马男波杰克
BoJack Horseman
第三季
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马男波杰克
BoJack Horseman S03E06
Part 1
Feb. 17, 2020, 10:47 a.m.
...擦
...fucker!
我们可以选择
So, we have some options.
没错 可以有很多选择
Yeah, a lot of options to discuss.
-你知道我爱你 -当然 但这是两码事
- You know I love you. - Of course, but that's not what this is about.
我们早就说好不要孩子 除非...
We always agreed we didn't want kids, unless--
一个精明又高尚的小孩参加茱莉亚学院的海选
A streetwise but soulful teen needed somewhere to live
需要住的地方
as he waited for his Juilliard audition.
美国著名音乐学院
我们就出资支持他跳舞
We'd support his dancing
而且让他住在客房♥里 没错
and let him stay in the guest room, right.
-但是一个婴儿 你... -这不只是我的事
- But a baby? Are you--? - It's not about me.
"子♥宫♥"里没有"我" 只有"我们"
There's no "I" in uterus, there's only "Us."
还有一个"你" 和另一个"你"
And "U," and another "U,"
但第二个"你"是在"我们"里面
but that's the "U" that's in "Us,"
所以我已经说过了
so I already said that "U."
重点在于 我会一直陪着你 全天候服务
The point is, I'm going to be here for you, 24/7.
以247%的热情
Two hundred and forty-seven percent,
我就是这么投入地陪着你
that's how "There for you" I'll be.
-不论你的决定... -是我们的决定 因为这是...
- Whatever you decide... - What we decide, because this is--
没错 我们正在商量
Definitely. This is a conversation.
不如我们数三下 一起说出自己的想法
Let's just both say what we want at the same time on three.
-好 -一 二
- Okay. - One, two--
是说三的时候一起说还是说完三再说
On three or after three?
说三的时候我怎么说 我要说"三"啊
How could I say it "On three"? I'll be saying "Three."
-好 好 -一 二 三
- Okay. Okay. - One, two, three...
-人流 -去做人流
- Abortion. - Get an abortion.
天哪 我们说的不一样
Oh, no. We said different things.
马男波杰克 第三季第六集
奥斯卡颁奖典礼即将揭晓
The Oscar race is heating up,
《奥斯卡之路》金雪花
当红明星们纷纷闪亮登场
and all the hot stars came out to sizzle
金雪花奖 瑞安·西克莱斯特为您直播
来参加金"雪花"奖颁奖典礼
at the Golden Snowflake Awards.
这是48种奖项的第一项
Step one on the 48 awards show
也是奥斯卡疲惫之路的第一场考验
gauntlet that is The Exhausting Road To Oscar.
2015年金雪花奖颁奖典礼
电影类最佳男演员奖
以下是电影类最佳男演员奖的提名
The nominees for best actor in a motion picture or Vine are...
暗指马特·达蒙 《火星救援》
出演《火星一夜》的麻特·呆蒙
Mitt Dermon for Midnight Hole...
暗指布拉德·皮特《僵尸之地》
出演《艾滋之城》的布拉德·噗通
Bread Poot for City Of AIDS...
暗指莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥 《荒野猎人》
出演《荒野花生》的莱昂那那·迪卡普里科恩
Lernernerner DiCarpricorn for The Haberdasher's Peanut...
暗指 乔治·克鲁尼 《杀出个黎明》
出演《玩快艇筛子的纳粹兵》的缺智·克鲁尼
Jurj Clooners for The Nazi Who Played Yahtzee...
波杰克·马男 《一代骄马》
以及出演《一代骄马》的马男波杰克
and BoJack Horseman for Secretariat.
天哪
Oh, my God.
金雪花奖获得者为 缺智·克鲁尼
And the Golden Snowflake is... Jurj Clooners.
我的天哪
Oh, my goodness.
这是真的吗
You have to be kidding me.
庄园"毛"酒店
别担心 下次获奖的就是你了
Don't worry, they'll call your name next time.
过去十年的九位奥斯卡奖获得者都是我的客户
My clients have won Oscars nine out of the last ten years.
十分之九吗
Nine out of ten?
如果你是一家航♥空♥公♥司♥ 飞机十次着陆九次成功
If you were an airline and landed nine out of ten planes,
你应该不会在广♥告♥里大肆宣扬这个成就
you wouldn't exactly brag about that in your commercial.
大家都很喜欢《一代骄马》 你会获奖的
Everyone loves Secretariat. Your time will come.
先失陪一下 我要去告诉艾·欧·斯科特
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go tell A.O. Scott
你有多厉害
how great you are.
斯科特
Hey, yo, Scott!
戴安
Hey, Diane.
-戴安 戴安 戴安 -我在工作 波杰克
- Diane, Diane, Diane. - I'm doing my job, BoJack.
你们这些年轻人啊
Young people and their phones.
也许这个房♥间里正有一道美丽的彩虹
There could be a beautiful rainbow in this room right now
而你却一无所知
and you would have no idea.
是不是引人深思
Really makes you think, huh?
你在手♥机♥上能看到彩虹吗
Can you look at rainbows on your phone?
闭嘴 波杰克
Shut up, BoJack.
该死
Shit.
