那些家伙真知道怎么在你的大日子里找麻烦
Wow. Those guys really know how to put a crimp in your day.
那他们有说要跟你谈些什么吗
So did they say what they wanted to talk to you about?
我猜他们只是想知道我有没有看到什么可疑的
I guess they just wanna know if I saw anything suspicious.
那你看到了吗
Hmm. Did you?
没有我当时在后台
Mm, no. I mean, I was backstage.
我朝着厕所跑去然后跑进去
I was headed to the men's room, and I ran into...
实在是对不起
Oh! Ugh! I am so sorry.
不别担心我来处理
Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.
这里一定有拖把
I mean, there's gotta be a mop around here somewhere.
它不会自己出现
That's not coming out.
布里可以一下子把这处理好
Oh, Bree can get rid of that in a jiffy.
她现在在哪
Now where did she go?
好开始作秀擦擦你的鞋
Okay. Showtime. Wipe your feet first.
我刚把地毯弄干净
I just had the carpets cleaned.
因为我们虽然是小偷
Just because we're thieves
但并不意味着我们就要脏兮兮的
doesn't mean we need to be untidy.
这个偷吗
Are we stealing this?
是的据我所知这个很值钱
Uh, yes. As I recall, it's quite valuable.
这个呢天啊不
What about this? Oh, god, no.
那是奥森的年度创新奖
That's Orson's dental innovator of the year award.
我一直都很讨厌它
I've always hated that thing.
那放这
Oh, here.
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
我把银器拿走了
I, uh, took some of my silver off the mantle,
修复应有的平衡
and it threw off the balance.
是的
Yeah.
你说得对我来帮你
You're right. Let me help.
平衡重新恢复了
There. Balance restored.
有这个必要吗
Was that necessary?
这里必须看起来好像被小偷洗劫一空的样子
This place has to look like it was ransacked by robbers,
不是想某个人的店铺是的但是你一定要用这种方式吗
not someone's personal shopper. Fine! But do you have to do it with such relish?
你付钱给我不只是为了走个过场吧
Hey, you're not paying me to just go through the motions.
说到这个你奥森的确像你说的那样吗
Speaking of which... are you nailing Orson like we discussed?
这不关你事
That is none of your business.
是的我们要确保他不会产生任何怀疑
Well, we have to make sure he doesn't suspect anything.
我所说的完全是事实毫无添油加醋
I do the bare minimum. No more, no less.
那他是传教士吗
So is he just missionary?
他看起来像那种严谨的传教士
He seems like a strictly missionary kind of guy.
你一定要这么残忍♥吗
Must you be so crude?
你又何苦要这么较真
Must you always be such a priss?
一提到性你就行为异常
You freak out at the mention of sex.
你从不会制♥造♥混乱
You never want to make a mess.
你压抑所有发自内心的欲望
You suppress every spontaneous urge you ever have!
天啊你一定厌倦了人生
Man, it must be exhausting being you!
是的做一个努力的女人
Yes, being a lady takes effort.
是啊也许需要休息一下
Well, maybe give it a rest once in a while.
你将会惊讶地发现这种感觉多么好
It might surprise you how good it feels.
你想做一个原始人卡尔那是你的选择
You wanna be a neanderthal, Karl? That's your choice.
我选择高尚尊贵的举止
I prefer to behave with class and dignity.
盗窃结束了没有
Now may we please finish robbing my home?
比尔·布朗
Bill brown!
我是汤姆·加沃斯
It's Tom Scavo.
汤姆天啊
Tom! Oh, my god!
你在这做什么
What are you doing here?
杰克逊和我在同一个球队
Well, Jackson and I are in the same soccer league.
勒奈特这是比尔·布朗
Lynette, this is bill brown.
我们大一的时候是同宿舍的你好
We were roommates freshmen year in college. Hi.
真的吗是的
Really? Yeah!
天啊你看起来很年轻一点都没有变老你也一样
God, you look fantastic. You haven't aged a day. Hey, right back at ya.
骗人你刚刚都没有认出我
Liar. You didn't even recognize me.
等等你们是同班同学吗是啊
Back up a second. You guys were classmates? Yeah.
就是说你们同一时间在同一个班吗
Meaning you were in the same class at the same time?
同班同学就是这个意思勒奈特我们一样大
That's what classmates means, Lynette. We're the same age.
事实上我比你还大6个月
Actually, I think I'm six months older.
你更大啊
You're older?!
不好意思我真是不敢相信
I'm sorry, I just cannot believe...
他们竟然从焗烤蘑菇里掉出来了
That they're out of stuffed mushrooms.
不好意思
Excuse me.
好我妻子是令人伤脑筋但是她是对的
Okay, my wife's annoying, but she is right.
你的年轻秘诀是什么
What's your secret? What is it? Diet? Exercise?
是什么饮食还是运动你每天早上吃一碗干细胞吗
You eatin' a bowl of stem cells every morning?
快点告诉我怎么回事彼得.潘
Come on. What's going on, Peter Pan?
好吧你真的想知道吗
Okay... You really wanna know?
你好啊
Hi!
这是给你和杰克逊的礼物。恭喜你们
This is for you and Jackson. Congratulations!
太感谢了好大的礼啊真厉害
Aw, how sweet. Oh! And heavy. Score.
我们现在可以更慷慨一些
Yeah, well, we can afford to be generous
因为以后不用给你赡养费了
now that I'm off the hook for alimony.
对啊什么
Yeah. What?
你要结婚了
You're getting remarried.
我不用每月给你支票了
So I can stop sending that check every month.
双赢啊
Everybody gets a gift.
对啊也恭喜你们
Right! Score for you!
和你单独谈一下
Uh, can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah?
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
你有赡养费
You get alimony?
我以为你很骄傲不会要赡养费的
I thought you were too proud to take alimony.
我很骄傲不愿意接纳但不代表我不去接纳
I was too proud to admit it. I'm not too proud to take it.
我需要那些钱杰克逊
I need that money, Jackson.
我会试着凑钱凑钱
Well, I-I can try to chip in. "Chip in"?
这可不是给会计部的雪莉凑钱买♥♥生日蛋糕
It's is not a birthday cake for Shirley in accounting.
这是关于贷款食物和保险
It's mortgage and food and insurance.
抱歉我不能嫁给你
I'm sorry, but I can't marry you.
不苏珊他们会把我送回去
No, Susan, they'll send me back.
是加拿大啊不是伊朗
It's Canada, not Iran.
跟美国一样啊都有免费的医疗保险
It's like america with free health insurance.
我知道这对你很重要
Okay, I know this is important to you,
但我每个月都指望这笔钱我知道
but I depend on that check every month. And I know you do.
但我就是想不通刚找到喜欢的工作
I just can't believe that I finally found a job that I love,