马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S03E09

Part 3 Feb. 17, 2020, 10:48 a.m.

想方设法帮你接到角色
I still managed to get you jobs.
然后你要么爽约要么搞得一团糟
And then you would flake, or sabotage them,
要么陷入
or get wrapped up
某种危机紧急状况或莫名的忧伤之中
in some crisis or emergency or vague sadness.
所有人都让我别管你
Everyone told me to dump you--
我的老板制♥作♥人导演
my bosses, film execs, directors,
他们都跟我说你已经扶不起来了
they all told me you were washed up,
是个无名小卒过气明星演艺圈的笑柄
a nobody, a has-been, a joke,
脑满肠肥不上镜
too portly for TV.
脑满肠肥不上镜谁说的
Too portly for TV? Who said that?
这不重要
It doesn't matter.
很重要谁说的
It does. Who said it?
路易斯·古兹曼
Luis Guzman.
波多黎各演员身形偏肥硕
路易斯·古兹曼他好意思说我脑满肠肥不上镜
Luis Guzman. Luis Guzman said I'm too portly for TV?
知道吗你说的对波杰克
You know what you're right, BoJack.
这样最好
This is for the best.
老娘再也不用背着你这块一无是处
I no longer have to lug your talentless,
自私自利自我毁灭
self-centered, self-sabotaging,
江郎才尽死气沉沉的朽木行走天涯了
dead-weight carcass of faded talent around my neck.
-注意点 -多谢你炒了我
- Hey. - Thank you for firing me.
我要去给自己倒一小杯
I'm gonna go pour myself
洋芋汁好好庆祝一下
a little celebratory potato juice,
被你炒鱿鱼简直是老娘
because this is the best goddamn thing
人生中最大的幸事
that's ever happened to me.
等等站住回来
Hey! Hey! Hey!
我去捡
I'll get it.
你不能羞辱我完之后就那么走了
You do not talk to me like that and walk away.
不能吗怎么回事
Oh, no? What's happening?
真奇怪我竟然走开了
This is so weird. I'm walking away,
即便你说不准
even though you told me not to.
那又怎样我已经不给你打工了
Right, I don't work for you anymore.
-回来 -打扰一下马男先生
- Hey! - Excuse me, Mr. Horseman?
-别来烦我 -厨房♥里出了一些小状况
- Not now. - We have a slight problem in the kitchen.
人都去哪了
Where is everybody?
问题就在这里他们都辞职了
That's the problem. They all quit.
点的单都还没做呢
The kitchen's backed up with orders.
这样下去客人都没得吃了
No one's getting food.
评论家也越来越没耐心了
And the critic is growing very impatient.
把这个记下来...
Writing that down...
-按惯例行事就行了 -可没有主厨啊
- Just do what you normally do. - But there's no chef.
那今晚就是你的幸运夜你被升主厨了
Well then, tonight's your lucky night. You just got promoted.
可伦家不想当主厨啊
But I don't want to be a chef.
想唱就唱
I want to sing.
开个玩笑这个服务员我当得很开心
Kidding kidding. I'm actually just happy being a waiter.
工作不是我的全部
I'm not my job.
很多人认为...
A lot of people think that--
你现在就是主厨开始干事
You're the chef! Start cheffing!
怎么这样
Oh.
什么 50颗牙不可能吧我要看
What? Fifty teeth? Get out of here. Let me see.
瞧瞧这一嘴牙
Would you look at that.
能摆脱我你很开心吧
You're thrilled to have me out of your life huh?
毕竟我这些年来给你造成这么大压力
Because I was such a burden all those years.
我能闭上嘴了吗
Can I close my mouth now?
-知道我怎么想吗 -没兴趣听
- Know what I think? - Don't wanna hear it.
我觉得你喜欢扮圣母来拯救我
I think you like being there to rescue me.
-这里这里我闭嘴了哟 -随你便
- Hi hi, I close my mouth, okay? - Nobody cares!
-好的 -张着我还在数
- Okay-- - Nope, I'm still counting.
你就喜欢看见我一团糟的样子
You like it when I'm a mess.
因为这样会让你觉得自己非常被需要
Because it makes you feel good about yourself.
知道吗我从来都不想要你的救赎
Guess what? I never asked for that.
你一直都需要
You ask all the time.
你没有一次不求我帮你
You have never not been asking me to rescue you.
"卡洛琳公主帮帮我
"Princess Carolyn, help me!
我把灯光师的老婆睡了
I slept with the gaffer's wife
现在他都不好好给我打光了
and now he's not lighting me properly.
