马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S03E12

Part 2 Feb. 17, 2020, 10:49 a.m.

stirring olive oil into pasta!
圣克莱门特海岸边发生有嚼劲的灾难
Disaster al dente off the coast of San Clemente!
意面末日
12吨♥意面流入大海
Twelve tons of pasta have leaked into the ocean,
这数量庞大的碳水化合物
and the massive carbo load
正在向太平洋城进发
is heading straight to Pacific Ocean City.
通过谷歌♥聊骚与我们连线的
Joining us via Google Hangout
是意面科学家卡拉·霍尔
is spaghetti scientist Carla Hall.
跟我们汇报一下情况吧卡拉
What can you tell us, Carla?
汤姆随着意面的烹饪
Well, Tom, as the spaghetti cooks,
它的体积会变大将整个城镇覆盖
it will expand, smothering the town
并把海洋生物煮个鲜香嫩滑
and tenderly broiling the sea life who reside there.
有没有什么办法能阻止
Is there any way to prevent
这听上去非常美味的环境灾难
this delicious-sounding environmental catastrophe?
唯一的希望就是
The only hope for rescue would be
有人家里闲置着很多很多
if someone had an enormous quantity of spaghetti strainers
意面过滤筛
just sitting around the house,
同时那个人也必须得能找到很多司机
but that person would also need access to a fleet of drivers
来运送这些意面过滤筛
to transport said spaghetti strainers,
为了能快速过滤掉这些意面
and in order to strain the spaghetti fast enough,
那些司机还必须要是很强健的游泳选手
the drivers would also need to be incredibly strong swimmers,
比如说热辣性感的逆戟鲸
like, just as an example, hot, sexy killer whales.
真的能有救世主能刚好满足
Is there such a savior who could possibly fit
这些详细到不能再详细的条件吗
that ridiculously specific set of criteria?
我不知道汤姆
I don't know, Tom,
但就像我在最爱的电视节目里说的那样
but as they used to say on my favorite TV show,
让我们拭目以待
let's find out.
大白天看电影我敢不敢呢
A movie, during the day? Dare I?
请给我一张《一代骄马》的电影票
One for Secretariat, please!
谢谢你
Thank you.
现在我要把手♥机♥关掉
And, now, to turn my phone off.
如果接下来两小时内有人要找我
If anyone needs me in the next two hours,
就让他们等着吧
they'll just have to wait.
这场悲剧着实在面条里加了"不"
This tragedy truly puts the "no" into noodle,
在螺纹意面加了"啊哦" 在通心面里加了"天"
the "ruh-roh" in rotelli, and the "oh, man" in manicotti.
妈的兰迪你就不能选出个最喜欢的来吗
Damn it, Randy. Just pick your best one.
-怎么了 -你没听见吗
- What's going on? - You didn't hear?
他们现在急需意面过滤筛
They need spaghetti strainers stat,
否则太平洋城药丸
or it's "pasta la vista" for Pacific Ocean City.
不要啊
Oh, no!
快啊快啊接电♥话♥啊花生酱先生
Come on, come on, come on! Pick up, Mr. Peanutbutter!
-你好 -花生酱先生我们需要...
- Hello? - Oh! Mr. Peanutbutter, we need--
这里是花生酱先生的语♥音♥信箱
You've reached the voicemail of Mr. Peanutbutter.
不
No!
我不是为自己在奔跑我是在为国家而奔跑
I'm not just running for me. I'm running for America.
奇迹拼车司机们出发前往花生酱先生的家
Cabracadabblers, to Mr. Peanutbutter's house!
你是说那部电视剧里的家
Mr. Peanutbutter's House the show,
还是他真正的家
or Mr. Peanutbutter's house the house?
真正的家当然是真正的家
The house. Obviously, the house.
哇噻这部电影可真棒
Wow, that was a good movie.
但它配得上奥斯卡奖吗谁又能决定呢
Was it Oscar-worthy? Who's to say?
98条消息我最好还是按照顺序全都听一遍吧
Ninety-eight messages? Better listen to them all, in order.
花生酱先生收到消息快点给我回电♥话♥
Mr. Peanutbutter, call me back as soon as you get this, okay?
我们需要你的过滤筛人命关天啊
We need your strainers. This is life and death.
-我的天啊 -花生酱先生
- Oh, my God! - Mr. Peanutbutter,
我就在你家门口奇迹拼车车队也在这里
I'm at your house with the entire Cabracadabra fleet,
可是我们进不去
but we can't get in!
你快点过来
You need to get over here!
这是个意面过滤筛危机
It's a spaghetti-strainer-related emergency.
好的哥们
All right, buddy,
等我听完剩下的96条消息我就过去
just as soon as I listen to these other 96 messages.
下午好这里是中♥央♥剧院小组
Good afternoon, I'm calling from Center Theater Group.
您八年前曾经观看过一场演出
You saw a play once eight years ago.
