马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S03E06

Part 4 Feb. 17, 2020, 10:47 a.m.

-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
"咚咚那个响叮当"
"Pay-per-view, chitches."
砰砰啪啪咔嚓咔嚓
Brrap brrap, pew pew, ka-ching ka-ching.
你都没有真的要堕胎
How are you going to have an abortion on live TV
你要怎么电视直播
when you're not even really having an abortion?
-直接《逃离德黑兰》一下不就好了 -什么意思
- Duh, we'll just Argo that shit. - What does that mean?
对啊假装堕胎
Yeah, yeah. Fake abortion.
电影特效就像《逃离德黑兰》一样
Movie magic, like in Argo.
《逃离德黑兰》才不是那个剧情
That is not what happened in Argo.
既然我们真要做那就一定要做好
If we're gonna do this, we got to be real tasteful.
我的堕胎必须要最好的必须高端
Yeah, only the best for my abortion. All class.
约翰·卡彭特可以负责做实际效果
John Carpenter can do the practical effects.
-他欠我一个人情 -什么
- He owes me a favor. - What?
对了我们还可以让埃迪·雷德梅尼来演胎儿
You know what? We'll book Eddie Redmayne as the fetus.
你听你们说的什么胡话
Are you hearing yourselves?
我们不能在电视直播上假装堕胎
We're not going to fake an abortion on live TV.
当然了我们可以提前录好
Obviously, we'll pre-tape it.
然后再在屏幕左上角
Then put a little box in the corner
画个小方块写上"直播"
of the screen that says "Live."
你们不觉得这真的非常不尊重
You don't think this is incredibly disrespectful
那些真的堕胎的女性吗
to the women who actually get abortions?
做得好就不会啊
Not if we do it tasteful.
戴安这是客户想要的你就别再刷存在感了
Diane, this is what the client wants. Stop making it about you.
我没有
I'm not making it about me.
-我真是受够了你总是在制♥造♥麻烦了 -我没有
- I am so tired of you creating problems. - I'm not--
我很抱歉你这么多产
I'm sorry you're so fertile
有着性生活还有幸福的婚姻
and in a sexually active, loving relationship
而你却不想拥有一个家庭
and now you don't want a family.
-我相信这一定让你很难受 -你说什么
- I'm sure that's really hard for you. - What?
如果我们现在不谈我的事了那我就走了
Uh... if this is not about me anymore, then I'mma go.
你们撕完逼了再来找我
Y'all figure your shit out and get back at me.
那个大胡子合唱团律所在哪里
Where's that ZZ Top mofo at?
还能不能给姐搞到停车许可了
Can a chitch get a parking validation or what?
你有什么话想对我说吗
Is there something you want to say to me?
为了走到今天这一步我付出了所有
I have given everything to get where I am,
我可不想让一切付之东流
and I am not about to throw all that away.
她想堕胎我就让她堕
She wants an abortion? I'm getting her an abortion.
-你知道这都是扯淡 -一切都是扯淡戴安
- You know this is bullshit. - It's all bullshit, Diane.
这个行业就这样你在这份工作的表现并没有好到
That's the gig. And you're not good enough at this job
让你看不起这份工作
to be too good for this job.
我不会参与这件事的
I won't be a part of this.
小胡子你丫跑哪儿去了
Yo, Beardo, where did you go?
我得拿到停车许可不然我走不了啊
I need to get my parking validation did, or I cannot leave.
如果你们觉得性缇娜·阿卡菲娜会付15美元停车费
Y'all's trippin' if you think Sextina Aquafina
那你们的脑子一定是进水了
is paying $15 for parking.
好的新公♥关♥ 你给我安排了什么
All right, new publicist. What do you got for me?
骄马是个运动员对不对
So, Secretariat was an athlete, right?
你曾经也做过运动员
And you used to be an athlete.
什么我没做过
What? No, I didn't.
你没打过棒球和橄榄球吗
You didn't play baseball and football?
我好像谷歌♥错人了
You know, I think I Googled the wrong guy.
你以为我是波·杰克逊吗
Did you think I was Bo Jackson?
你肯定会喜欢这个主意的
This idea I know you're going to like.
你知道阿尔瓦拉多那个洗车行吧
You know that car wash on Alvarado?
他们需要人扮成大猩猩转标志牌
They need someone to dress up like a gorilla and spin a sign.
我为什么要干那个
Why would I do that?
只要能露脸就行不是吗
Anything that gets your face out there, right?
扮成大猩猩我还要怎么露脸
How does it get my face out there dressed like a gorilla?
也许这个主意还不够完善
Maybe that one's a dud,
不过你觉得庐·贝加的《曼波1号♥》
but hey, you think Lou Bega knocked it out of the park
原名为Mambo No 5
特别好听吗
with "Mambo Number One"?
