马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S03E06

Part 3 Feb. 17, 2020, 10:47 a.m.

我敢这么说是因为
I can say that with confidence,
我肯定不会面临这种抉择
because I will never have to make that decision,
所以我说这话是很公正的
so I'm unbiased.
-这一视频会美化堕胎吗 -很有可能汤姆
- Does this video glamorize abortion? - Very possibly, Tom.
巴塞洛缪·斯加沃夫
《华♥盛♥顿♥邮♥报♥》青年文化专家
千禧一代普遍认为所有事情都没荣亮
Millennials today think everything is NBD.
没荣亮意思就是没什么荣亮
NBD of course stands for No BD,
荣亮的出处是黄荣亮
referring to B.D. Wong,
《监狱风云》《蝴蝶君》的主演
年轻人都觉得他很了不得
who teens think is a very big deal.
所以当我们形容一件事没荣亮
So if something's not BD,
意思就是没什么大不了
it means it's not a big deal.
-近日来堕胎没荣亮 -堕胎真的有必要吗
- These days, abortions are not BD. - Are abortions even necessary?
我听说有一个理论
I heard a theory
福吉·圣耶路撒冷
真·医生
就是如果女人怀了不想要的孩子
that if a woman really has an unwanted pregnancy,
身体就会有办法把胎儿分解成气体
the body has a way to break the fetus down into gas particles
这样她就能把胎儿当屁放出来了
and then she can just fart it out.
你是在哪里听说这种稀奇古怪的"放屁"学说的
Where did you hear this intriguing "Fart it out" theory?
-记不清了可能是《圣经》里 -感谢你说明
- I don't remember. Maybe the Bible? - Thank you for clarifying.
接下来缺智·克鲁尼让观众因他的最新电影落泪
Next up, Jurj Clooners is making audiences cry in his new film,
而他最近玩的整蛊却让人...陷入沉思
but his latest prank might make you... think?
缺智他很喜欢整人对吗
Jurj. He likes pranks, huh?
我会整他的我会往死里整他的
I'll prank him. I'll prank him real good.
我们得把他引出来大牌演员都喜欢什么
We'll need to draw him out. What do A-list actors like?
超长林肯奶妈
Stretch limos? Nannies?
开私人飞机到沙漠地带
Flying their private jets to disaster areas
好让他们能做点慈善吗
so they can "Help out"?
没错林肯我们搞台林肯来
Yeah, limos. We'll get a limo.
还得有司机带的帽子我来扮司机
I'll need one of those caps, I'll be the driver.
我去接他等他开始犯浑说
I'll pick him up, and he'll be all like,
"我是缺智我逊毙了"
"I'm Jurj, I suck,"
我就对他说 "没想到吧" 然后一棒子抡过去
and then I'll be all, "Surprise," And hit him with a bat.
整蛊成功
Pranked!
等你用棍子打他的时候
It really doesn't seem like a prank
看起来可一点不像整蛊
as much as you hitting him with a bat.
是啊这个恶意满满的整蛊要证明他就一笑话
Yeah, it's a bad prank on purpose to show how stupid pranks are.
-那才是重点 -那真的是重点吗
- That's the point. -Is that the point?
我要开始准备才行出发去豪车车♥库♥
I'm working on levels here, man. To the limousine repository.
下午好克鲁尼先生
Good afternoon, Mr. Clooners.
你好伙计稍等一下我的公♥关♥在后头
Hey, man, just one sec, my publicist is right behind me.
当然没问题等公♥关♥来吧
Of course. Of course. Bring the publicist.
-糟了 -你说什么司机
- Oh, shit. - What's that, driver?
我是说"奥斯威辛" 你演那个玩骰子的纳粹
I said, "Auschwitz." You're the Nazi who played Yahtzee.
没错总之
Right, well, anyway,
我们要去美国在线时代华纳百事可乐维亚康姆
we're going to the AOL-Time-Warner-PepsiCo-Viacom
哈里伯顿天网丰田操盘手乔的礼堂
Halliburton-Skynet-Toyota-Trader Joe's Auditorium
出席图片选择独♥立♥精神奖
for the Image Choice Spirit Awards.
好的女士这就出发开车开车
Uh... okay, yes, ma'am. Here I go. Driving, driving.
你没必要废话这么多开车就好
You don't need to talk, you can just drive.
其实在路上能去几个地方吗
Actually, can we make a couple stops?
我厕纸用完了
I am totally out of toilet paper,
所以如果能找到来爱德在哪里
so if you could find a Rite Aid.
美国最大的连锁药店之一
等我们到那儿了你就得走进去帮我买♥♥厕纸
When we get there, you have to go in and buy the TP for me.
我进去买♥♥会被粉丝围堵的
I'll get mobbed by fans if I go in.
买♥♥点我菊花经受得起的厕纸就好
Just pick out something extra soft for my tushy.
-我不知道啊 -照他说的做司机
- I don't know - Do as he says, driver.
-抓紧点 -好吧
- Chop chop. - Okay.
我的顾虑是你给了反堕胎支持者机会
My concern is that you're actually giving the pro-life movement
把你当作一种极端例子...
something to latch onto as an example of--
天呐你真的好没意思
Oh, my God, you are so boring.