我想知道您是否有兴趣订阅整季节目
I wonder if I could interest you in a full season subscription--
我可没时间管这些
Oh, I don't have time for this!
如果奇迹还不发生...
If we don't get some kind of miracle--
等等在遥远的那边那难道是...
Wait! In the distance! Is that--?
不这不可能
No, it can't be!
管你是不是意面汪爷我杀来了
Spaghetti or not, here I come.
塞布丽娜我下楼来看我的生日惊喜了
Sabrina, I'm coming down for my birthday surprise!
不要啊
Oh, no!
我是听说过《双面意面星》[双面女蝎星]
Well, I've heard of pasta point of no return,
但这也太夸张了吧
but this is ridiculous!
你怎么不告诉我你意面做多了呢
Why didn't you just tell me you made too much spaghetti?
我以为如果你知道我闯了这么大的祸
I thought if you knew I made a big mess
就不会再爱我了
that you wouldn't love me anymore.
塞布丽娜那是不可能的
Sabrina, that's not going to happen.
我们现在是一家人无论如何都是一家人
We're a family now, no matter what,
我会永远陪在你身边
and I will always be there for you.
好的
Okay.
现在赶紧去厨房♥ 把那些意面都给我吃完
Now, get in that kitchen and eat all that spaghetti.
你让我全吃完那也太多了
I gotta eat all that? That's too much, man!
我一直不明白为什么《胡闹的小马》家里
I never understood why the Horsin' Around house
-有两个楼梯 -什么
- had two sets of stairs. - What?
客厅一个厨房♥一个为什么
One in the living room and one in the kitchen. Why?
你见到过那样的房♥子吗
Have you ever been in a house like that?
-你来这里干什么 -你不接电♥话♥
- What are you doing here? - You didn't answer your phone.
我很担心你
I was worried about you.
葬礼很盛大到场的人很多
The funeral was huge. There were so many people there.
我一直在想这都是我害的
I kept thinking, "I did this to her,"
大家都一副理所应当的样子
and everyone was just standing around like,
好像在说"早就知道会有这么一天"
"Well, this was bound to happen,"
但是本来并不应该是这样的
but... it wasn't bound to happen.
我很遗憾波杰克
I'm really sorry, BoJack.
我不知道该怎么办了戴安
I don't know how to be, Diane.
这种痛苦一直伴随着我毫不减轻
It doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier.
我不能一直欺骗自己
I can't keep lying to myself,
总说自己会改变但我是毒药
saying "I'm gonna change." I'm poison.
-波杰克 -我被毒药浸染
- BoJack-- - I come from poison.
浑身是毒我总会毁掉一切
I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch.
这就是我的贡献
That's my legacy.
我所过的生活没什么值得夸耀
I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived,
生命中也没有谁
and I have nobody in my life
因为认识我而变得更幸福
who's better off for having known me.
-不是这样的 -不是吗
- That isn't true. - Isn't it, though?
我小的时候经常在电视上看你
When I was a kid, I used to watch you on TV.
你知道我小时候家庭环境不好
And you know I didn't have the best family.
每天都过得挺悲惨的
Things weren't that great for me.
但是每周总有半小时我能看一部电视剧
But, for half an hour every week, I got to watch this show
四个一无所有的人
about four people who had nobody,
遇到了彼此然后成为了一家人
who came together and became a family.
每周的那半小时我是有家的
And, for half an hour every week, I had a home,
这点快乐让我撑了下来
and it helped me survive.
波杰克成千上万的人
BoJack, there are millions of people
都因为认识你而变得更幸福
who are better off for having known you.
你为什么从来没告诉我
Why did you never tell me that?
可能是为了保持作为记者的客观性吧
I guess to preserve some fiction of journalistic objectivity.
-其实都是胡扯 -我知道你不愿意听我这么说
- Like that's a thing. - I know you don't want to hear this,
但是你能力这么强
but you're too good to be
真的不应该只帮名人发推发博发朋友圈
writing Instagram captions for celebrities.
-我没有... -很抱歉但这是事实
- I'm not just-- - I'm sorry, but you are.
-你也知道的 -好吧谢谢你
- You know you are. - Okay. Thank you.
真希望你搬走之后我们没有那么疏远
And I wish you didn't get so distant after you moved out.
-很抱歉 -你比谁都更了解我
- I'm sorry. -You know me better than anybody,
我的生命里需要你的存在
and you can't not be a part of my life.
工具店这是布莱德
Tools! This is Brad.
-我想拍《胡闹的伊森》 -好玩吗
- I want to do Ethan Around. - Oh, very funny.
是锤子工具店的杰夫恶搞我吗
Is this Jeff from Hammers and More?
-不是我马男波杰克 -真的吗
- No, it's me, BoJack Horseman. - Wait, really?
我觉得现在的人
Yeah. I think now more than
非常需要《胡闹的小马》这样的电视剧
ever people need shows like Horsin' Around.