当然不好听但他并没有放弃
No, but he kept at it.
你会堕车吗
如果耶稣被堕掉了呢
小宝宝很好玩的
竟然说我在刷存在感
I'm making things all about me?
我才是要堕胎的那个人
I'm the one who's having an abortion.
-真是太可笑了 -她们真是道德缺失
- It's ridiculous. - They're completely morally bankrupt.
我同意 247%的同意
I agree with you, 247 percent.
我在表上写上了"道德缺失"
I just wrote "morally bankrupt" on this form.
写得对
You were right to do that.
这份表格太管闲事了
This form is being very nosy right now.
我为什么要接下那份工作
Why did I even take that job?
你当时处境很不好
You were going through a rough time,
卡洛琳公主想帮你一把
Princess Carolyn wanted to help you
就给了你一份工作
and she offered you the job.
她不该这样做的真是道德缺失
Which she should not have done. So morally bankrupt.
好了她那样做是挺好的
Okay, yeah, that was nice.
可是她不该任由那个
But still, she is putting her company's bottom line
神经病宽吻海豚刷新公♥司♥的底线
before the very real damage that bottle-nosed maniac is doing
每次她上新闻...
every time she gets on the news and--
有了新闻
That's it, the news.
我就堂堂正正地
I gotta take the high road,
上新闻曝光这群垃圾
go on the news and rat those suckers out.
这个主意真的好吗
Is that really a good idea?
你觉得好就好
I mean it is if you think it is,
无论如何我都会支持你
because I am here to support you no matter what,
但也许这不是最好的办法
but maybe it isn't the best idea?
如果这个主意是给孩子取名叫迪伦
Like, if that idea were a Dillon brother
或者凯文麦特不行吗
maybe it's a Kevin, not a Matt?
总得有人告诉全世界性缇娜是个大骗子
Someone has to tell the world that Sextina is a total fraud.
你认识性缇娜·阿卡菲娜
You know Sextina Aquafina?
-是啊我们是同事 -她真是太帅了
- Oh. Yeah, I mean, I work with her. - Oh. She is so cool.
她的歌♥给了我勇气让我觉得自己无所不能
Sextina's music makes me feel strong, like I can do anything.
那首歌♥没有伤害到你吗
It doesn't offend you?
那那段歌♥词呢
What about the part where she says,
"我向上帝祈祷这个胎儿有灵魂
"I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul
"因为我想让它感受到被拉出来的疼痛"
'cause I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole"?
那是个玩笑这你知道的吧
It's a joke. You get that it's a joke, right?
当然
Well, obviously.
你真的觉得她想一枪毙掉那个小胎儿吗
Do you think she actually wants to shoot her fetus with a gun?
-我明白 -堕胎是件很可怕的事情
- No, I get it. - Getting an abortion is scary.
外面站着那么多人在抗♥议♥
With all the protesters out front,
你还必须得听胎儿的心跳什么的
how you have to listen to the heartbeat and all that.
如果你可以拿这事开玩笑就不会那么害怕了
When you can joke about it, it makes it less scary, you know?
是啊
Yeah.
戴安
Diane?
安娜
Ana?
我不跟缺智干了
I won't be working with Jurj anymore.
我今天早上跟他说了
I let him know this morning.
一开始他以为我是跟他恶作剧
At first he thought I was doing a really good prank,
但最后他还是明白了
but eventually I think he understood.
你放弃了缺智
You dropped Jurj?
缺智·克鲁尼美国最性感男人缺智·克鲁尼
Jurj Clooners? Sexiest Man in America Jurj Clooners?
缺智并不用多操心所有人都喜欢他
Jurj is easy. Everyone loves him.
我可有公♥关♥专业的研究生学位
I've got a master's degree in Publicist,
是时候让它派上用场了
it's time to put that to use.
我放弃了所有客户你身处弱势
I dropped all my other clients. You're the underdog.
我要把全部精力集中在你身上帮你赢下奥斯卡
I want to put all my attention on you and get you that Oscar.
没有别的客户了很好
So nobody else, huh? Good.
你的全部希望和梦想都寄托在我身上
Just all your hopes and dreams pinned on me.
出人意料地
Somehow beating the odds
获得一个演员职业生涯中最高的嘉奖
and winning the highest possible accolade in an actor's career.
-我知道我们能行 -只有我了
- I know we can do it. - Just me, huh?
这真是... 真是...
Wow, that's actually. That--
是有人踩在我的气管上了吗
Is someone standing on my windpipe?
不如我们给缺智打电♥话♥吧这样就可以...
Let's just get Jurj on the phone so we can--
不波杰克我相信你知道了吗
No, BoJack. I believe in you, okay?
知道了
Okay.
安娜你在干什...
Whoa, Ana, what are you--?
-天啊 -嘘没事的
- Oh, boy. - Shh... It's okay.