卡洛琳公主
Princess Carolyn,
我在跳跳屋里吐在艾丽·范宁身上了
I threw up on Elle Fanning in a bounce house.
美国女演员
卡洛琳公主为什么我这么傻♥逼♥又混♥蛋♥呢"
Princess Carolyn, why am I such a big stupid asshole?"
很好继续人身攻击不出所料
Okay, great, more abuse. Right on schedule.
这也算人身攻击
Oh, that's abuse?
波杰克你就是个超级傻♥逼♥大混♥蛋♥
"BoJack, you're such a big, stupid asshole.
波杰克你去跳跳屋做什么笨蛋
BoJack, why were you even in the bounce house, dummy?
波杰克你浪费了我30岁那10年
BoJack, you wasted my thirties!"
我从来没这么说过
I never said you wasted my thirties.
不用明说但言语间都透露着那个意思
Didn't have to, you're always saying it.
我不喜欢跟你在一起那让我感觉很糟
And I don't like being around you, because I feel bad.
你让我觉得很糟
You make me feel bad.
所以不是因为我是个不称职的经纪人
So this isn't about me being a bad agent.
因为很多事情
It's about a lot of things.
-你去哪里 -离开
- Where are you going? - Away.
听着兄弟
Hey, listen, man.
我不想介入其中
I don't wanna get in the middle of this,
-这不关我的事 -没错
- It's none of my business. - No, boy.
-但我只想说我喜欢你的毛衣 -什么
- But I just have to say I love that sweater. - What?
-能送我吗 -什么不行
- Can you give it to me? - What? No.
可我张了那么长时间的嘴
I held my mouth open a really long time.
那个跟毛衣...
What does that have to do--?
我觉得你这样太不公平了
I just feel like you're not being fair,
无论是对我还是对凯特尼斯公主
to me or Princess Katniss.
-等等谁 -你朋友
- Wait, who? - Your friend.
你已经忘了她了吗果然是波舒瓦克[怪胎]
You've forgotten her already? Typical BoSchwack.
真是受够你了
Alright, that's enough out of you.
没关系没关系你能搞定的
It's all right, It's all right. You're gonna get through this.
一定能撑过去
You're gonna get through this.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
你还好吗你已经在里面很久了
Are you okay? You've been in there a long time.
我出来了一会儿又回来了
I left for a while and came back.
我想让你知道这是个艰难的决定
Just so you know, this wasn't an easy decision.
-这里是女厕所 -外面发生什么了
- This is the ladies' room! - What's going on out there?
你在看电影吗
Are you watching a movie?
我很苦恼就去问了安娜
I agonized over this. Ask Ana.
看吧你果然跟她商量过了
Oh. So you did talk about it with Ana.
是的我尊重她的意见
Yeah. I respect her opinion.
别上爪子别上爪子
Paws not claws! Paws not claws!
苍天啊你好强壮
Hey! Ow! God, you're strong.
这就是我说的丧失专业精神
This is exactly the kind of unprofessionalism I'm talking about.
你想跟我谈专业精神
You want to talk about professionalism?
是的没错
Yes, yes I do.
但不是在这里
But not here.
你说你想保持专业关系简直屁话
You say you want professionalism? Bullshit.
你想要的不过是个能给你暖屌♥的妈而已
You want a mommy you can slide your dick in and out.
我可以性事专业两不误
I can want that and also want professionalism.
一个自律又能暖床的妈
A sex-mommy who keeps her boundaries
我的要求过分吗
is that too much to ask?
跟你合作过的女性之中
Is there a single woman you've worked with
有哪个不是被你烂醉之后给上了的
who you haven't tried to groggily thrust yourself into?
上帝啊还觉得我想摆脱你让你很诧异吗
Oh my God. Is it any wonder I don't want to be around you?
你一直乐此不疲地告诉我我有多渣
All you do is tell me I'm a terrible person.
得了吧你这个自怨自艾的受虐狂
Please, you're such a self-pitying masochist,
我夸你十句骂你一句
I could say ten nice things and one mean thing,
你总是只听到难听的那一句
you would only hear the one mean thing.
你倒是说十句好听的来听听啊
I'd love it if you said ten nice things to me.
你以为我说不出来吗我能说出来
You don't think I can? I can say nice things.
随时恭候
Ready when you are.
说我是自怨自艾的受虐狂那一句算吗
Does self-pitying masochist count,
还是从头开始
or are we starting from scratch?
好一我的胡须都要冻掉了
Okay, one-- I'm freezing my whiskers off.
你有天生的魅力
You have a natural charisma.
你犹豫了说明你在说谎
You hesitated, that means it's a lie.