闭嘴 波杰克
我刚刚用辛西娅·尼克松的账号♥发了
I just tweeted "Shut up, BoJack,"
"闭嘴 波杰克"
as Cynthia Nixon.
没事 反正她也不太喜欢我 情有可原
I'd buy it. She is not a fan, and for good reason.
之前我们在波科诺山上的时候...
We were up in the Poconos, she and I...
波杰克 我不想听
BoJack, not now.
-你今天吃炸♥药♥了啊 -你真想知道吗
- What's up your butt tonight? - You really wanna know?
对 我想知道你是如何吃了一包炸♥药♥
Yes, I would seriously like to know what crawled up your butt,
而这包炸♥药♥在你肚子里安居乐业
made a home for itself in your butt,
繁衍生息 度过了充实的一生
started a family, lived a fruitful life,
又死在了你的肚子里
and then died up your butt.
我要做人流了
I'm getting an abortion.
真是怀念啊
Whoa, that takes me back.
90年代的时候 我与人流也是有不少故事
I had more than my share of abortions in the '90s.
我没有做 我只负责掏钱
I didn't get them, I paid for them.
真希望那些女人真的去做了人流
I really hope all those women actually got the abortions,
而不是把我的钱私吞了
and didn't just keep my money.
戴安 你是在帮流行天后性缇娜·阿卡菲娜发微博吗
Diane, are you tweeting for pop starlet Sextina Aquafina right now?
正要发 怎么了
I'm trying to. Why?
因为她的账号♥刚给4千万粉丝发了一条微博
Because her account just tweeted out to 40 million followers,
内容是"我要做人流了"
"I'm getting an abortion."
什么 不会吧
What? No--
我要做人流了
她...
She--
完了
Oh, balls.
重大新闻
一条火遍全世界的微博
The tweet heard round the world.
性缇娜·阿卡菲娜
我要做人流了
性缇娜·阿卡菲娜说 "我要做人流了"
Sextina Aquafina says, "I'm getting an abortion."
全世界人说 "什么"
And the world says, "Whaaa?"
如果此事属实 那我们必须说道说道
If it's happening, we're gonna talk about it.
欢迎来到汤姆爆料秀
It's time for Tom's Rant.
在微博上讨论
Is Twitter an appropriate forum
人流这样敏感的话题 真的合适吗
to be discussing a sensitive issue like abortion?
难道不应该避人耳目吗
Wouldn't a better forum be nowhere?
等等 怎么写的是"汤姆爆 料秀" 怎么回事
Wait, does that say "Tom Srant"? Why does that say Tom Srant?
我明明说了
I clearly said--
兰迪 别看杰西卡 这是你的错
Randy, don't look at Jessica. This is on you.
戴安 咱们公♥司♥命悬一线 之所以能苟延残喘
Diane, VIM is hanging on by a thread and only barely scraping by
全靠性缇娜这样的大客户
because of clients like Sextina.
听说你终于敲定了大熊别♥墅♥那笔单子
Hey! Heard you pulled the trigger on the Big Bear condo.
你的眼光非常不错 我们公♥司♥前景很好
Great investment. We are not on the edge of complete ruin.
我们公♥司♥马上要完蛋了
We are on the edge of complete ruin.
要是我跟她好好解释 她应该会理解的吧
I think if I explain it to her and apologize, she'll understand.
你觉得她像善解人意的人吗 她可是流行小天后
Because she's so understanding? This is a teenage pop star.
简直就是两颗小炸♥弹♥
Literally the two least compassionate entities
合体而成的一颗毫无善意的大炸♥弹♥
combined into the supernova of not understanding
这就是性缇娜·阿卡菲娜
that is Sextina Aquafina.
想象一下我有多惊讶
So imagine my surprise
当时我正在卡扎菲表弟的
when I'm in the middle of a performance
私人游艇上为他献唱
for Gaddafi's cousin on his yacht
正置身于巨大的香槟酒杯中唱着《左乳》
and I'm in a giant champagne flute singing "Left Titty"
突然所有人开始看手♥机♥ 然后又看我
and everyone starts to look at their phones and look at me,
因为我要堕掉一个我根本没有的孩子
because I am apparently aborting a baby I do not have.
所以我让他们把船变成了车
So I had them turn their boat into a car
载我过来炒了某人
and drive me here to fire someone.
那个人就是我吧
I think that's me.
没错 你被解雇了 四眼妹
Great. You're fired, Glasses.
我会发表声明解释清楚的
I'll put out a statement explaining the whole mess.
真的很抱歉
I am so sorry.
哦什么 谁让你哦的
What "Oh?" Who said you could "Oh?"
泰勒·斯威夫特刚刚发推说你很勇敢
Taylor Swift just tweeted that you were "Brave."
妮琪·米娜给你发了一个桃心眼表情
Nicki Minaj tweeted at you a face with heart eyes.
新闻通刚刚列出了一张15名的艺人清单
And BuzzFeed just posted a list of top 15 celebrities
说他们早该像性缇娜那样堕胎
who should have had abortions like Sextina.
-你上热搜榜首了 -热搜
-You're trending like crazy. -I'm trending?
大多数堕过胎的女性不会公开谈论此事
马男波杰克
BoJack Horseman
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