我能现在堕了和你的对话吗堕了
Can I abort talking to you right now? Abort.
你得三思而后行...
You need to stop and think...
不然怎样来咬我啊
Or what? You gonna sic Fido on me?
我仅在此提供情绪性支持
I am just here for emotional support.
戴安你能先别管这事吗我不想再提醒你了
Diane, can you let it go? I don't want to have to ask you again.
我真心觉得我们有机会在这件事上做些文章
I really think we have the chance to say something here,
结果我们只会说"噗噗叭叭"
and all we're saying is "Pshew pshew pow."
-什么鬼 -你在说什么啊
- What is that? - What are you doing?
枪声啊歌♥里就是这么唱的
That's the gun sounds, from the song.
你是说"砰砰啪啪"吗
Do you mean, "Brrap brrap pew pew"?
是啊我的意思就是"噗噗叭叭"
Yeah, that's what I did. "Pshow, kapow."
-枪声可不是这样的 -"乒乒"
- That's not what a gun sounds like. - Prrow!
-"噗噗叭叭" -"乓乓"
- Pshow, kapow! - Bop!
-"砰砰啪啪" -"咻咻咻"
- Brrap brrap pew pew! - Ppew, ping!
你们能别再模仿枪声了吗
Can everyone please stop making gun sounds?
真把我吓坏了
It is really freaking me out.
我的意思是现在大家都关心你说的话
My point is, everyone's listening to you now.
但很快人们会感到乏味并且转移注意力
Soon people are gonna get bored and move onto the next thing
到时候你会恨自己
and you'll hate yourself
恨自己在有机会的时候
that you weren't able to make a difference
没能做出改变
when you had the chance.
相信我人们的注意力转移得很快的
Believe me, it happens sooner than you think.
大家好我是瑞安·西...
Hi. I'm A Ryan Sea--
好了到达目的地下车吧
Okay, we're here, finally. Get out.
我们能再去一个地方吗
Ooh, can we make one more stop?
我刚想起来我把老婆忘在家了
I just remembered we left my wife back at the house.
我们能回去吗拜托噜
Can we go back? Pwease?
司机这个男人可对你说"拜托噜"
Driver? The man said, "Pwease."
行了我受够了我不是司机我是波杰克
That's it. Enough. I am not your driver. It is I, BoJack.
波杰克你在这儿干什么
BoJack? What are you doing?
我本来想恶作剧一下缺智拿这根球棒揍他一顿
I was gonna prank Jurj by hitting him with this bat,
结果你跳上了车
but you got into the car
因为显然你就是个大骗子
because, apparently, you are a two-timing liar.
等等你要拿球棒干啥
Wait, what's the thing with the bat?
波杰克你这样并不好看
BoJack, this is not a good look on you.
这么长时间以来我一直以为你相信我
All this time, I thought you believed in me.
所以你每年都会有客户获奖
This is why your clients win every year.
因为你相信客户代表客户
You represent everyone.
这和你的公♥关♥水平根本没关系
It has nothing to do with whether you're a good publicist or not.
我是个非常优秀的公♥关♥
I am a marvelous publicist.
在我这里就不是
Not to me.
你在这个光爱恶作剧的混♥蛋♥这里就做得很好
You're doing great work for this asshole who loves pranks.
你现在不就在跟他搞恶作剧
You're pranking him right now.
对我就想用个智障恶作剧让他知道恶作剧有多蠢
Yeah, with a bad prank to show how stupid pranks are.
听起来好复杂哦
Seems a little convoluted,
所以说明你这个恶作剧很好啊
which is actually a trademark of a great prank.
很厉害嘛先生
Well played, sir.
不这个恶作剧很烂
No, it's a bad prank.
这才是我的意思恶作剧很蠢
That's my point. Pranks are dumb.
我们迟到了
We're late,
我也不想再在这件事上跟你绕圈子了
and I won't keep going round and round with you on this.
每个公♥关♥都有很多客户
Publicists have many clients.
我的公♥关♥就没有你被炒了
Not my publicist. You're fired.
你在开玩笑吗谁会炒掉安娜·皮塔饼
Are you kidding? Who fires Ana Spanakopita?
我会我也真炒了她
I do. I just did.
那谁来给你安排媒体亮相
Who's gonna set up your press appearances?
是你的白♥痴♥经纪人还是你的弱智助理
Your hopeless agent? Your idiot sidekick?
不用你操心赶紧滚出我的豪华轿车
Not your problem. Get the hell out of my limo.
我半个小时以后还要接一个单身派对的人呢
'Cause I gotta pick up a bachelorette party in 30 minutes.
性缇娜欢迎做客节目
Sextina, welcome to the program.
能为观众现场模仿几句枪声吧
Can I get a "pew pew" for the fans?
汤姆堕胎是一件很严肃的事情
Tom, abortion is a very serious subject.
我同意这确实很严肃
Yes, very serious, I agree.
我想讲述堕胎的真♥相♥
I want to tell the real story about abortion,
让全美观众有所了解
show America what it's really about,
所以我性缇娜·阿卡菲娜
which is why your girl Sextina Aquafina
将会电视直播堕胎全过程
is gonna have her abortion live on television.
怎么样
What what?
咚咚那个响叮当
Pay-per-view, chitches.